Naqshbandia Sardaria The Silsila Of Hadhrat Abu Baqar Sidiq (ra)


سلسلہ عالیہ نقشبندیہ سرداریہ


اَلَاۤ اِنَّ اَوۡلِيَآءَ اللّٰهِ لَا خَوۡفٌ عَلَيۡهِمۡ وَلَا هُمۡ يَحۡزَنُوۡنَۖ ۚ‏ ﴿٦۲﴾ سن رکھو کہ جو خدا کے دوست ہیں ان کو نہ کچھ خوف ہوگا اور نہ وہ غمناک ہوں گے ﴿٦۲﴾                                                                                                                                 سلسلہ عالیہ نقشبندیہ سرداریہ                                                                                                            The Silsila Of Hadrat Abu Bakar Sidiq (RA)                                    اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ، كَمَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيدٌ، اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ، كَمَا بَارَكْتَ عَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، إِنَّكَ حَمِيدٌ مَجِيد                 مبارک ھو مسلما نوں اس دور زلا لت میں ھوا اکمل ولی الله یک داھے دھر پیدا کیا جس نے بنظر کرم اپنے فیض باراں سے قلب کے باغ ویراں میں مہبت کا ثمر پیدا     شریعت مصطفے کو جس نے زندا کر کے دکھلایا           میرے حضر ت کو آکر گر عقید ت سے کوئ دیکھے تو اس کے د ل میں  ھو گا دل یقین جلوہ زکر پیدہ                                            اگر کوئ طا لب الله ھو میر ے پا س آے یک لخت اس کو الله والا بنا د و نگا

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Marriage & Divorce



Husband & Wife 

The relationship between the husband and wife is a very tender, loving and pure relationship. They are in reality the "garb" of one another. Thus, it is the duty of each to be protective over the life, property and modesty of one another. It is necessary for them to realise and understand their mutual duties as a couple. They are two bodies joined by the soul.
The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that if a husband was pleased and content with his wife when she passed away, then she will enter Paradise. The explanation of one Hadith is that if a husband passes the night displeased with his wife, she invokes upon herself the Curse of Allah and the Angels. In another hadith, the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "If I had commanded prostration for any other than Allah, I would have commanded the wife to make Sajdah to the husband." However, since Sajdah is none but for Allah, a woman cannot prostrate to her husband but she should be obedient towards him.
The husband is the provider and protector of his wife. He should thus fulfill her needs and keep her pleased. "The best from amongst you is he who is best to his wife." (Hadith) If there is a conflict, the husband should not be hasty to give her Talaaq (Divorce), but should cool his temper, think carefully and take the opinion of elders before making any decisions as Talaaq is not something which is liked. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated: "From those actions that are Halaal, the most disliked is Talaaq."
The wife should also be patient with the husband. She should show her gratitude for anything that he does. She should understand him and not be lavish with his wealth. She should always be neatly attired and loving. She should love and respect his family. That house in which there is daily conflict is living hell and that home in which there is love and respect is a blessed home.
The Laws of Shari'ah: If a man passes away, the wife may give him Ghusal, but the husband cannot give his deceased wife Ghusal, nor can he touch her deceased body without a cloth. He can, however, see her face. It is common in the public that the husband cannot carry the wife's Janazah or lower her into the grave. This is false. He may see her face, carry her Janazah and lower her into the grave.


58 hadith found in 'Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah)'
of Sunan Abu-Dawud.
Marriage and Divorce
(Al-NikAh and Al-TalAq)

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A man came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), and said: My wife does not prevent the hand of a man who touches her. He said: Divorce her. He then said: I am afraid my inner self may covet her. He said: Then enjoy her.  


 Narrated Ma'qil ibn Yasar: A man came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: I have found a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not give birth to children. Should I marry her? He said: No. He came again to him, but he prohibited him. He came to him third time, and he (the Prophet) said: Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall outnumber the peoples by you.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: Marthad ibn AbuMarthad al-Ghanawi used to take prisoners (of war) from Mecca (to Medina). At Mecca there was a prostitute called Inaq who had illicit relations with him. (Marthad said:) I came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said to him: May I marry Inaq, Apostle of Allah? The narrator said: He kept silence towards me. Then the verse was revealed:"....and the adulteress none shall marry save and adulterer or an idolater." He called me and recited this (verse) to me, and said: Do not marry her.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: The adulterer who has been flogged shall not marry save the one like him. AbuMa'mar said: Habib al-Mu'allim narrated (this tradition) to us on the authority of Amr ibn Shu'ayb.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: What is unlawful by reason of consanguinity is unlawful by reason of fosterage.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Aflah ibn AbulQu'ays entered upon me. I hid myself from him. He said: You are hiding yourself from me while I am your paternal uncle. She said: I said: From where? He said: The wife of my brother suckled you. She said: The woman suckled me and not the man. Thereafter the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) entered upon me and I told him this matter. He said: He is your paternal uncle; he may enter upon you.  


 Narrated Hajjaj ibn Malik al-Aslami: I asked: Apostle of Allah, what will remove from me the obligation due for fostering a child? He said: A slave or a slave-woman.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) abominated the combination of paternal and maternal aunts and the combination of two maternal aunts and two paternal aunts in marriage.  


 Narrated Saburah ibn Ma'bad al-Juhani: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) prohibited temporary marriage with women.  


 Narrated Mu'awiyah: AbdurRahman ibn Hurmuz al-A'raj said: Al-Abbas ibn Abdullah ibn al-Abbas married his daughter to AbdurRahman ibn al-Hakam, and AbdurRahman married his daughter to him. And they made this (exchange) their dower. Mu'awiyah wrote to Marwan commanding him to separate them. He wrote in his letter: This is the shighar which the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) has forbidden.

 Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: (The narrator Isma'il said: I think ash-Sha'bi attributed this tradition to the Prophet) The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Curse be upon the one who marries a divorced woman with the intention of making her lawful for her former husband and upon the one for whom she is made lawful.  


 Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If any slave marries without the permission of his masters, he is a fornicator.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: One of you must not ask a woman in marriage when his brother has done so already, and one of you must not sell (his own goods) when his brother has already sold (his goods) except with his permission.  


 Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. He (Jabir) said: I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of her guardians is void. (He said these words) three times. If there is cohabitation, she gets her dower for the intercourse her husband has had. If there is a dispute, the sultan (man in authority) is the guardian of one who has none.  


 Narrated AbuMusa: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian.  


 Narrated Umm Habibah: Ibn Az-Zubayr reported on the authority of Umm Habibah that she was the wife of Ibn Jahsh, but he died, He was among those who migrated to Abyssinia. Negus then married her to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).  


 Narrated Samurah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Any woman who is married by two guardians (to two different men) belongs to the first woman who is married by two guardians (to two different men) belongs to the first of them and anything sold by a man to two persons belongs to the first of them.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: About the Qur'anic verse: "It is not lawful for you forcibly to inherit the woman (of your deceased kinsmen), nor (that) ye should put constraint upon them. When a man died, his relatives had more right to his wife then her own guardian. If any one of them wanted to marry her, he did so; or they married her (to some other person), and if they did not want to marry her, they did so. So this verse was revealed about the matter.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: An orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says nothing that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the authority of the guardian cannot be exercised against her will. The full information rest with the tradition narrated by Yazid.  

 Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Consult women about (the marriage of) their daughters.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: A guardian has no concern with a woman previously married and has no husband, and an orphan girl (i.e. virgin) must be consulted, her silence being her acceptance.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: AbuHind cupped the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) in the middle of his head. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Banu Bayadah, marry AbuHind (to your daughter), and ask him to marry (his daughter) to you. He said: The best thing by which you treat yourself is cupping.  


 Narrated Maymunah, daughter of Kardam: I went out along with my father during the hajj performed by the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). I saw the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). My father came near him; he was riding his she-camel. He stopped there and listened to him. He had a whip like the whip of the teachers. I heard the Bedouin and the people saying: Keep away from the whip. My father came up to him. He caught hold of his foot and acknowledged him (his Prophethood). He stopped and listened to him. He then said: I participated in the army of Athran (in the pre-Islamic days). The narrator, Ibn al-Muthanna, said: Army of Gathran. Tariq ibn al-Muraqqa' said: Who will give me a lance and get a reward? I asked: What is its reward? He replied: I shall marry him to my first daughter born to me. So I gave him my lance and then disappeared from him till I knew that a daughter was born to him and she came of age. I then came to him and said: Send my wife to me. He swore that he would not do that until I fixed a dower afresh other than that agreed between me and him, and I swore that I should not give him the dower other than that I had given him before. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: How old is she now? He said: She has grown old. He said: I think you should leave her. He said: This put awe and fear into me, and I looked at the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). When he felt this in me, he said: You will not be sinful, nor will your companion be sinful.  


 Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: AbulAjfa' as-Sulami said: Umar (Allah be pleased with him) delivered a speech to us and said: Do not go to extremes in giving women their dower, for if it represented honour in this world and piety in Allah's sight, the one of you most entitled to do so would have been the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him). The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) did not marry any of his wives or gave any of his daughters in marriage for more than twelve uqiyahs.  


 Narrated Umm Habibah: Urwah reported on the authority of Umm Habibah that she was married to Abdullah ibn Jahsh who died in Abyssinia, so the Negus married her to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) giving her on his behalf a dower of four thousand (dirhams). He sent her to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) with Shurahbil ibn Hasanah. AbuDawud said: Hasanah is his mother.  


 Narrated Umm Habibah daughter of AbuSufyan: Az-Zuhri said: The Negus married Umm Habibah daughter of AbuSufyan to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) for a dower of four thousand dirhams. He wrote it to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) who accepted it.  


 Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If anyone gives as a dower to his wife two handfuls of flour or dates he has made her lawful for him. AbuDawud said: This tradition has been narrated by AbdurRahman ibn Mahdi, from Salih ibn Ruman, from AbuzZubayr on the authority of Jabir as his own statement (not going back to the Prophet). It has also been transmitted by AbuAsim from Salih ibn Ruman , from AbuzZubayr on the authority of Jabir who said: During the lifetime of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) we used to contract temporary marriage for a handful of grain.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: Masruq said on the authority of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: Abdullah (ibn Mas'ud ) was asked about a man who had married a woman without cohabiting with her or fixing any dower for her till he died. Ibn Mas'ud said: She should receive the full dower (as given to women of her class), observe the waiting period ('Iddah), and have her share of inheritance. Thereupon Ma'qil ibn Sinan said: I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) giving the same decision regarding Birwa' daughter of Washiq (as the decision you have given).  

 Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: Abdullah ibn Utbah ibn Mas'ud said: Abdullah ibn Mas'ud was informed of this story of a man. The people continued to visit him for a month or visited him many times (the narrator was not sure). He said: In this matter I hold the opinion that she should receive the type of dower given to women of her class with no diminution or excess, observe the waiting period ('iddah) and have her share of inheritance. If it is erroneous, that is from me and from Satan. Allah and His Apostle are free from its responsibility. Some people from Ashja' got up; among them were al-Jarrah and AbuSinan. They said: Ibn Mas'ud, we bear witness that the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) gave a decision for us regarding Birwa', daughter of Washiq, to the same effect as the decision you have given. Her husband was Hilal ibn Murrah al-Ashja'i. Thereupon Abdullah ibn Mas'ud was very pleased when his decision agreed with the decision of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).  


 Narrated Uqbah ibn Amir: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said to a man: Would you like me to marry you to so-and-so? He said: Yes. He also said to the woman: Would you like me to marry you to so-and-so? She said: Yes. He then married one to the other. The man had sexual intercourse with her, but he did not fix any dower for her, nor did he give anything to her. He was one of those who participated in the expedition to al-Hudaybiyyah. One part of the expedition to al-Hudaybiyyah had a share in Khaybar. When he was nearing his death, he said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) married me to so-and-so, and I did not fix a dower for her, nor did I give anything to her. I call upon you as witness that I have given my share in Khaybar as her dower. So she took the share and sold it for one lakh (of dirhams).  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) taught us the address in case of some need: Praise be to Allah from Whom we ask help and pardon, and in Whom we take refuge from the evils within ourselves. He whom Allah guides has no one who can lead him astray, and he whom He leads astray has no one to guide him. I testify that there is no god but Allah, and I testify that Muhammad is His servant and Apostle. "You who believe,...fear Allah by Whom you ask your mutual rights, and reverence the wombs. Allah has been watching you." ..."you who believe, fear Allah as He should be feared, and die only as Muslims" ...."you who believe, fear Allah as He should be feared, and die only as Muslims"....."you who believe, fear Allah and say what is true. He will make your deeds sound, and forgive your sins. He who obeys Allah and His Apostle has achieved a mighty success." The narrator, Muhammad ibn Sulayman, did mention the word "inna" (verily).  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: When the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) recited the tashahhud....He then narrated the same tradition. In this version after the word "and His Apostle" he added the words: "He has sent him in truth as a bearer of glad tidings and a warner before the Hour. He who obeys Allah and His Prophet is on the right path, and he who disobeys them does not harm anyone except himself, and he does not harm Allah to the least.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: When Ali married Fatimah, the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said to him: Give her something. He said: I have nothing with me. He said: Where is your Hutamiyyah (coat of mail).  


 Narrated A man from the Companion of the Prophet: Muhammad ibn AbdurRahman ibn Thawban reported on the authority of a man from the Companions of the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him): When Ali married Fatimah, daughter of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him), he intended to have intercourse with her. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) prohibited him to do so until he gave her something. Ali said: I have nothing with me, Apostle of Allah. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Give her your coat of mail. So he gave her his coat of mail, and then cohabited with her.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) commanded me to send a woman to her husband before he gave something to her.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: A woman who marries on a dower or a reward or a promise before the solemnisation of marriage is entitled to it; and whatever is fixed for her after solemnisation of marriage belongs to whom it is given. A man is more entitled to receive a thing given as a gift on account of his daughter or sister (than other kinds of gifts).  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: When the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) congratulated a man on his marriage, he said: May Allah bless for you, and may He bless on you, and combine both of you in good (works).  


 Narrated Basrah: A man from the Ansar called Basrah said: I married a virgin woman in her veil. When I entered upon her, I found her pregnant. (I mentioned this to the Prophet). The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: She will get the dower, for you made her vagina lawful for you. The child will be your slave. When she has begotten (a child), flog her (according to the version of al-Hasan). The version of Ibn AbusSari has: You people, flog her, or said: inflict hard punishment on him.  

 Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) used to divide his time equally and said: O Allah, this is my division concerning what I possess, so do not blame me concerning what Thou possessest and I do not.  


