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Husband & Wife
The relationship between the husband
and wife is a very tender, loving and pure relationship. They are in
reality the "garb" of one another. Thus, it is the duty of each to
be protective over the life, property and modesty of one another. It
is necessary for them to realise and understand their mutual duties
as a couple. They are two bodies joined by the soul.
The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that if a
husband was pleased and content with his wife when she passed away,
then she will enter Paradise. The explanation of one Hadith is that
if a husband passes the night displeased with his wife, she invokes
upon herself the Curse of Allah and the Angels. In another hadith,
the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "If I had commanded
prostration for any other than Allah, I