 Narrated Qays ibn Sa'd: I went to al-Hirah and saw them (the people) prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, so I said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) has most right to have prostration made before him. When I came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), I said: I went to al-Hirah and saw them prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, but you have most right, Apostle of Allah, to have (people) prostrating themselves before you. He said: Tell me , if you were to pass my grave, would you prostrate yourself before it? I said: No. He then said: Do not do so. If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah.  


 Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: Mu'awiyah asked: Apostle of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house.  


 Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah: I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.  


 Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn AbuDhubab: Iyas ibn Abdullah ibn AbuDhubab reported the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) as saying: Do not beat Allah's handmaidens, but when Umar came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and said: Women have become emboldened towards their husbands, he (the Prophet) gave permission to beat them. Then many women came round the family of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) complaining against their husbands. So the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Many women have gone round Muhammad's family complaining against their husbands. They are not the best among you.  


 Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: A man will not be asked as to why he beat his wife.  


 Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: to Ali: Do not give a second look, Ali, (because) while you are not to blame for the first, you have no right to the second.  


 Narrated Ruwayfi' ibn Thabit al-Ansari: Should I tell you what I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say on the day of Hunayn: It is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the last day to water what another has sown with his water (meaning intercourse with women who are pregnant); it is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the Last Day to have intercourse with a captive woman till she is free from a menstrual course; and it is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the Last Day to sell spoil till it is divided.  

 Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If one of you marries a woman or buys a slave, he should say: "O Allah, I ask Thee for the good in her, and in the disposition Thou hast given her; I take refuge in Thee from the evil in her, and in the disposition Thou hast given her." When he buys a camel, he should take hold of the top of its hump and say the same kind of thing.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: He who has intercourse with his wife through her anus is accursed.  


 Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: Ibn Umar misunderstood (the Qur'anic verse, "So come to your tilth however you will")--may Allah forgive him. The fact is that this clan of the Ansar, who were idolaters, lived in the company of the Jews who were the people of the Book. They (the Ansar) accepted their superiority over themselves in respect of knowledge, and they followed most of their actions. The people of the Book (i.e. the Jews) used to have intercourse with their women on one side alone (i.e. lying on their backs). This was the most concealing position for (the vagina of) the women. This clan of the Ansar adopted this practice from them. But this tribe of the Quraysh used to uncover their women completely, and seek pleasure with them from in front and behind and laying them on their backs. When the muhajirun (the immigrants) came to Medina, a man married a woman of the Ansar. He began to do the same kind of action with her, but she disliked it, and said to him: We were approached on one side (i.e. lying on the back); do it so, otherwise keep away from me. This matter of theirs spread widely, and it reached the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). So Allah, the Exalted, sent down the Qur'anic verse: "Your wives are a tilth to you, so come to your tilth however you will," i.e. from in front, from behind or lying on the back. But this verse meant the place of the delivery of the child, i.e. the vagina.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: I and the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) used to lie in one cloth at night while I was menstruating. If anything from me smeared him, he washed the same place (that was smeared), and did not wash beyond it. If anything from him smeared his clothe, he washed the same place and did not wash beyond that, and prayed with it (i.e. the clothe).  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said about a man who has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman: He should give one or half dinar as sadaqah.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: If a man has sexual intercourse (with menstruating woman) during her bleeding, he should give one dinar as sadaqah, and if he does so when bleeding has stopped, he should give half a dinar as sadaqah.  


 Narrated AbuSa'id al-Khudri: A man said: Apostle of Allah, I have a slave-girl and I withdraw the penis from her (while having intercourse), and I dislike that she becomes pregnant. I intend (by intercourse) what the men intend by it. The Jews say that withdrawing the penis (azl) is burying the living girls on a small scale. He (the Prophet) said: The Jews told a lie. If Allah intends to create it, you cannot turn it away.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: AbuNadrah reported: An old man of Tufawah said to me: I was a guest of AbuHurayrah at Medina. I did not find any one of the companions of the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) more devoted to worship and more hospitable than AbuHurayrah. One day I was with him when he was sitting on his bed. He had a purse which contained pebbles or kernels. A black slave-girl of his was sitting below. Counting them he was glorifying Allah. When the pebbles or the kernels in the purse were finished, she gathered them and put them again in the purse, and gave it to him. He said: Should I not tell you about me and about the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)? I said: Yes. He said: Once when I was laid up with fever in the mosque, the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) came and entered the mosque, and said: Who saw the youth of ad-Daws. He said this three times. A man said: Apostle of Allah, there he is, laid up with fever on one side of the mosque. He moved, walking forward till he reached me. He placed his hand on me. He had a kind talk with me, and I rose. He then began to walk till he reached the place where he used to offer his prayer. He paid his attention to the people. There were two rows of men and one row of women, or two rows of women and one row of men (the narrator is doubtful). He then said: If Satan makes me forget anything during the prayer, the men should glorify Allah, and the women should clap their hands. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) then prayed and he did not forget anything during the prayer. He said: Be seated in your places, be seated in your places. The narrator, Musa, added the word "here". He then praised Allah and exalted Him, and said: Now to our topic. The agreed version begins: He then said: Is there any man among you who approaches his wife, closes the door, covers himself with a curtain, and he is concealed with the curtain of Allah? They replied: Yes. He said: later he sits and says: I did so-and-so; I did so-and-so. The people kept silence. He then turned to the women and said (to them): Is there any woman among you who narrates it? They kept silence. Then a girl fell on one of her knees. The narrator, Mu'ammil, said in his version: a buxom girl. She raised her head before the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) so that he could see her and listen to her. She said: Apostle of Allah, they (the men) describe the secrets (of intercourse) and they (the women) also describe the secrets (of intercourse) to the people. He said: Do you know what the similitude is? He said: The likeness of this act is the likeness of a female Satan who meets the male Satan on the roadside; he fulfils his desire with her while the people are looking at him. Beware! The perfume of men is that whose smell becomes visible and its colour does not appear. Beware! The perfume of women is that whose colour becomes visible and whose smell is not obvious. AbuDawud said: From here I remembered this tradition from Mu'ammil and Musa: Beware! No man should lie with another man, no woman should lie with another woman except with one's child or father. He also mentioned a third which I have forgotten. This has been mentioned in the version of Musaddad, but I do not remember it as precisely as I like. The narrator, Musa, said: Hammad narrated this tradition from al-Jarir from AbuNadrah from at-Tufawi. 


Muhammad allowed temporary marriages. �Abdullah b. Mas�ud reports: �We were on an expedition with Allah�s Messenger and we had no women with us. We said: Should we not have ourselves castrated? The Holy Prophet forbade us to do so. He then granted us permission that we should contract temporary marriage for a stipulated period giving her a garment [for a dowry].� At this �Abdullah felt happy and remembered the QurAnic verse: �The believers do not make unlawful the good things which Allah has made lawful for you, and do not transgress. Allah does not like transgressors� (3243; QurAn 5:87).

JAbir reports: �We contracted temporary marriage giving a handful of dates and flour as a dower� (3249). He told another group: �Yes, we had been benefiting ourselves by this temporary marriage during the lifetime of the Holy Prophet, and during the time of AbU Bakr and �Umar� (3248). IYas b. Salama reports, on the authority of his father, �that Allah�s Messenger gave sanction for contracting temporary marriage for three nights in the year of AutAs [after the Battle of Hunain, A.H. 8] and then forbade it� (3251).

Sunni theologians regard this form of marriage as no longer lawful, but the Shias differ and still practice it in Persia. The Shia theologians support this with a QurAnic verse: �Forbidden to you also are married women, except those who are your hands as slaves. . . . And it is allowed you, besides this, to seek out wives by means of your wealth, with modest conduct, and without fornication. And give those with whom you have cohabited their dowry. This is the law. But it shall be no crime in you to make agreements over and above the law. Verily, God is knowing, Wise� (QurAn 4:24).


Nikah & Talaq From Quran And Hadis


Do not treat Allah's Injunctions as a jest. (2-231)

If ye fear a breach between them, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation.[4-35] 

O Prophet! When ye do divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods (Iddat). (65-1)

  Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves three monthly periods. (2-229 
Such of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the prescribed period, if ye have any doubts, is three months, and for those who have no courses - it is the same. (65-4)

For those who are pregnant, their period is until they deliver their burdens. (65-4)
And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. (2-228) 

And take for witness two persons from among you. (65-2)  

A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. (2-229)
So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably), he cannot, after that, re- marry her. (2-230) 
So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably), he cannot, after that, re- marry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her. In that case there is no blame on either of them if they re-unite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah, which He makes plain to those who understand. (2-230) 
And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable. (2-228) 

If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint, Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do. (4-128)

But if they disagree (and must part), Allah* will provide abundance for each of them from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He that careth for all and is Wise. (4-130) 

If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom.  (2-229) 

Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. (2-225) 

For those who take an oath for abstention from their wives, a waiting for four months is ordained; if then they return, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (2-226)

But if their intention is firm for divorce, Allah heareth and knoweth all things. (2-227)


Such of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the prescribed period, if ye have any doubts, is three months, and for those who have no courses. (65-4)
Here is the clear, Ultimate Qur'anic Guidance.
Surah 65 At-Talaq
[Author's note] This is the 65th Surah of the Qur'an. It has 12 verses. Allah holds man accountable only to the extent what He has given to him.
Some very important Laws for divorce are propounded in this Surah in addition to 2:228-234, 4:3, 4:19, 4:35, 4:128, 33:49, 58:1-3, 65:1-4.


According to the Qur'an, there is absolutely no room for an instant divorce. The process must take months in order to allow reconsideration on the part of the husband and wife.
THE QUR'AN DISREGARDED: It is highly unfortunate and shameful that Muslim jurists have been ignoring and practically revoking these clear verses of the Book of Allah for centuries, in favor of their own conjecture. According to their exploitative and erroneous edicts, if a husband utters the word "Divorce" three times in anger or under any kind of duress or even in a stage drama or movie, divorce takes effect instantly. What a mockery of the Qur'an! They are then declared unlawful for each other. ANYONE EATING OR DRINKING IN THEIR HOME COMMITS HARAM!
THE SOMERSAULT: It is interesting to note that the so called "Fuqaha" (Jurists and Mullahs) who otherwise uphold Hadith in preference to the Word of Allah, conveniently disregard even their 'treasure' whenever it suits their whims or purpose. (They even 'abrogate' the Qur'anic verses against Hadith!)
HADITH IGNORED: In this instance, there is a Hadith in Ibn Majah. The exalted Prophet is reported to have said, "La talaqa fil Ighlaq" = There is absolutely no divorce under any kind of duress, coercion, suddenness, anger etc. This Hadith which is in total harmony with the Qur'an remains obscure or redundant to the "Ulema".
UPHOLD THE QUR'AN: Incidentally there is another beautiful Hadith that strikes a cord with 65:2. The exalted Prophet is reported to have said, "For you O people! Just this verse of the Qur'an could be sufficient. Anyone who is mindful of Allah, He will always grant a way out for him (from difficult situations).


65:1 O Prophet! When you men intend to divorce women, make sure that the waiting period is observed. Keep precise account of this interim. Be mindful of Allah, your Lord. Never expel them from THEIR homes, nor shall they themselves leave their homes unless they commit open immorality. These are, then, the limits imposed by Allah. And whoever crosses Allah's limits, he verily hurts his own 'Self'. You know not that Allah may bring about thereafter a new situation (help create reconciliation).


65:2 And so when they have reached their waiting term, either retain them in kindness or part with them in kindness. And let there be two just persons among you to witness, and establish the evidence straight for Allah. This exhortation is for him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And anyone who is mindful of Allah, He will always grant a way out for him (from difficult situations).
ARBITERS: Three months of attempts to affect reconciliation by arbiters is one of the pre-requisites for divorce.


4:35 (Families and communities must adopt a proactive approach regarding a husband and a wife in discord). If you fear a breach between a husband and wife, appoint two arbiters, one from his family and one from her family. If they decide to reconcile, Allah will help them get together. Verily, Allah is Knower, Aware. (2:228-234, 4:3, 4:19, 4:35, 4:128, 33:49, 58:1 65:1-4).
THE ONLY VALID PROCEDURE: The only valid procedure of divorce is clearly given in 2:224-232
2:224 Let not your senseless oaths in the Name of Allah deter you from doing good to others, from being mindful of the Divine Laws, and from making peace between people. Allah is Hearer, Knower.
2:225 Allah will not task you for your senseless swearing. He holds you responsible for your intentional doings. Allah is Forgiving, Clement. (Therefore, a marriage will not be dissolved for senseless utterances of the husband or the wife).
2:226 Men who take an oath that they will not approach their wives shall have four months of grace. And if they go back on their oath during these four months, behold, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (They must rethink their decision during this grace period and circumstances might change. Similar rules apply for women, since they have equal rights and obligations, and since no man is permitted to forcibly keep his wife in wedlock against her will as stated later in the Book (2:228, 4:19, 4:21, 4:34, 7:189).
2:227 If they decide upon divorce let them remember that Allah is Hearer, Knower. (They must bear in mind that since marriage is a Solemn Covenant 4:21, divorce can take place only in accordance with this Book of Law).
2:228 After divorce, women shall wait three menstruations before remarriage. There is no waiting period for a woman who is divorced before intimate relations with her husband (33:49). And it is three months if they do not habitually menstruate (65:4). They shall not conceal pregnancy if they believe in Allah and in the Hereafter. In case of pregnancy, their waiting period shall be until delivery (65:4). And during this period their husbands would do better to take them back if both of them desire reconciliation. The husband and the wife have the right to reconcile during this waiting period of the wife. Women, by Ordinance, have rights similar to men. Men, however, do not have a waiting period for remarriage for obvious physiological reasons. That is where men are on a platform different from them. (2:228-234, 4:3, 4:19, 4:35, 4:128, 33:49, 58:1, 65:1-4).
2:229 In a given couple's lifetime, a divorce is permissible twice. (The whole period of divorce i.e. three menstruations / three months, or until delivery can be taken back twice). Then the divorced woman must be retained in honor or released in kindness. She shall be allowed to live in the same home amicably, or leave it amicably. At or after divorce, it is not lawful for you to take back anything of what you have ever given to her. However, if both of you fear that you might (in waves of emotion) transgress the bounds set by Allah, there shall be no blame on either of you for what the wife willingly gives back, whatever she chooses. These are the Limits set by Allah; transgress them not. Whoever transgresses the bounds set by Allah, such are the wrongdoers.
2:230 If a man divorces his wife on a third different time during their marital life, it shall be unlawful for him to remarry her. It may so happen that the woman marries another man, and those two do not get along, and the other husband divorces her. In that case, there is nothing wrong if both (the previous couple) decide to come together again, if they consider that they will be able to observe the Limits set by Allah. These Limits have been made clear for people to make use of the Divine gift of knowledge (and make no crookedness in the Straight Path).
HALALA OR HARAMA? Here comes the most shameful deed unique to the Mullahs in the whole world. They maintain that a woman has to go through HALALA (planned marriage with another man for one night followed by divorce in the morning) even if the husband uttered senseless words pointing to separation or divorce. The Mullahs offer their own "Noble Services" for being the bridegroom for one night and even charge a hefty fee for it! "Authorized" HALALA offices abound in many so-called Muslim countries!
2:231 When you have divorced women, and they have completed their waiting period, then retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. You shall allow them to live in the same home amicably, or let them leave amicably. Do not force them to stay against their will, as revenge. Anyone who does this wrongs his own "Self". Do not make the Revelations of Allah a laughing stock. Remember Allah's Blessings upon you and the Book and Wisdom He has sent down to you in order to enlighten you. Be mindful of Allah's Commands and know that Allah is Aware of all things.
2:232 And when you have divorced women, and they have completed their waiting period, people in the society shall not place difficulties if both of them wish to remarry each other in kindness. And do not place difficulties if the woman decides to marry a different husband upon mutual agreement. This instruction is for all among you who believe in Allah and the Last Day. Following the Commands helps you develop your personality and stay clear of vice. Allah knows, you know not.
THERE IS NO ROOM FOR "KHULA'" (woman going through a court of law begging for divorce, a process that might take years in the "Muslim" societies):
4:19 O You who have chosen to be graced with belief! It is not lawful for you to force women into marrying or holding on to them in marriage against their will. Pressuring women to remain in wedlock by threatening to take away the marital gift is forbidden. A wife could forfeit the right to the marital gift only if she has indulged in clear lewdness. You shall treat your wives nicely. Even if you dislike them, it may happen that Allah has placed much good in what you have failed to realize.

Fate of other Co-Religionist

Q. What is the fate of those people who donot follow Islam and live their life according to other religions?
A. Allah has not created man to live forever on earth. Earthly life is but a test to judge people who are fit to fulfill the purpose of their creation in the eternal next life. Islam was prescribed for them during their stay on earth from the day one, Islam is the only religion acceptable by Allah as all the other ways are either distortions and digressions from Islam or man made isms. Man is not supposed to follow what ever he likes but submit to the will of his creator. It is like a transitional phase for a quality control test by a manufacturer before the product is sent to its final destination. The rejected goods are discarded as wastage. Similarly the rejected lot of the human beings will be thrown into hell which is the waste bin of the real and eternal life Hereafter.
God is one and therefore religion has always been one. In Arabic language it is Islam, while in earlier times it might have been called by other names in different languages. Every prophet of Allah from Adam, Noah, Abraham, Issac, Ismael, Jacob, Moses, David, Solomon, Job, Jonas, John, Jesus and others to the last Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) preached Islam to their followers. While due to the lack of reliable recording means, the Message brought by earlier prophets, could not remain safe from being adultrated knowingly or unknowingly by interested or ignorant followers. The message sent through Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) came at a time just prior to the scientific explosion. The followers committed to memory each and every word with precision till the foolproof methods of recording were invented a short while later. The final version of Islam revealed to the last Prophet Muhammad through Holy Qur’an is thus the only unadultrated Word of God on earth which is to be followed by every sane humanbeing who hears about it.
Islam requires belief in One God without a partner, belief in all the Prophets of Allah, belief in the Day of Judgement and the Life Hereafter besides a prescirbed code of conduct to prepare the man for the life of submission. It is not enough to be a person of good conduct without the basic beliefs in One God, all His Prophets and His Judgement. It is like a man when he is caught as a spy of the enemy, his good conduct and examplary behaviour with other human beings cannot rescue him from being caught and punished. Faithfulness with the Government of the country comes first and his conduct later. Similarly all the good deeds of a person cannot rescue him if he is not faithful to Owner of the Kingdon i.e. God.
Is Secret Marriage Permissible
Q.1. What in the real sense Nikah (marriage) is? Is Nikha only that which a so called Kazi recites infront of every one? Or Nikah is that which a girl and boy confess with their own hearts? I hope you understand what I mean. And if they get involved in sex. Is that sex illicit or illegal? Remember, they have confessed one another as husband and wife infront of Almighty God.
A. The presence of a Qazi is not necessary for a Nikah. The ‘Khutba’ of Nikah is a recommended Sunnah which may be delivered by anyone, even by the groom himself but the ‘Khutba’ is not an essential requisite for a Nikah. However there are other conditions without which a Nikah is not valid. Nikah cannot be solemnised in secret. The Qur’an ordains: “Do not make a secret contract with them ..” (2:235). Although the above order is in context of divorced women in their waiting period, but as they are illegible for marriage after the waiting period, the order can be applied to the unmarried girls as well.
“Ibne Abbas narrated that the Prophet (Pbuh) said: Fornicators are those women who solemnise their Nikah without witnesses.” (Tirmizi)
Imam Tirmizi says, “In this regard there are also narrations of Imran Bin Hiseen, Anas and Abu Hurairah. Sahaba (the holy companions) and Tabi’een (the companions of Sahaba) stand by this. They have all stated that Nikah is not valid without witnesses. Prior to it we are not aware of any dispute therein.” (Tirmizi, Abwabun- Nikah)
The Fiqh scholars do not permit Nikah in secret. Remember, the essence or spirit is not enough when there are conditions or a procedure prescribed for an observance. In Salat, its spirit “Taqwa” is essential but the prescribed procedure has to be gone through.

Procedure for Talaq

Q.2. What is a correct way of pronouncing a Talaq?
A. The procedure prescribed by the Qur’an is following:
a. Appoint mediators from both sides for reproachment.
b. If the mediation fails, the man should pronounce Talaq (once) in clean days of the wife. Talaq should not be given during the days of her period.
c. He should not force her out of the house after the Talaq but care for her, should not tease or harass her and afford her maintenance till the completion of her three normal periods (and in the case of missed periods, for three months and ten days). This is called ‘Iddat’, (waiting period) of Talaq. (The Iddat of a pregnant woman lasts till the baby is delivered).
d. During the waiting period, they should refrain from sex but if they have sex or decide for a reproachment, they can do so and they are again husband and wife. This is called Rujat.
e. If there no “Rujatie reproachment during the waiting period, then the Talaq is enforced. The woman can no longer live with him and the man should see her off in a decent manner with appropriate gifts.
f. A Hadith reported in Abu Dawood insposes the condition of Talaq and Rujat to be made in the presence of (at least two) witnesses.
g. Abud Dawood also reports Hadith which states that there is no Talaq in the state of wrath the fiq’h scholars decree otherwise on the basis of other narrations in the books of Hadith.

Easy Talaq

Q.3. Why Talaq can be so easily given?
A. If by easy Talaq you mean that the Talaq is enforced in a short while by simply pronouncing the word thrice, you may observe in the above question-answer that it is not so. Although a majority of four Sunni Fiq’h scholars opine that Talaq thus pronounced is Haram but valid and they also based their contention on some narrations in the books of Hadith but it may safely be argued that the stand of Ahle-Hadith and Ja’afri Fig’h scholars in this regard is more judicious. Muslim and Abu Dawood have reported Ibne Abbas saying that Triple Talaq of one occasion was considered as on Talaq in the Prophets and Abu Bakar’s time and during the first three years of Umar’s Caliphdom.
It is an accepted principle in Shariat that Hadiths contradictory to Qur’an are not considered correct. In the presence of contradictory narrations, those in consonance with Qur’an are acceptable and others should be rejected. It is significant that among all the procedure based laws, the procedure of Talaq is the single most detailed described procedure in Qur’an. Contravention of the procedure is not only a grave sin and a punishable crime but the Talaq is also invalidated without the proper procedure being adopted.
If by Talaq easily given’, you mean that the husband should not have a right to give divorce on his own without the consent of a judicial authority, the Law of God does not agree with you, Shariah has announced normal deterrents but has not imposed any legal binding upon it. The Qur’an advised.
..”Live with them (the wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good” (4:19)
The Prophet (Pbuh) declared: “Of all permitted acts, Talaq is the most disliked by Allah”. (Abu Dawood)
There are ills in Muslim society due to acceptance of validity of Talaqs which should be invalid but there are much greater evils in other societies where a husband has no way of getting rid of his wife except murdering her or vice versa.

Divorce by Woman

Q.1. In Islam doesn’t a woman have any right to take divorce unilaterally even if her husband is an absolute disgrace, criminal and involved in many crimes? Does she need the consent of such a person for divorce, particularly if she has been misled into marrying him and now she has come to know of his true character and criminal nature and dealings?
2. Is being the wife of a drunkard a sin and what is the way of out of such a marriage for the hapless woman? The man was a drunkard at the time of marriage, which the man’s parents hid from the mother of the girl, a widow. The man’s parents also hid his real occupation, that of Kalasi with a criminal record. The parents of the man also hid the fact that their son already had a non-Muslim woman who has borne him two sons. The Muslim girl works and the in-laws snatch her entire salary leaving her just enough for her bus fare and for fees for her son. The drunkard beats her everyday and even in the morning before she leaves for office. He does not give her any money for anything. The marriage was in 1990. Is such a marriage void because of fraud? what must she do to cut the gordian knot?
A. The surest way of getting out of such situations is foregone by the girls at the time of their marriage itself. The girl or their parents these days should insist on Tafweez-e Talaq at the time of their Nikah. Tafwee-ze-Talaq is a written agreement in presence of witnesses at the time of Nikah that the wife would be subjected to a single Talaq whenever she pronounces taking a Talaq. The wife in a marriage under such agreement would automatically get a Talaq whenever she pronounces it. This remedy at this juncture is not available to the women in question. The marriage is a contract and if it is proved that one of the parties had acted fraudulently, a Qazi, or a Mufti of Darul-Ifta should annul the contract on woman’s appeal after giving due time to the offender to mend his ways, he is not found to do so. But the difficulty is that normally it cannot be proved even after a short while of marriage that the girl or her parents were deceived at the time of marriage.
A Qazi and a Mufti heading a panel is empowered to effect a separation on many other counts also but usually they act so in cases of impotence of the husband or his refusal to provide the wife the maintenance ( If she has no other means of supporting her ) but not for the crimes in questions. In my opinion the wife of a perpetual sinner of the nature in question should get relief of separation by a Qazi or a Mufti heading a panel, in the light of the following verse of Qur’an: “ Women impure are for men impure and men impure for woman impure, and woman of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity..” (24:26)


Marriage and Divorce

63 hadith found in 'Divorce (Kitab Al-Talaq)'
 of Sunan Abu-Dawud.
(Al-NikAh and Al-TalAq)


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Anyone who incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not one of us.  


 Narrated Muharib: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: AbdurRahman ibn Ayman, the client of Urwah, asked Ibn Umar and AbuzZubayr was was listening: What do you think if a man divorces his wife while she is menstruating? He said: Abdullah ibn Umar divorced his wife while she was menstruating during the time of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).So Umar asked the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) saying: Abdullah ibn Umar divorced his wife while she was menstruating. Abdullah said: He returned her to me and did not count it (the pronouncement) anything. He said: When she is purified, he may divorce her or keep her with him. Ibn Umar said: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) recited the Qur'anic verse: O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them in the beginning of their waiting period."  


 Narrated Imran ibn Husayn: Mutarrif ibn Abdullah reported:Imran ibn Husayn was asked about a person who divorces his wife, and then has intercourse with her, but he does not call any witness to her divorce nor to her restoration. He said: You divorced against the sunnah and took her back against the sunnah. Call someone to bear witness to her divorce, and to her return in marriage, and do not repeat it.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Umar ibn Mu'tab reported: AbuHasan, a client of Banu Nawfal asked Ibn Abbas: A slave had a wife who was a slave-girl. He divorced her by two pronouncements. Afterwards both of them were freed. Is it permissible for him to ask her in marriage again? He said: Yes. This is a decision given by the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The aforesaid tradition (No. 2182) has also been transmitted by Ali (ibn al-Mubarak) through a different chain of narrators to the same effect. This version adds: Ibn Abbas said: There remained one more pronouncement of divorce for you. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) took the same decision.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: The divorce of a slave-woman consists in saying it twice and her waiting period is two menstrual courses (qur') AbuAsim said: A similar tradition has been narrated to me by Muzahir and al-Qasim on the authority of Aisha from the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), except that he said: And her waiting period ('iddah) is two courses.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: There is no divorce except in what you possess; there is no possession, there is no sale transaction till you possess. The narrator Ibn as-Sabbah added: There is no fulfilling a vow till you possess.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Muhammad ibn Ubayd ibn AbuSalih who lived in Ayliya said: I went out with Adi ibn Adi al-Kindi till we came to Mecca. He sent me to Safiyyah daughter of Shaybah who remembered a tradition (that she had heard) from Aisha. She said: I heard Aisha say: I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say: There is no divorce or emancipation in case of constraint or duress (ghalaq).  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final)  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs. This means that if a man divorced his wife he had the right to take her back in marriage though he had divorced her by three pronouncements. This was then repealed (by a Qur'anic verse). Divorce is only permissible twice.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Abdu Yazid, the father of Rukanah and his brothers, divorced Umm Rukanah and married a woman of the tribe of Muzaynah. She went to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: He is of no use to me except that he is as useful to me as a hair; and she took a hair from her head. So separate me from him. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) became furious. He called on Rukanah and his brothers. He then said to those who were sitting beside him. Do you see so-and-so who resembles Abdu Yazid in respect of so-and-so; and so-and-so who resembles him in respect of so-and-so? They replied: Yes. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said to Abdu Yazid: Divorce her. Then he did so. He said: Take your wife, the mother of Rukanah and his brothers, back in marriage. He said: I have divorced her by three pronouncements, Apostle of Allah. He said: I know: take her back. He then recited the verse: "O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them at their appointed periods."  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Tawus said: AbusSahba' said to Ibn Abbas: Do you know that a divorce by three pronouncements was made a single one during the time of the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), and of AbuBakr and in the early days of the caliphate of Umar? He replied: Yes.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: Hammad ibn Zayd said: I asked Ayyub: Do you know anyone who narrates the tradition narrated by Al-Hasan about uttering the words (addressing wife). "Your matter is in your hand"? He replied: No, except something similar transmitted by Qatadah from Kathir, the client of Samurah, from AbuSalamah on the authority of AbuHurayrah from the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him). Ayyub said: Kathir then came to us; so I asked him (about this matter). He replied: I never narrated it. I mentioned it to Qatadah who said: Yes (he narrated it) but he forgot.  


 Narrated Rukanah ibn Abdu Yazid: (Rukanah) divorced his wife absolutely; so he came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). He asked (him): What did you intend? He said: A single utterance of divorce. He said: Do you swear by Allah? He replied: I swear by Allah. He said: It stands as you intended.  


 Narrated Tamimah al-Hujayni: A man said to his wife: O my younger sister! The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)said: Is she your sister? He (the Prophet disliked it and prohibited saying so.  


 Narrated Salamah ibn Sakhr al-Bayadi: I was a man who was more given than others to sexual intercourse with women. When the month of Ramadan came, I feared lest I should have intercourse with my wife, and this evil should remain with me till the morning. So I made my wife like my mother's back to me till the end of Ramadan. But one night when she was waiting upon me, something of her was revealed. Suddenly I jumped upon her. When the morning came I went to my people and informed them about this matter. I said: Go along with me to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). They said: No, by Allah. So I went to the Prophet (peace be upon him and informed him of the matter. He said: Have you really committed it, Salamah? I said: I committed it twice, Apostle of Allah. I am content with the Commandment of Allah, the Exalted; so take a decision about me according to what Allah has shown you. He said: Free a slave. I said: By Him Who sent you with truth, I do not possess a neck other than this: and I struck the surface of my neck. He said: Then fast two consecutive months. I said: Whatever I suffered is due to fasting. He said: Feed sixty poor people with a wasq of dates. I said: By Him Who sent you with truth, we passed the night hungry; there was no food in our house. He said: Then go to the collector of sadaqah of Banu Zurayq; he must give it to you. Then feed sixty poor people with a wasq of dates; and you and your family eat the remaining dates. Then I came back to my people, and said (to them): I found with you poverty and bad opinion; and I found with the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) prosperity and good opinion. He has commanded me to give alms to you. Ibn al-Ala' added: Ibn Idris said: Bayadah is a sub-clan of Banu Zurayq.  


 Narrated Khuwaylah, daughter of Malik ibn Tha'labah: My husband, Aws ibn as-Samit, pronounced the words: You are like my mother. So I came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him), complaining to him about my husband. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) disputed with me and said: Remain dutiful to Allah; he is your cousin. I continued (complaining) until the Qur'anic verse came down: "Allah hath heard the words of her who disputeth with thee concerning her husband...." till the prescription of expiation. He then said: He should set free a slave. She said: He cannot afford it. He said: He should fast for two consecutive months. She said: Apostle of Allah, he is an old man; he cannot keep fasts. He said: He should feed sixty poor people. She said: He has nothing which he may give in alms. At that moment an araq (i.e. date-basket holding fifteen or sixteen sa's) was brought to him. I said: I shall help him with another date-basked ('araq). He said: You have done well. Go and feed sixty poor people on his behalf, and return to your cousin. The narrator said: An araq holds sixty sa's of dates.  


 Narrated Urwah: Khawlah was the wife of Aws ibn as-Samit; he was a man immensely given to sexual intercourse. When his desire for intercourse was intensified, he made his wife like his mother's back. So Allah, the Exalted, sent down Qur'anic verses relating to expiation for zihar.  


 Narrated Ikrimah: A man made his wife like the back of his mother. He then had intercourse with her before he atoned for it. He came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and informed him of this matter. He asked (him): What moved you to the action you have committed? He replied: I saw the whiteness of her shins in moon light. He said: Keep away from her until you expiate for your deed.  


 Narrated Thawban: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her.  


 Narrated Habibah, daughter of Sahl al-Ansariyyah: Amrah, daughter of AbdurRahman ibn Sa'd ibn Zurarah, reported on the authority of Habibah, daughter of Sahl al-Ansariyyah: She (Habibah) was the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shimmas. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) came out one morning and found Habibah by his door. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Who is this? She replied: I am Habibah, daughter of Sahl. He asked: What is your case? She replied: I and Thabit ibn Qays, referring to her husband, cannot live together. When Thabit ibn Qays came, the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said to him: This is Habibah, daughter of Sahl, and she has mentioned (about you) what Allah wished to mention. Habibah said: Apostle of Allah, all that he gave me is with me. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said to Thabit ibn Qays: Take it from her. So he took it from her, and she lived among her people (relatives).  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Habibah daughter of Sahl was the wife of Thabit ibn Qays Shimmas He beat her and broke some of her part. So she came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) after morning, and complained to him against her husband. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) called on Thabit ibn Qays and said (to him): Take a part of her property and separate yourself from her. He asked: Is that right, Apostle of Allah? He said: Yes. He said: I have given her two gardens of mine as a dower, and they are already in her possession. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Take them and separate yourself from her.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The wife of Thabit ibn Qays separated herself from him for a compensation. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) made her waiting period a menstrual course.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Barirah was emancipated, and she was the wife of Mughith, a slave of Aal AbuAhmad. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) gave her choice, and said to her: If he has intercourse with you, then there is no choice for you.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Al-Qasim said: Aisha intended to set free two slaves of her who were spouses. She, therefore, asked the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) about this matter. He commanded to begin with the man before the woman. The narrator Nasr said: AbuAli al-Hanafi reported it to me on the authority of Ubaydullah.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A man came after embracing Islam during the time of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). Afterwards his wife came after embracing Islam. He said: Apostle of Allah, she embraced Islam along with me; so restore her to me.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A woman embraced Islam during the time of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him); she then married. Her (former) husband then came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: Apostle of Allah, I have already embraced Islam, and she had the knowledge about my Islam. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) took her away from her latter husband and restored her to her former husband.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) restored his daughter Zaynab to Abul'As on the basis of the previous marriage, and he did not do anything afresh.  

 Narrated Al-Harith ibn Qays al-Asadi: I embraced Islam while I had eight wives. So I mentioned it to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him). The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Select four of them.  


 Narrated Fayruz ad-Daylami al-Yamani: I said: Apostle of Allah, I have embraced Islam and two sisters are my wives. He said: Divorce any one of them you wish.  


 Narrated Rafi' ibn Sinan: AbdulHamid ibn Ja'far reported from his father on the authority of his grandfather Rafi' ibn Sinan that he (Rafi' ibn Sinan) embraced Islam and his wife refused to embrace Islam. She came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: My daughter; she is weaned or about to wean. Rafi' said: My daughter. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said to him: Be seated on a side. And he said to her: Be seated on a side. He then seated the girl between them, and said to them: Call her. The girl inclined to her mother. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: O Allah! guide her. The daughter then inclined to her father, and he took her.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: When the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) ordered a man and his wife to invoke curses on each other, he ordered a man to put his hand on his mouth when he came to the fifth utterance, saying that it would be the deciding one.  


 Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: Hilal ibn Umayyah was one of three people whose repentance was accepted by Allah. One night he returned from his land and found a man with his wife. He witnessed with his eyes and heard with his ears. He did not threaten him till the morning. Next day he went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) in the morning, and said: Apostle of Allah! I came to my wife at night and found a man with her. I saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) disliked what he described and he took it seriously. Thereupon the following Qur'anic verse came down: "And those who make charges against their spouses but have no witnesses except themselves, let the testimony of one of them...." When the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) came to himself (after the revelation ended), he said: Glad tidings for you, Hilal. Allah, the Exalted, has made it easy and, a way out for you. Hilal said: I expected that from my Lord. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Send for her. She then came. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) recited (the verses) to them that the punishment in the next world was more severe than that in this world. Hilal said: I swear by Allah, I spoke the truth against her. She said: He told a lie. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Apply the method of invoking curses on each other. Hilal was told: Bear witness. So he bore witness before Allah four times that he spoke the truth. When he was about to utter a fifth time, he was told: Hilal, fear Allah, for the punishment in this world is easier than that in the next world; and this is the deciding one that will surely cause punishment to you. He said: I swear by Allah. Allah will not punish me for this (act), as He did not cause me to be flogged for this (act). So he bore witness a fifth time invoking the curse of Allah on him if he was one of those who told lies. Then the people said to her: Testify. So she gave testimony before Allah that he was a liar. When she was going to testify a fifth time, she was told: Fear Allah, for the punishment in this world is easier than that in the next world. This is the deciding one that will surely cause punishment to you. She hesitated for a moment, and then said: By Allah, I shall not disgrace my people. So she testified a fifth time invoking the curse of Allah on her if he spoke the truth. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) separated them from each other, and decided that the child would not be attributed to its father. Neither she nor her child would be accused of adultery. He who accused her or her child would be liable to punishment. He also decided that there would be no dwelling and maintenance for her (from the husband), as they were separated without divorce. He then said: If she gives birth to a child with reddish hair, light buttocks, wide belly and light shins, he will be the child of Hilal. If she bears a dusky child with curly hair, fat limbs, fat shins and fat buttock he will be the child of the one who was accused of adultery. She gave birth to a dusky child with curly hair, fat limbs, fat shins and fat buttocks. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Had there been no oaths I should have dealt with her severely. Ikrimah said: Later on he became the chief of the tribe of Mudar. He was not attributed to his father.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: A bedouin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), and said: My wife has given birth to a black son, and I disown him. He then narrated the rest of the tradition to the same effect.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: AbuHurayrah heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say when the verse about invoking curses came down: Any woman who brings to her family one who does not belong to it has nothing to do with Allah (i.e. expects no mercy from Allah), and Allah will not bring her into His Paradise. Allah, the Exalted, will veil Himself from any man who disowns his child when he looks at him, and disgrace him in the presence of all creatures, first and last.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: There is no prostitution in Islam. If anyone practised prostitution in pre-Islamic times, the child will be attributed to the master (of the slave-woman). He who claims his child without a valid marriage or ownership will neither inherit nor be inherited.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) decided regarding one who was treated as a member of a family after the death of his father, to whom he was attributed when the heirs said he was one of them, that if he was the child of a slave-woman whom the father owned when he had intercourse with her, he was included among those who sought his inclusion, but received none of the inheritance which was previously divided; he, however, received his portion of the inheritance which had not already been divided; but if the father to whom he was attributed had disowned him, he was not joined to the heirs. If he was a child of a slave-woman whom the father did not possess or of a free woman with whom he had illicit intercourse, he was not joined to the heirs and did not inherit even if the one to whom he was attributed is the one who claimed paternity, since he was a child of fornication whether his mother was free or a slave.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) entered upon me. The version of Musaddad and Ibn as-Sarh has: one day looking pleased". The version of Uthman has: "The lines of his forehead were realised." He said: O Aisha, are you not surprised to hear that Mujazziz al-Mudlaji saw that Zayd and Usamah had a rug over them concerning their heads and letting their feet appear. He said: These feet are related.  

 Narrated Zayd ibn Arqam: I was sitting with the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him). A man came from the Yemen, and said: Three men from the people of the Yemen came to Ali, quarrelling about a child, asking him to give a decision. They had had sexual intercourse with a woman during a single state of purity. He said to two of them: Give this child to this man (the third person) with pleasure. But they (refused and) cried loudly. Again he said to two of them: Give the child to the man (the third person) willingly. But they (refused and) cried loudly. He then said: You are quarrelsome partners. I shall cast lots among you; he who receives the lot, will acquire the child, and he shall pay two-thirds of the blood-money to both his companions. He then cast lots among them, and gave the child to the one who received the lot. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) laughed so much that his canine or molar teeth appeared.  


 Narrated Zayd ibn Arqam: Three persons were brought to Ali (Allah be pleased with him) when he was in the Yemen. They and sexual intercourse with a woman during a single state of purity. He asked two of them: Do you acknowledge this child for this (man)? They replied: No. He then put this (question) to all of them. Whenever he asked two of them, they replied in the negative. He, therefore, cast a lot among them, and attributed the child to the one who received the lot. He imposed two-third of the blood-money (i.e. the price of the mother) on him. This was then mentioned to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and he laughed so much that his molar teeth appeared.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: A man got up and said: Apostle of Allah, so-and-so is my son; I had illicit intercourse with his mother in the pre-Islamic period. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: There is no unlawful claiming of paternity in Islam. What was done in pre-Islamic times has been annulled. The child is attributed to the one on whose bed it is born, and the fornicator is deprived of any right.  


 Narrated Uthman ibn Affan: Rabah said: My people married me to a Roman slave-girl of theirs. I had intercourse with her, and she gave birth to a black (male) child like me. I named it Abdullah. I again had intercourse with her, and she gave birth to a black (male) child like me. I named it Ubaydullah. Then a Roman slave of my people, called Yuhannah, incited her, and spoke to her in his own unintelligible language. She gave birth to a son like a chameleon (red). I asked her: What is this? She replied: This belongs to Yuhannah. We then brought the case to Uthman (for a decision). I think Mahdi said these words. He inquired from both of them, and they acknowledged (the facts). He then said to them: Do you agree that I take the decision about you, which the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) had taken? The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) decided that the child was to attributed to the one on whose bed it was born. And I think he said: He flogged her and flogged him, for they were slaves.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: A woman said: Apostle of Allah, my womb is a vessel to this son of mine, my breasts, a water-skin for him, and my lap a guard for him, yet his father has divorced me, and wants to take him away from me. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: You have more right to him as long as you do not marry.  


 Narrated AbuHurayrah: Hilal ibn Usamah quoted AbuMaymunah Salma, client of the people of Medina, as saying: While I was sitting with AbuHurayrah, a Persian woman came to him along with a son of hers. She had been divorced by her husband and they both claimed him. She said: AbuHurayrah, speaking to him in Persian, my husband wishes to take my son away. AbuHurayrah said: Cast lots for him, saying it to her in a foreign language. Then her husband came and asked: Who is disputing with me about my son? AbuHurayrah said: O Allah, I do not say this, except that I heard a woman who came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) while I was sitting with him, and she said: My husband wishes to take away my son, Apostle of Allah, and he draws water for me from the well of AbuInabah, and he has been good to me. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Cast lots for him. Her husband said: Who is disputing with me about my son? The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: This is your father and this your mother, so take whichever of them you wish by the hand. So he took his mother's hand and she went away with him.  


 Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: Zayd ibn Harithah went out to Mecca and brought the daughter of Hamzah with him. Then Ja'far said: I shall take her; I have more right to her; she is my uncle's daughter and her maternal aunt is my wife; the maternal aunt is like mother. Ali said: I am more entitled to take her. She is my uncle's daughter. The daughter of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) is my wife, and she has more right to her. Zayd said: I have more right to her. I went out and journeyed to her, and brought her with me. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) came out. The narrator mentioned the rest of the tradition. He (i.e. the Prophet) said: As for the girl, I decided in favour of Ja'far. She will live with her maternal aunt. The maternal aunt is like mother.  


 Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: When we came out from Mecca, Hamzah's daughter pursued us crying: My uncle. Ali lifted her and took her by the hand. (Addressing Fatimah he said:) Take your uncle's daughter. She then lifted her. The narrator then transmitted the rest of the tradition. Ja'far said: She is my uncle's daughter. Her maternal aunt is my wife. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) decided in favour of her maternal aunt, and said: The maternal aunt is like mother.  


 Narrated Asma bint Yazid al-Ansariyyah: Amr ibn Muhajir reported on the authority of his father: Asma', daughter of Yazid ibn as-Sakan al-Ansariyyah, was divorced in the time of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). No waiting period was prescribed for a divorced woman (at that time). When Asma' was divorced, Allah, the Exalted, sent down the injunction of waiting period for divorce. She is the first of the divorced women about whom the verse relating to waiting period was sent down.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three monthly courses; and then said: And for such of your women as despair of menstruation, if ye doubt, their period (of waiting) shall be three months. This was abrogated from the former verse. Again he said: (O ye who believe, if ye wed believing women) and divorce them before ye have touched them, then there is no period that ye should reckon."  

 Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) divorced Hafsah, but he took her back in marriage.  


 Narrated Fatimah daughter of Qays: AbuSalamah reported on the authority of Fatimah daughter of Qays who said to him that she was the wife of AbuHafs ibn al-Mughirah who divorced her by three pronouncements. She said that she came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and sought his opinion about her going out from her house. He commanded her to shift to (the house of )Ibn Umm Maktum who was blind. Marwan denied to confirm the tradition of Fatimah about the going out of a divorced woman from her house. Urwah said: Aisha objected to Fatimah daughter of Qays.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Urwah said: Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) severely objected to the tradition of Fatimah daughter of Qays. She said: Fatimah lived in a desolate house and she feared for her loneliness there. Hence the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) accorded permission to her (to leave the place).  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Urwah ibn az-Zubayr said: Aisha was asked: Did you not see (i.e. known) the statement of Fatimah? She replied: It is not good for her to mention it (to others).  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Al-Qasim ibn Muhammad and Sulayman ibn Yasar reported: Yahya ibn Sa'id ibn al-'As divorced the daughter of AbdurRahman ibn al-Hakam absolutely. AbdurRahman shifted her (from there). Aisha sent a message to Marwan ibn al-Hakam who was the governor of Medina, and said to him: Fear Allah, and return the woman to her home. Marwan said (according to Sulayman's version): AbdurRahman forced me. Marwan said (according to the version of al-Qasim): Did not the case of Fatimah daughter of Qays reach you? Aisha replied: There would be no harm to you if you did not make mention of the tradition of Fatimah. Marwan said: If you think that it was due to some evil (i.e. reason), then it is sufficient for you to see that there is also an evil between the two.  


 Narrated Umm Salamah ; Umm Habibah ; Zaynab bint Jahsh: Humayd ibn Nafi' reported the following three traditions on the authority of Zaynab, daughter of AbuSalamah: Zaynab said: I visited Umm Habibah when her father AbuSufyan, died. She asked for some yellow perfume containing saffron (khaluq) or something else. Then she applied it to a girl and touched her cheeks. She said: I have no need of perfume, but I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say: It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to observe mourning for one who has died, more than three nights, except for four months and ten days in the case of a husband. Zaynab said: I also visited Zaynab, daughter of Jahsh, when her brother died. She asked for some perfume and used it upon herself. She then said: I have no need of perfume, but I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say when he was on the pulpit: It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to observe mourning for one who has died, more than three nights, except for four months and ten days in the case of a husband. Zaynab said: I heard my mother, Umm Salamah, say: A woman came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and said: Apostle of Allah, the husband of my daughter has died, and she is suffering from sore eyes; may we put antimony in her eyes? The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: No. He said this twice or thrice. Each time he said: No. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: The waiting period is now four months and ten days. In pre-Islamic days one of you used to throw away a piece of dung at the end of a year. Humayd said: I asked Zaynab: What do you mean by throwing away a piece of dung at the end of a year. Zaynab replied: When the husband of a woman died, she entered a small cell and put on shabby clothes, not touching perfume or any other thing until a year passed. Then an animal such as donkey or sheep or bird was provided for her. She rubbed herself with it. The animal with which she rubbed herself rarely survived. She then came out and was given a piece of dung which she threw away. She then used perfume or something else which she desired.  


 Narrated Furay'ah, daughter of Malik ibn Sinan: Zaynab, daughter of Ka'b ibn Ujrah narrated that Furay'ah daughter of Malik ibn Sinan, told her that she came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him whether she could return to her people, Banu Khidrah, for her husband went out seeking his slaves who ran away. When they met him at al-Qudum, they murdered him. So I asked the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him): "Should I return to my people, for he did not leave any dwelling house of his own and maintenance for me? She said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) replied: Yes. She said: I came out, and when I was in the apartment or in the mosque, he called for me, or he commanded (someone to call me) and, therefore, I was called. He said: what did you say? So I repeated my story which I had already mentioned about my husband. Thereupon he said: Stay in your house till the term lapses. She said: So I passed my waiting period in it (her house) for four months and ten days. When Uthman ibn Affan became caliph, he sent for me and asked me about that; so I informed him, and he followed it and decided cases accordingly.  


 Narrated Umm Salamah, Ummul Mu'minin: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: A woman whose husband has died must not wear clothes dyed with safflower (usfur) or with red ochre (mishq) and ornaments. She must not apply henna and collyrium.  


 Narrated Umm Salamah, Ummul Mu'minin: Umm Hakim, daughter of Usayd, reported on the authority of her mother that her husband died and she was suffering from sore eyes. She therefore applied collyrium (jala'). Ahmad said: The correct version is "glittering collyrium (kuhl al-jala'). She sent her slave-girl to Umm Salamah, and she asked her about the use of glittering collyrium (kuhl al-jala'). She said: Do not apply it except in the case of dire need which is troubling you. In that case you can use it at night, but you should remove it in the daytime. Then Umm Salamah said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) came to visit me when AbuSalamah died, and I had put the juice of aloes in my eye. He asked : What is this, Umm Salamah? I replied: It is only the juice of aloes and contains no perfume. He said: It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye. I asked: What should I use when I comb myself, Apostle of Allah? He said: Use lote-tree leaves and smear your head copiously with them.  


 Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: I can invoke the curse of Allah on anyone who wishes: The smaller surat an-Nisa (i.e. Surat at-Talaq) was revealed after the verse regarding the waiting period of four months and ten days had been revealed.  

 Narrated Amr ibn al-'As: Do not confuse us about his Sunnah. Ibn al-Muthanna said: The Sunnah of our Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) is that the waiting period of a slave-mother whose husband has died is four months and ten days.  


 Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) was asked about a man who divorced his wife three times, and she married another who entered upon her, but divorced her before having intercourse with her, whether she was lawful for the former husband. She said: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) replied: She is not lawful for the first (husband) until she tastes the honey of the other husband and he tastes her honey.  


 Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: Musaykah, a slave-girl of some Ansari, came and said: My master forces me to commit fornication. Thereupon the following verse was revealed: "But force not your maids to prostitution (when they desire chastity)."

Women After Marriage - Part I 

Page Content: Part 1-Part 2-Part 3-Part 4- Part 5

The Institution of Marriage
The Quranic point of view with regard to the institution of marriage is based on the following principles and laws:
Interdependence of man and woman in ensuring fullness of life for each other through mutual affection, mutual confidence and mutual protection, as husband and wife has been stressed by using a metaphor of profound beauty: "They are a garment unto you and you are a garment unto them" (2:187)
For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation. The Quran says: "Marry those among you who are single, and the pious among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His Grace: Allah is of ample means, and He is aware of all things." (24: 32)
Contrast it with the attitude of those religions, which advocate celibacy and idolize it as the ideal of perfection, considering sexual satisfaction even in the bond of marriage as a positive evil from the spiritual point of view. Thus, in Christianity: "As an institution, Jesus regards marriage as essentially physical and intended only for the present age. Those who were to share in the blessings of the eschatological kingdom would neither marry nor be given in marriage but would be possessed of the non-physical body in the resurrection." [1].
It was this outlook on sex which led to the rule that no man or woman, married or unmarried, who had performed the sex act the previous night, should take part in a Church festival or in the Eucharist. [2].
Christianity, writes the Sociologist Ludovici, "preaches that sex is to be deplored, to be avoided, and, if possible, negatived. And the Puritan, who may be regarded as the extreme Christian, is notorious for his implacable loathing of sex." [3]
Marriage is a social contract. The word Nikah, used for marriage in the Holy Quraan, originally means Aqd, according to Imam Raaghib Asfahaani [4] (alaihir rahmah). Thus, the very word Nikah implies that marriage is a social contract, and not a sacrament, although it is a sacred contract. Moreover, the Quraanic permission to terminate the relation of marriage, if it becomes absolutely impossible for the husband and the wife to continue that relation, proves that the Quraan regards marriage as a social contract only.
Women are not to be treated as property [5]. The Quraan says: "O ye who believe! You are forbidden to inherit (as property) the women against their will." (4:19)
Marriage with persons of certain categories has been prohibited. The Holy Quraan has prohibited marriage with all those who may stand in the relations of consanguinity, or affinity, or fosterage. Almighty Allah states; "Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters and sisters and your father's sisters and mother's sisters and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your mothers who have such to you and your foster sisters and the mothers of your wives and daughters (your step-daughters) who are in your care from the wives with whom you had intercourse but if you had no intercourse with them, then there is no Haraam in their daughters, and the wives of your sons who are of your loins and to have two sisters together except what has already passed [6]. Undoubtedly, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (4: 23)
Choosing a Husband
Islam has established that every marriage must be preceded by the consent of the woman who is to be married, whether she is a virgin or a woman who had a previous marriage. Her consent must be obtained before her father or the guardian can act for her in any marriage contract.
Indeed, when a marriage is conducted, the government registrar or other official or the Qaadi must satisfy himself that he has the woman's full agreement. If someone is acting for her as her guardian, the Qaadi will ask him to produce two witnesses who testify that she has authorized him to act for her in this marriage. Several Hadith tell us that a previously married woman has more authority over herself than her guardian. A virgin must be asked concerning her marriage. Her consent may be given by keeping quiet. [7] The distinction here between a previously married woman and a virgin is merely in the form of how consent is granted. A virgin may be too shy to state in words that she accepts to be married, while a previously married woman has learned practically that there is nothing to be shy about in marriage.
After the girl attains adulthood, her parents should find a good match and marry her. During the matchmaking exercise, the parents should abstain from establishing matrimonial relations with families of wrongdoers like Wahabis, Deobandis, Shi'ites, Ahl-e-Hadith [8], etc. They should give the hand of their daughter into the hand of a Sunni boy who sincerely follows the Sharee'ah and the ways of the Ahle-Sunnah wa Jama'at [9].
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: See four things before marrying a woman:
Status of the family,
Physical looks and
The Holy Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) added that religiousness should be given priority at the time of matchmaking. Marriage fulfils the purpose of expanding the generation. It also saves man from illicit relations with other women. Nikah carries high rewards.
A Hadith says: It is written in the Torah, "If a man's daughter attains the age of twelve and he does not arrange her wedding and if the girl gets involved in immoral activities, the father will be punished for the sins of his daughter."
Another Hadith says: The Apostle of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "Allah the Almighty has taken the responsibility of helping three persons:
The slave who pledges to pay an amount to his master to get freedom and has total conviction to fulfill the pledge.
One who fights in the way of Allah.
The man or women who intends to go for marriage to avoid illicit relations with the opposite sex."
Forced Marriage is not acceptable
The idea of a woman being forced into a marriage against her own wishes is not acceptable from the Islamic point of view. A woman came to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) and complained that her father had married her to his nephew without asking her consent first. She stated that the purpose of that marriage was that her father wanted his reputation enhanced through that marriage. The Glorious Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) annulled that marriage. When he had done so, and the woman was free again, she said to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam): Now I am free. I willingly consent to this marriage. I only wanted it to be known that men have no say over
women in their marriages.
It is often thought that because a father acts for his daughter in marriage, he can marry her to whomever he likes, without seeking her consent. People, who suggest this, make a very superficial judgment. By requiring a father or a guardian to act for the woman in her marriage, Islam emphasizes the woman's honor. Marriage in Islam is the way to establish a family, and this is conducted through families. Therefore, the woman appears to have the consent of her family to her own marriage. She does not appear as the weaker party in a civil contract.
There is no rigid process of choosing a husband. If a man proposes to a family seeking to marry one of their daughters, then he must have based his choice on either first hand knowledge or proper investigation. Similarly, if the woman's family makes the approach, then it must be based on a good knowledge of the man and his character.
As we all know, Islam does not permit the sort of free-mixing between the sexes, which is known in Western societies. If some aspects of that social mixing is practiced among certain sections of society in Muslim countries, then that is something Islam disallows. In a certain situation, a woman is able to know the character and nature of a man and she feels, on the basis of her knowledge, that he can make her a very good husband. It is perfectly conceivable that a woman can acquire such knowledge of a man, either because he is her colleague at work, or because she has had a chance to see him acting in different situations. Such knowledge would enable her to understand his character and to find out that he can be a good family man.
When a woman has known such a man and wishes to marry him, she should speak to her family about it. Her father or guardian will take over and speak to the man either directly or through intermediaries. All this is appropriate. What is not appropriate from the Islamic point of view is that the woman should try to get the man into a love relationship with her as it happens in films or in Western societies.
If a woman selects a man as her future husband and he is considered to be good for her from the social point of view, then the father is required to facilitate her marriage.
Sayyidah Hafsah bint Omar (radi Allahu anha), Sayyiduna Omar's - radi Allahu anhu daughter, became a widow when her husband, Khunais bin Huthafah (radi Allahu anhu), who was a companion of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), passed away in Madinatul Munawwara Munawwara. Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) reports: I went to Uthman bin Affaan (radi Allahu anhu) and offered him Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) saying, If you wish, I will give you Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) as a wife. He said, I will consider the matter. I waited for a few days, then Uthman (radi Allahu anhu) met me and said, I have considered the matter and I do not wish to be married now.
Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) goes on in his report: I then met Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and said, If you wish, I will give you Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) in marriage. Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) kept quiet and gave no answer whatsoever. I felt more aggrieved with him than I was with Uthman (radi Allahu anhu). After a few days, Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) proposed to marry Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) and I gave her away in marriage to him. I then met Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and he said, You might have felt something against me when you offered me Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) and I gave no reply. I answered in the affirmative. He said, What prevented me from answering your proposal was that I had learned that Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) had expressed his wish to marry her. I am not one who reveals the Prophet's (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) secret.
Witnesses are necessary in Nikah
Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is quoted to have said: "No marriage may be made without the presence of the woman's guardian and two responsible witnesses."
The majority of Ulama concur that a woman may not give herself away in marriage, but her guardian (as a representing Wakeel) must act on her behalf by the virtue of her permission in her Nikah to a man. Nor can she give an authority to anyone else to act for her in marriage. Moreover, a woman cannot act (as a Wakeel) for another woman in a marriage contract. (That is to say: even a mother cannot.)
As for the person who should be her guardian for marriage purposes, there is no doubt that it is her father. If he is available, then no one else may act for her. If her father is not available, either because he is dead or mentally deranged, then her paternal grandfather or great grandfather may act for her. If she has no father or grandfather, her brother will act for her or any family elder as agreed by the family and woman.
It should be said that the condition of a guardian to act for a woman in her marriage does not detract from her the ability or the qualification to make the right choice. Indeed, any such guardian should have her consent before he goes ahead with the marriage arrangements. His presence is required not as a witness but as her representative. This is an aspect of the honorable position that Islam assigns to women. Moreover, it reflects on the seriousness with which Islam views marriage. It is a family matter, which is conducted by families. Moreover, when family represents the woman, this is more conducive to ensuring that her husband respects her rights. Besides, the nature of society Islam builds is one in which the woman normally takes her natural position, looking after the future generation. That is bound to limit her social activities a little. Her judgment of people, especially of men and their characters may, as a result, needs to be supplemented by that of other men in her family.
If a woman marries herself away without the presence of her father or appointed guardian, then her marriage is invalid because there no witnesses as required by the Sharee'ah. The Beloved Habeeb (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is quoted to have said: "A woman does not marry another woman away and a woman does not marry herself away. Only an adulteress gives herself away in marriage." [10]
Sayyiduna Imam Ahmad (alaihir rahmah) and Abu Da'ood relate on the authority of Sayyidah Ayesha (radi Allahu anha) that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Any woman who marries herself away without the consent of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, invalid, invalid!" [11]
Thus we are to understand that the Sharee'ah requires one to announce Nikah either in public or in the presence of witnesses so that the Muslim society does not fall into any doubt about the legitimate relation of two individuals.
A woman, until she gets married, is called the daughter of her parents. After the marriage, she becomes somebody's wife. Now she has much more responsibilities and duties than ever. She has to fulfill additional duties towards her husband. She should be sincere and faithful to her husband and serve him with utmost dedication.
[1] Hastings, Dictionary of the Bible, II, p.138
[2] Scott: History of Prostitution, pp.72, and 73
[3] Woman, p.5
[4] Refer Mufradaat-ul-Qur'an by Imam Raaghib Asfahaani; Aqd means contract
[5] A woman in marriage is not a slave but a partner in trust which should not be abused in any way. They should the coolness of the husband's eye and likewise, the wife should not do things to offend the husband and become a thorn in his eye.
[6] To have two blood sisters in marriage at the same time is Haraam in Islam. One may marry another sister only after the death of one.
[7] Nisaai, Ibn-e-Majah
[8] The corrupted Sects that have deviated from Islam due to their false Aqaa'id.
[9] The Group of Salvation or the Majority Group about whom Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said would enter Jannah.
[10] This Hadith Shareef refers to those who marry in secrecy without any witnesses. This is forbidden in Islam as such secrecy creates great doubts in the Muslim society and the identity of the child.
[11] This Hadith Shareef supports the above Hadith Shareef.

Women After Marriage - Part 2

The Holy Quraan says: "So the righteous women are obedient (to Allah and submissive to their husbands), and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (i.e., their chastity and the prestige and property of the husband)" (4: 34)
As a wife, side by side with enjoying equal fundamental human rights, a woman has been placed one degree below the husband in the matter of administering the affairs of the family. The Quraan says: "but men have a degree (of advantage) over them" (2:228)
For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation. The Quran says: "Marry those among you who are single, and the pious among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His Grace: Allah is of ample means, and He is aware of all things." (24: 32)
Compare this with the following verdicts of the exponents of modern scientific thought on this problem.
Says Nemilov: "Man, perhaps even down to the protein molecules of his tissue cells, is biologically different from woman. From the very moment of sex formation in the embryo, the biological ducting of the sexes develops along entirely divergent paths. We must recognize the unquestionable existence of the biological inequality of the sexes. It goes deeper and is of far greater import than it would appear to those not familiar with natural science." [1]
The desires and conduct of the two sexes, says Mercier, "are not similar but are complementary and reciprocal. In courtship the male is active: his role is to court, to pursue, to possess, to control, to protect, to love. The role of a female is passive. Consequent on this fundamental difference are certain others. For pursuit, greater ardor is necessary than for mere reception; and the courting activity of the male is, throughout the whole animal kingdom, more ardent than that of the female; and this greater ardor is connected with certain other differences." [2].
Julian Huxley observes: "I venture to prophesy not only that the inherent differences between the sexes will not tend to diminish in the course of evolution but that man will continue, as now and in the past, to emphasize them by custom and convention." [3]
It should, however, be clearly kept in mind that, in the Quraanic teaching, the husband and the wife stand in complementary relation to each other, and never in the relation of the ruler and the ruled. The Quraan enjoins upon men: "They (women) are your garments and you are their garments." (2:187)
In the presence of the husband, the Holy Quraan has not chosen her to function as the head of the family, because owing to his masculine constitution and appropriate mental make-up, the husband is better equipped to earn livelihood for the family, to bear the physical strains, and to avert dangers to the family in general. The Holy Quraan refers to these functions of the husband when, speaking of his role for the wife. It says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they spend of their wealth (for supporting them and other members of the family)." (4: 34)
Of course, the husband has to administer the family jointly with the wife, according to the Quraanic Law: "(Believers are those) who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation (and not arbitrarily)." (42: 38)
As a follower of the Quraan, it is only in extreme cases that the husband may differ irreconcilably with the wife. But, then too, he cannot transgress the bounds of justice and mercy of the Holy Quraan, which commands him to be always just, merciful and considerate.
The second position of the wife as administrator is, thus, not a source of suffering for her but a source of strength and a blessing.
Every woman must obey the legitimate commands of her husband. Appeasement of husband is a great virtue while the displeasure of the husband carries heavy prosecution. The Holy Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "If I were to command humans to prostrate before anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded the women to bow down before their husbands."
The Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said: "If a woman dies in a state that her husband is happy with her, she would enter the Paradise".
The Glorious Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said: "When the husband calls his wife for some work, she should immediately attend his call even if she may be sitting by the side of her hearth (for cooking)". The Hadith means that the wife should give top priority to attend to her husband.
Another Hadith says: "If a husband says to his wife to transform a yellow mountain into a black one or turn a black mountain into a white one, she should obey his orders". The Hadith means that the woman should try to perform the hardest of the hard job assigned by her husband.
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Allah's Angels curse the woman throughout the night whose husband calls her to bed but she refuses and the husband goes to sleep in anger".
Relations between husband and wife have been conceived as based on mutual cooperation, love and compassion. The Holy Quraan says: "And among His Signs is this that He created your mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (30: 21)
It means that: -
marriage is essentially a spiritual bond of union, rather than a mere physical relationship;
marriage should be contracted with the firm resolve of maintaining the relation for life;
Monogamy should be ideal, because that is the ideal condition in which mutual cooperation, the common man can practice harmony and love normally and smoothly.
The Holy Quraan has permitted polygamy on humanitarian grounds, under exceptional circumstances, and with severe restrictive conditions. The only Quraanic verse which contains the permission for polygamous marriage, says: "And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry of the women who seem good to you, two and three and four; and if you fear that (in case of having more wives than one) you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then (marry) only one (free woman) or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice." (4: 3)
'Polygamy', says Roberts, "was the rule among the Eastern peoples before Mohammad's time." [4]
Important points, worthy of being carefully noted are:
This verse doe not enjoin polygamy, but only permits it.
Unrestricted polygamy, which had been rampant among the pre-Quraanic Arabs and many other nations of the world, has been restricted to the maximum four. Fixing the maximum at four seems to be based on the natural law relating to monthly courses, whereby the husband can do justice in respect of conjugal relations even if he has the maximum of four wives.
The permission relates to situations of emergency, and not to normal conditions of life and society. This verse was revealed after the Battle of Uhud, which gave rise to a situation of emergency. Appreciable numbers of Muslim men were killed in the battle, leaving behind orphans and widows, and giving rise to many adult females. Also, there were some women captives of war. Polygamy was prescribed for those who were Allah-fearing and whose sole mission in life was spiritual refinement and pursuit of Divine Pleasure. Notice the conditional clause about orphans, introducing the rules about marriage. This reminds us of the immediate occasion of the promulgation of this verse. It was after the Battle of Uhud, when the Muslim community was left with many orphans and widows, and some captives of war. Their treatment was to be governed by principles of the greatest humanity and equality. The occasion is past, but the principles remain. Marry the orphan if you are quite sure that you will in that way protect their interests and their property, with perfect justice to them and to your own dependants, if you have any. If not, make other arrangements for the orphans.
The permission is based, not on considerations of lust, nor on any benefit accruing to the marrying male, but on the principle of sacrifice - of providing protection and support to orphans, while undergoing a severe tension of dealing with all the wives.
The permission is conditioned by one's ability to deal equitably with his wives, which even at the formal level is an extremely difficult condition to fulfill except for those who are thoroughly disciplined, stick to spiritual and moral values above everything else, and enter into marriage for spiritual considerations - for the sake of obtaining Divine Pleasure.
Thus, this verse, instead of inducing the men to practice polygamy, recommends to them monogamy.
Finally, looking at the Quraanic permission for polygamy with an unbiased mind, every rational person is bound to be convinced that in situations of emergency, namely, whenever there is an abundance of females - as it happens after the wars - and whenever there is the problem of the uncared for and unsolicited widows and orphans, it becomes a moral duty of Allah-fearing people to practice polygamy, whereby alone the individuals can be saved from disaster and the community can escape the horrors of prostitution.
There is, wrote Dr. Annie Besant, the renowned English leader of the Theosophical Movement, "pretended monogamy in the West, but there is really a polygamy without responsibility; the 'mistress' is cast out to be the woman of the street, for the first lover has no responsibility for her future and she is a hundred times worse off than the sheltered wife and mother in the polygamous home. When we see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman, to live in polygamy, united to one man only, with the legitimate child in her arms, and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced, cast out into the street perhaps with an illegitimate child outside the pale of law unsheltered and uncared for, to become the victim of any passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood, despised by all." [5]
The Holy Quraan repudiates polyandry (or, plurality of husbands) and the Hindu custom of Niyoga (or, loaning the wife to another person for getting an issue), and the custom of exchanging wives practiced by certain savage tribes.[6]
Temporary conjugal relations are prompted purely by lust, and in no case for establishing that sublime spiritual relation between man and woman, which alone can form the basis of building up the family. Therefore, the Holy Quraan disallows temporary and compassionate marriages. It says: "Except for these (prohibited relations), all others (i.e., other women) are lawful, provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property (as dower-money), desiring chastity (in permanent companionship), not lust (in any form of temporary marriage)" (4: 24)
The wife has several duties towards her husband. Following are some very important duties:
The wife should not go out of the house without the permission of her husband. She should seek prior permission of her husband to visit her relatives and friends.
It obligatory on her part to safeguard her husband's house and other properties in his absence. She should not allow anybody to enter the house without her husband's permission. She should not give her husband's minor or major belongings to anybody without his permission.
She should not indulge in any activity that her husband may dislike.
She should look after his children carefully.
She should keep herself and her house clean. She should decorate herself with ornaments and suitable make-up to attract the attention of her husband and to win over his love and affection. A Hadith says: "Best is that woman who comforts her husband by her good looks and loving gestures and fulfils the pledge of her husband and plays the role of a guardian and a well-wisher in safeguarding her chastity and the belongings of her husband in his absence."

Women After Marriage - Part 3

There are various incidents in our society when the husband refuses to allow his wife to visit her parents. What right does a man think he has over his wife's feelings and duties to stop her from seeing her parents. Does he, by chance, think that by marrying her he has come to own her. Does he put her in the same category or the same relationship to a goat he buys. If so, he is certainly mistaken. From the Islamic point of view, the relationship between a man and his wife is one between two human beings of equal status. Each of them has certain duties, but neither of them can negate the independent personality of the other.
It is simply unacceptable from the Islamic point of view that a husband should consider that the marriage divides his wife's life into two separate stages and that each stage is completely isolated from the other. If he tries to impose this situation, then he will have a wife who is disillusioned, broken-hearted and totally lacking in the ability to impart to her children the proper values of kindness to family relations and dutifulness to parents. How could she, when she herself is denied the right to maintain her relationship with her parents.
The fact is that dutifulness to parents is a duty imposed by Allah on all children, boys and girls, men and women, single or married. This dutifulness does not stop at any particular stage in anyone's existence. It extends throughout the parents, and the children's lives. Being dutiful to one's parents is not considered to have been completed when they die. Their children are required to continue to show dutifulness to them by showing respect and kind treatment to their friends and relatives, supplicating on their behalf, praying to Allah to have mercy on them, reciting the Holy Quraan and giving Sadaqah or charitable donations on their behalf, etc. When parents have such a claim against their children, how is it possible that a husband prevents his wife from visiting her parents.
If he does, then he is certainly unjust to her, unless he has a very good reason for his action that can only be imagined in isolated cases. A man should consider what his feelings would be like if her unreasonable husband prevented his sister from seeing their parents. He should extend to his wife the same treatment he would like to see extended to his dearest sister.
If an elderly couple has only daughters and they all are married, and the couple needs to be looked after, then their daughters should try their best to look after them. Islam does not accept that such elderly parents should be abandoned simply because their daughters are married.
If a husband threatens his wife with divorce for visiting her parents, he is unjust to her and to them. Injustice is forbidden in Islam. Almighty Allah says in a Qudsi Hadith: "My servants, I have forbidden injustice and have made injustice forbidden to you. Do not be unjust to one another."
Nor is it permissible for a Muslim to obey anyone encouraging him to be unjust to his wife, not even his parents. If your parents insist that you treat your wife harshly or unjustly, you should realize that injustice represents disobedience to Almighty Allah. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) says: "No creature may be obeyed in what constitutes disobedience to the Creator."
The Best Wife
The best wife is she,
Who considers attending her husband as her foremost duty.
Who never leaves any requirement of her husband unfulfilled.
Who appreciates the merits of her husband and neglects his demerits.
Who takes pains in comforting her husband.
Who does not put any demand before her husband that is beyond his capacity and leads a life of contentment.
Who never looks at strange and unknown men nor allows them to look at her.
Who lives in Pardah and keeps her chastity safe.
Who safeguards the wealth, the property and other belongings of her husband including herself.
Who proves her dedication to her husband by sacrificing everything to salvage her husband from any calamity.
Who keeps patience over the atrocities inflicted to her by her husband.
Who is looked upon respectfully both in her father's house and in her husband's house.
Who is humble and kind to the neighbors and whose humility everyone appreciates.
Who carries out her religious duties with punctuality and fulfills the rights of the Creator and creatures.
Who tolerates with cool mind the bitterness of the members of her husband's family.
Who first feeds the other members of the house and eats herself in the last.
Conflict with mother-in-law
This is one of the darkest chapters in human history. The conflict between mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law has been a centuries old tradition. Almost every house faces this crisis. How surprising is the matter that the mother brings up her son with utmost care and love. She longs for her son to grow up soon and when the son reaches his youth, she as the mother sets out to choose a suitable bride for her son. In the process of matchmaking she insists on the most beautiful girls of the world to be her daughter-in-law.
But when that most beautiful girl leaves her father's house and enters her new house, the mother of her husband suddenly appears as an avowed enemy. The reason of this conflict is purely a psychological one. The mother, who has been reigning over this house for the last so many years, suddenly finds that a new woman has come to share not only the monopolistic authority of this house but also the love and affection of her son. The newcomer woman not only diverts the attention of her father-in- law but also the attention of other male members of the house. The son also gets more involved in her newly-wed lady than his mother. He does not call her mother for attending his requirements. The father-in-law also gets immense pleasure to call his daughter-in-law for his needs. This becomes unbearable for the old lady and she develops a feeling of jealousy against the new comer. Gradually, this feeling takes the shape of severe hatred. The newcomer lady is quite young and enthusiastic in her approach to life. She wants to bring about some innovation in the old style of the house. The mother cannot tolerate this as she thinks that the house still belongs to her. She is not prepared for being neglected by the members of the family. Thus, starts a cold war between the old lady and the new lady. Slowly and quite unknowingly the entire house gets involved in this conflict.
The only way to end this conflict is that all the parties of this conflict - the mother, her son and the daughter-in-law should appreciate their respective rights and duties.
How the Mother-in Law should behave
Every mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as her own daughter. If the daughter-in-law, due to her inexperience, commits a mistake, she should not be rebuked or admonished. Rather, the mother-in-law should gently teach her the correct way of doing things. The old mistress of the house should always bear in mind that this new lady has come to this house by leaving her parents and relatives and friends. She is facing a new environment here with so many strange faces around. The old lady should come forward and become a useful companion of the new comer. She should accept the wife of her son as her own daughter. Once this relationship develops between the two ladies, the house will surely turn into a heaven on earth.
How the Daughter-in-Law should behave
Every daughter-in-law should treat her mother-in-law as her own mother. She should pay due respect to her, obey her commands and attend to her needs. If the old mistress of the house rebukes her on some matters, she should not answer back. Similarly, she should treat her father-in-law as her own father and look after his requirements. During the lifetime of her husband's parents, she should never think of dividing the family by raising the demand of a separate house for herself and her husband. She should be kind to other ladies in her husband's family such as the wives of her husband's elder and younger brothers. She should be friendly with the sisters of her husband.
How the son should behave
The son should treat his bride with love and kindness. But at the same time, he should not neglect his parents. He should show the same vigor in loving his parents as was before his marriage. He should not make his mother feel that her authority has been minimized following the arrival of a new lady member. He should carry out all transactions through his mother. He should also instruct his bride not to undertake any work without the permission of his parents. This would give the mother a confidence that she is still the mistress of the house and both the son and the daughter-in-law have allegiance to her authority.

Women After Marriage - Part 4

The Rights of the Wife
Almighty Allah has prescribed certain rights of the husband towards their wives. The Holy Quraan says: "The women have almost the same rights over men as men have certain rights over the women in kindness."
Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Best among you are those who behave well with the women." [1] 
The Prophet of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said: "I make a Wasiyyat to you about the women, so obey my will." [2] 
In another Hadith, the Beloved Habeeb (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is reported to have said: "No believing man should have enmity and hatred against a believing woman. If he dislikes certain habits of that woman, there would certainly be some virtues in her too." [3] 
The Hadith means that the woman must be having both good and bad habits. Man should not always point out her bad habits only. He should also appreciate her good habits.  
There are certain obligations that men owe to the women and these obligations should be fully appreciated.  
Every husband has the obligation to provide for the sustenance of his wife. She should be provided with adequate food, a comfortable home, suitable clothes and other basic amenities of life. He should always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from her parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends and has joined him to share all the ups and downs of life. Hence, it has become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts.
It should be remembered that husbands, who never bother for the sustenance of their wives, commit a severe crime of depriving Allah's creatures of their rights. Such people would be dealt with severely in the Court of Allah. The Holy Quraan says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means." (4:34)
The husband should satisfy his wife's physical needs. The Sharee'ah has not prescribed any limit for this. But, he has to ensure that woman's minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain men who, after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives. Such people are great sinners and will be severely convicted in the Court of Allah. Almighty Allah has granted women the right to conjugal relations with their husbands. The importance of this right can be well understood by the following example of Ameerul Mohmineen Sayyiduna Omar al-Farouk (radi Allahu anhu): It is reported that he was on his routine inspection round at night in Madinatul Munawwara when he heard an old lady moaning and reciting melancholic couplets. The Caliph stopped there and listened to the wailing lady. He investigated the matter and came to know that the husband of the woman had gone for Jihad long time ago and this woman has been remembering her husband with these sad couplets. The Ameer was deeply moved and immediately issued an official Decree to all chiefs of his army that no married man should be away from his wife for more than four months. [4]
The husband should not beat up his wife without her committing a most severe crime. The Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Nobody should beat up his wife as he does beat up his slave. He should make love with her later some time." [5]
However, if the woman commits a bigger crime, the husband can beat her not in vengeance but with the intention of reforming her and as a warning. While beating, he should take care that she should not be hurt seriously. The Books of Fiqhah have mentioned that the husband can punish his wife for four things:
If the husband orders his wife to decorate herself with ornaments and legitimate make-up but she disobeys and remains dirty.
If the husband invites her to bed and she refuses without any legitimate reason.
If she does not take bath to purify herself after menses.
If she abstain from performing Salaah without a legitimate reason
In the above circumstances, the husband should first persuade the wife. If she does not agree to comply with his requests, he may threaten her. If she still does not obey him, he can beat her barring her face. He should not beat her so severely to the extent of a fracture or a severe wound. 
In order to bring peace and prosperity in the married life, both the wife and the husband should take care of each others sentiments and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife nothing but tension, depression and confusion. Similarly, the anger of the wife brings to the husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture, frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore, advisable to both husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.
The husband should never appreciate the beauty and other merits of strange woman in front of his wife. This may lead to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think that her husband has some illicit relations with that woman. This thought is a poison that kills matrimonial relations. If a man cannot tolerate that his wife should wrongly be associated with another man, the wife also cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband. The woman cannot listen to praise and admiration of another woman through the lips of her husband even if that another woman happens to be his mother or sister or some other close relative.
Man is, undoubtedly, made a ruler over the woman but it does not mean that he should ask her to do a work, which is beyond her capacity, or a work which she would not like to do. If the husband still insists his wife to do the work against her will, she would accomplish that job unwillingly and this would create a sort of disgust against her husband, which would ultimately mar their matrimonial life.
The husband should from time to time censure the life style of his wife - sometimes in a harsh tone, sometimes with love and affection and sometimes with persuasion. There are husbands who always keep a rod hanging with their moustaches and never treat their wives in a good manner other than rebuking and beating them. Such wives get frustrated and start hating their husbands. There are other hen-pecked husbands who over-pamper their wives even after they commit severe blunders. Their wives become stubborn and outspoken.
The husband should implement this couplet of Sa'di of Shiraz in their life. He says: "Strictness and pampering are very good things but at appropriate times". For example, the surgeon cuts open the wound but at the same time apply soothing ointment. Likewise, the husband should not be very strict nor very soft. A middle path always brings good results.
The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and informally seek her consent in a loving manner and as a matter of goodwill. He may ask her to invoke the Almighty Allah that the journey may prove safe and beneficial for him. Similarly, while returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for her. This gesture would encourage the wife to think with satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if he was away engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus, a simple initiative on the part of the husband will win over the heart of his wife.
If the woman brings anything from her father's house or prepares herself and presents it to the husband, he should express gratitude and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband should never reject or discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.
If the wife falls sick, the husband should dedicatedly look after her. He should take extra pain in her nursing, feeding, etc. This little service will win over the heart of the wife and she will be very grateful to the husband.
The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he should hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The Holy Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that the woman is the guardian and caretaker of her husband's house and Almighty Allah will take an account from her in this regard on the Day of Judgment.
The very benefit of relying on the wife would be that she would feel herself responsible for a vital department in the set up of the household. This will give the husband an opportunity to freely think of other things regarding the promotion and progress of his business.
The husband should never share the secrets of her wife with others. Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Worst is the person in the sight of Allah who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of others." [6]
The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look smart, dynamic and a loveable person.
The husband should provide her with the paraphernalia of personal hygiene such as soap, hair oil, comb, Mehndi, perfumes, etc. so that the wife may keep herself neat and clean and in better looks.
The husband should not level charges of corrupt practices against his wife without going into the depth of the matter. The relationship between a husband and a wife is based purely on mutual understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion against each other would mar the relations of the husband and wife.  A Hadith says: "One Bedouin came to the court of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) and said, "O Allah's Apostle (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), my wife has delivered a child who is dark complexioned and does not resemble me. I am sure it is not my child. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "Do you have some camels? He said, Yes, I have many camels. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) asked, What is the color of those camels? He said, They are brown. The Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) asked, Are there some grey camels among them? He said, Yes, a few of them are grey. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, Tell me how those brown camels gave birth to these grey camels? He said, Some camel among the ancestors of my brown camels would have been of grey color and these grey camels might have taken their origin from that particular camel. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, Similarly, it is possible that anyone among your ancestors would have been of black complexion and your child might have inherited his genetic influence. [7]
If there is some difference of opinion between the husband and wife, the husband should not make a hurry to pronounce divorce to her. He should exercise restraint. After his anger subsides, he should ponder over the entire matter with a cool mind. He may seek the advice of his elders in this matter and decide whether or not there is a chance of reconciliation and settlement. If a point of understanding and reconciliation emerges, he should act accordingly and refrain from breaking the wedlock. The Beloved Habeeb (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that the divorce is the most disliked things among the permissible things in the sight of Almighty Allah. [8]
If both husband and wife feel that there is no way out except the separation, the husband should pronounce one Talaaq after the woman clears her menses. There will be a temporary separation between them. This period will give them enough time to review their decision of separation. If they think that reconciliation is in their interest, the husband should take his wife back in his arms and forget what had happened between them. But if they think that they can no more live together, the husband should pronounce the second Talaaq after she clears her menses. The second pronouncement separates both of them. They have still a time to think of reconciliation. If they decide to live together, they have to perform the Nikah afresh after the period of Iddat is over. If they do not go for any reconciliation till the completion of the Iddat period, the third Talaaq will automatically come into force bringing a permanent separation between them. They cannot enter wedlock unless they go for Halalah. Halalah means that the woman should marry another man and have physical intercourse with him. The husband number two should divorce her. After the completion of the period of Iddat, she can marry the husband number one again.
There are some ignorant persons who play with the word Talaaq. They pronounce the divorce over minor clashes with their wives. After the pronouncement of divorce they repent and rush to the theologians and Muftis and force them to give a verdict in their favor. Some persons, while approaching the theologians, tell a lie that they had pronounced only one Talaaq. The Mufti has to allow them to retain their wives according to the Law of Sharee'ah. Thus, these ignorant people get themselves involved in establishing relations with a woman who is otherwise not to be taken as wife without Halalah.
If a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do justice with them. There should be equal treatment among wives in respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal attention. He has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that if a man has two wives and does not treat them equally, he would be raised on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralyzed. [9]
If the husband faces some trouble because of the misbehavior of his wife, he should try to avoid her and keep patience. Woman's arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The Glorious Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Woman has been created from the bent rib of Adam. If somebody tries to make the bent bone straight, it will rather break instead of becoming straight. Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there will be more a chance of separation instead of improvement in her nature.
The husband should not behave as a miser in meeting the materialistic requirements of his wife nor should he go for extravagance in her maintenance. He should define his expenditure as per his capacity.
The husband should not confine his wife within the four walls of his house. She should be taken to her parents and relatives from time to time provided these visits do not bring any trouble to the peace of his house.
[1] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[2] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[3] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[4] Tareekhul Khulafa, page 95
[5] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[6] Muslim Shareef, Vol. 1, page 464
[7] Bukhari, Vol. 2, pg. 799
[8] Abu Da'ood, Vol. 1, pg. 303
[9] Tirmidhi, Vol. 1, pg. 136

From the Blessed LIPS of the PIOUS
Subjects are not the slaves of their rulers, they remain as free as they be when they are born to their mothers. (Hazrat Umar - radi Allahu anhu)

Moderation is most meritorious in affluence and pardon most praise-worthy in power. (Hazrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz - radi Allahu anhu)

A student who learns half-heartedly and ungratefully can never succeed. A student who is humble and weak often reaches his goal. (Imam Shaafa'i - radi Allahu anhu)

The test of a true Muslim's mind is that it is always, and to all intents, strictly obedient to the Will of Allah, is constantly afraid of behaving in a manner which is apt to displease Him resulting in the withdrawing of His Grace. (Hazrat Kwaja Moinuddin Chisti - radi Allahu anhu)

If patience and gratitude had been two she-camels, it would have mattered little on which I rode. (Hazrat Umar Farooq - radi Allahu anhu)

A person is not worthy of leadership in any capacity at all if he has never memorised or recited the Quran on a regular basis and is not familiar with the Hadith at a recognised level. This has to be so because all knowledge for the sincere seeker is totally bound within our Holy Book and the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). (Hazrat Junaid Baghdadi -radi Allahu anhu)

If you come across anyone who claims to have divine inner experiences which at the same time contravene the limits imposed by the Holy Shariah, then, ignore him and never go near him. (Hazrat Abu al-Hussain Noori - radi Allahu anhu)

The believer may be cheated out of his property, but never out of his religion. And while the religion of the hypocrite could easily be taken away from him, it is impossible to take away any of his property. (Hazrat Yahya ibn Mu'adh al-Razi - radi Allahu anhuma)

The honour of man is his learning. Wise people are the torches, lighting the path of truth. In knowledge lies man's opportunity for immortality. While man may die, wisdom lives eternally. (Hazrat Ali Murtudha radi Allahu anhu)

Sleep with the remembrance of death, and rise with the thought that you will not live long. (Hazrat Uwais al-Qarni radi Allahu anhu)

To sit in the company of pious people is better than doing good and to sit in the company of evil (immoral) people is worse than doing evil. (Hazrat Khwaja Ghareeb-un-Nawaaz radi Allahu anhu)

A person who does in secret what he would be ashamed to do in public has no self-respect; in fact, he does not even consider himself being a human being. (Hazrat Dhu Nun al-Misri radi Allahu anhu)

As long as you do not see your virtues, you are virtuous; if you see your merits, you have no merits. (Hazrat Abu Abdullah al-Sajazi radi Allahu anhu)

The first thing which a man of intelligence should see is the condition and composition of his own self and then all the creations and inventions. (Hazrat Abul Qaadir Jilaani - radi Allahu anhu)

The company of a shameless man in this world will bring shame to you on the Day of Judgement. (Imam Shafi'i - radi Allahu anhu)

A learned man who has many friends may be a fraud, because if he were to tell them the truth, they would no longer be his friends. (Hazrat Sufyan Thauri - radi Allahu anhu)

Do not regret the past and do not worry about the future. (Hazrat Dhun Nun Misri - radi Allahu anhu)

There are some people who only talk of piety but they indulge in worldly pleasures. They prevent others from loving this world but they love this world too much. (Hazrat Ali - radi Allahu anhu)

"It puzzles me that a man should perish when he possesses the means to save himself". When they asked him to explain, he said: "The Prayer for forgiveness!" (Hazrat Ali - radi Allahu anhu)

The body that has defect in it's spirit will never become sweet (even) if you smear it with honey. (Hazrat Jalaaluddin Rumi - radi Allahu anhu)

Conceal your good deeds as you conceal your evil deeds. (Hazrat Rabia Basri - radi Allahu anha)

If a person cannot be rectified by expressing good manners and behaviour, he can be rectified by ill-treatment. (Hazrat Ali al-Murtudha - radi Allahu anhu)

He is a hardened sinner who commits sins and yet simultaneously entertains the belief that he is one of Allah's "chosen few." (Hazrat Kwaja Mu'inuddin Chisti - radi Allahu anhu)

Even the Angels in the Heavens pray for him who, having performed his morning Namaaz, remains sitting there engaged in the meditation of Allah. (Kwaja Mu'inuddin Chisti - radi Allahu anhu)

The meanest of all people is one who busies himself exclusively in feeding and clothing himself. (Hazrat Baba Farid-ud-Din - radi Allahu anhu)

A pious and sincere Aalim always exercises humility but when the vulgar and wicked possesses knowledge, he begins to boast. (Hazrat Ali al-Murtuda - radi Allahu anhu)

There are three signs in a young sincere man: (1) He will praise without an ulterior motive, (2) He will give charity before being approached, and (3) He will fulfil all his promises. (Sheikh Maroof Karkhi - radi Allahu anhu)

One who has not learnt the Quran and written the Hadith, that is, one who is ignorant about the Laws of Shariah, never follow him in anything pertaining to Tariqah and do not take him as your Peer because our knowledge of Tariqah is strictly in accordance with the Quran and Hadith (ie. Shariah).(Sheikh Abul Qasim Junaid Baghdadi - radi Allahu anhu) 

If the destitute or needy come to you, regard it as a gift from Allah and value it by fulfilling their needs. (Hazrat Imam Hussein - radi Allahu anhu)

No virtue is greater that piety and silence, no enemy greater than ignorance and no sickness is greater than lies. (Hazrat Imam Jafer as-Sadiq - radi Allahu anhu)

The only treatment for solving grief and misfortune is concealing it by patience. (Sheikh Ma'roof Karkhi - radi Allahu anhu)

Respect and honour at all times the descendants, Ulama and Mashaa'ikhs who are on the path of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). (Hazrat Sha Ale Ahmed Ach'che Mia - radi Allahu anhu)

Keep your heart in attendance so that none else could find entrance. (Hazrat Owais Qarni - radi Allahu anhu)

Renounce the world and you will find the way of Allah paved for you. (Hazrat Junaid Baghdadi - radi Allahu anhu)

Take account of your deeds before you are accounted for them on the day of Judgement. (Hazrat Dhun Nun Misri - radi Allahu anhu)

The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is a bankless river. Even if a single drop of this river is out the entire world will get drown in it. (Hazrat Abul Hasan Khirqani - radi Allahu anhu)

A few days spent in the company of Friends of Allah are better than a hundred years of sincere obedience to Allah. If thy seekest Divine Vicinity, spend your time with Saints! The further thou art with them, the further thou will be from Allah. If yours is a stony heart it will turn into pearl in the company of the Ecstatics. (Moulana Jalaluddin Rumi - radi Allahu anhu)

A mystic is like a sun which shed its light on all; he is like earth which sustains the burden of all; and he is like water which enlivens the hearts. (Hazrat Sirri Saqti - radi Allahu anhu)

Anyone who is desirous of name and fame can never get peace and comfort in life. (Hazrat Bishar Hafi - radi Allahu anhu)

Do not associate with one whose association will not help you after death. (Hazrat Malik bin Dinar - radi Allahu anhu)

Weep more and laugh less; keep silent more, talk less. (Hazrat Abul Hassan Kirqani - radi Allahu anhu)

When your sustenance narrows and decreases, repent (Istighfaar) to Allah and read your Kalima, Allah will increase His bounties and sustenance for you. (Hazrat Ali al-Murtuda - radi Allahu anhu)

One who exercises love and affection for his brother today will enjoy its reward tomorrow. (Hazrat Imam Hussain - radi Allahu anhu)

Never ever go to the home of those who pass their time in play and amusement. (Hazrat Sheikh Barkatullah Sha - radi Allahu anhu)

Never make an unclear or controversial statement that can be misinterpreted thus leading to embarrassment and problems. (Hazrat Sha Ale Ahmed Ache Mia - radi Allahu anhu)

A person who is mean to part with his wealth is always first and quick in giving his honour and respect (Izzat). (Hazrat Ali al-Murtuda - radi Allahu anhu)

No virtue is greater than piety and silence, and no enemy is greater than ignorance, and no sickness is greater than lies. (Hazrat Imam Jaffer as-Sadiq - radi Allahu anhu)

Worldly people run behind the Duniya while the Duniya runs behind those who seek Allah. (Hazrat Sheikh Sayyid Abdul Qaadir Jilani -radi Allahu anhu)

Value nobleness and excellence and hasten to achieve them. (Hazrat Imam Hussein - radi Allahu anhu)

A Sufi is like the earth - even if impurities are thrown on it, it will flourish with lush greenery. (Hazrat Sheikh Abul Qasim Junaid al-Baghdadi - radi Allahu anhu)

That person can never become perfect until he does not give preference to Deen (religion) over his personal desires. (Hazrat Sheikh Sirri Saqti - radi Allahu anhu)

Guard your tongue from self-praise as you guard it from sins. (Hazrat Sheikh Ma'roof Karkhi - radi Allahu anhu)

One who cannot discipline ones self can never discipline others. (Hazrat Sheikh Sirri Saqti - radi Allahu anhu)

Always abstain from the company of five people:-
A liar who always keeps you in doubt.

An idiot who will try and do good for you that will turn out to be disastrous.

A miser who, for his personal insignificant gain, will put you into great problems.

A coward who will leave you in the lurch at the time of crisis.

An evil-doer or sinner who will betray you for a morsel and accept a much less reward. (Hazrat Imam Jaffer as-Sadiq - radi Allahu anhu)

A true believer (Mu'min) will never be unfaithful, treacherous or a liar. (Hazrat Imam Moosa Kazim - radi Allahu anhu)

Conceal hardship because you can achieve proximity (closeness) to Allah by it. (Hazrat Sheikh Sayyid Abdul Qaadir Jilani - radi Allahu anhu)

To seek Paradise without good practice (Amal) is a sin, to wait for intercession (Shafa'at) without practising Sunnah is a type of pride, and depending on Allah's Mercy by malpractice (disobedience) is ignorance and stupidity. (Hazrat Sheikh Ma'roof Karkhi - radi Allahu anhu)

An Arif (mystic) is he who at times cannot defend himself against a meek mosquito, but at times can carry the seven skies and earths with the tip of his eyebrow and throw them aside. (Hazrat Sheikh Jafar Abubakr Shibli - radi Allahu anhu)

Always speak softly and lovingly with the creation of Allah. (Hazrat Sheikh Barkatullah Sha - radi Allahu anhu)

Women After Marriage - Part 5

How to live happily with the husband
Remember, the relationship between a husband and his wife is a very strong and life long association. The affinity and understanding between the two is the greatest grace of the Almighty Allah. Once this understanding gets disturbed, the life on both the sides gets spoiled.
The domestic quarrels between husband and wife have become very common these days. Several Muslim houses are burning in this fire. The difference of opinion between wife and husband reaches a stage when both of them pray for death. It is very easy to eliminate this difference of opinion and a state of civil war within the household.
Here are some ways to establish permanent peace on the home front:
Every wife should try to appease her husband day and night. This would satisfy his ego and he would feel that there is someone in the house that cares for him. A husband likes a wife who obeys his orders without arguments and without asking why and how. If the husband asks her to massage him throughout the night, she should bear that much pain and patiently obey his command. This little trouble would bring to her immense love from her husband.
Every wife should understand the temperament of her husband. She should know the likes and dislikes of her husband. By living with him for years together she may excel in knowing what makes him happy and what annoys him. She should master in her husband's habits and tastes.
It is obligatory on the part of the wife never to fight with her husband. She should not pass sarcastic comments to him nor should she criticize him bitterly. She should not give him a sharp and rigid reply nor should she pass any left-handed comment. She should also not find out defects in things brought by him nor should she describe his house and other property as useless and base. She should not pass adverse comments about the parents of her husband as this may lead to unnecessary arguments and will ultimately end in hatred towards each other. This hatred gradually aggravates to the extent of separation. The wife will leave her husband's house and go to her parent's house where her brother's wife and unmarried sisters may make her life miserable by taunting at her. This may lead to a bigger fight between the family of the woman and the family of man. The matter ultimately goes to the Court and drags for years together.
The wife should not ask her husband to give her money beyond his capacity. Whatever her husband gives her for running the house; she should accept it smilingly and run the household within the budget. Let the husband himself ask her what she would like him to bring for her. And when the husband brings something for her, she should appreciate it and express happiness in accepting the gift.
The wife should never pass comments on the looks and physique of her husband nor should she ever be ungrateful to him. She should not complain: "I have never been happy in your house. Oh Allah! My whole life spent out in sorrows and hardships. What I saw after coming to this ruined house. My parents have thrown me into this hell. They married me to a pauper and unlucky man like you." This sort of groaning will make the husband disappointed and disgusted. This frustration gradually will lead to constant fights and face-to-face confrontation and finally to the divorce. The Glorious Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "I saw plenty of women in the Hell". The Companions asked: "How come, O Allah's Apostle (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam)" He said: "For two reasons: First, the women indulge much in taunting and criticizing others. Secondly, the husbands may be treating them well for years but once they experience something less than their expectations they would say: "We have never seen any good from you."
The wife should show utmost restraint and respect in front of her husband. Whenever the husband returns home, she should welcome him leaving all the work aside. She should arrange for his comforts. She should not talk to him in a way that may annoy or confuse him. If the husband gets annoyed with the wife over some issue, she should keep silence and should not utter anything that may aggravate his anger.
If the husband gets annoyed over some of her mistake and rebukes her, she should not feel it bad. She should unconditionally beg his pardon and bring him back to his good mood by persuasive methods. If the husband rebukes her without any fault, she should not repay him in the same coin. This would be her greatness to make her husband happy.
The wife should not ask her husband the account of his debit and credit. The husband gets irritated over this accountability and this irritation leads to conflicts. Similarly, the wife should not investigate her husband's whereabouts and engagements nor should she express any doubt on the character of her husband, as it would disturb the mutual trust.
As long as her husband's parents are alive, she should obey them and attend their requirements. The husband is their son and if they incite him against the wife, he will be annoyed at her that will ultimately result in deterioration of relations. Similarly, she should treat her husband's brothers and sisters nicely. She should never try to divide the family. She should never insist on her separate household. However, if the parents of her husband themselves decide to live separately; she should welcome their idea happily. But after this separation she should always visit her in-laws and find out their difficulties and help them promptly.
If the wife faces any hardship in her husband's house, she should never narrate it to her parents and relatives. This creates tension between the two families.
The wife should concentrate more on her looks - her clothes and personal hygiene. She should take into account her husband's likes and dislikes. She should occasionally apply Mehndi (Henna) in her hands and feet. She should not keep her hair shattered and disturbed. A little carelessness with regard to the physical fitness may compel the husband to go to other women who make special arrangements to look good to the husbands of careless women.
The wife should take food last of all in her husband's house. She should arrange food for her husband, his parents, his brothers and sisters. She should always play a hostess at the dining table.
The wife should not develop a habit of admiring her parents and other relatives in her husband's house. This would create an impression in the minds of her in-laws that she is lowering their status.
The wife should not spy upon her in-laws. She should not try to listen secretly to the conversation of other women in her husband's house. It is very foolish of her to presume that they might be talking bad about her.
The wife should share housework with the mother-in-law and the sisters-in-law/s. This would create a feeling of helpfulness in the hearts of the women in her husband's house. The women folk will start liking her and cooperate with her in all matters. She should attend to her ailing mother-in-law or other sick members in her husband's house, as this would give her a dignified status in that house.
If the husband is poor and has no capacity to employ a maid-servant, the wife should not make any complaint of doing the work herself. Many tradition of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) reported in Bukhari indicate that the beloved daughter of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), Sayyidah Faatima az-Zahra (radi Allahu anha) personally attend to the domestic affairs of her home. She went to the community well herself, filled up the container with water and carried it on her back to her home. She used to grind the flour at home and due to this rugged exercise, her palms got wounded. Similarly, Sayyidah Asma (radi Allahu anha), the daughter of Sayyiduna Abu Bakr Siddique (radi Allahu anhu) did the entire domestic work alone in the house of her husband Sayyiduna Zubair (radi Allahu anhu). She brought date seeds from distant orchards to feed the camels and massage the horses.
The wife should keep a balance between the income of her husband and the expenditure of the house. If the husband is very poor, she should not insist upon him to bring items of luxury. She should be content with whatever is available within the limited resources.
The wife should not demonstrate any obstinacy and stubbornness in her husband's house. This is a general habit of women that they get furious very soon. Their parents may bear this fury but the in-laws will not bear this. The stubbornness of a woman in her husband's house becomes an issue of great criticism. Her obstinacy earns her a very bad name.
The house of the husband is a new place for every woman. She comes across with so many strange faces with different habits and behaviors. There is a possibility of difference of opinion and a clash of interests between the two parties. But the wife should keep patience and be kind to the mother-in-law and other members of her husband's house. One day or the other, the family of her husband itself will feel ashamed of their rude behavior and extend a hand of friendship and cooperation towards the new comer.
The wife should live in her husband's house with discipline. She should neither talk too much nor too less. She should talk sense. Her diction and intonation should be soft, clear and sublime. Her speech should not hurt any body.


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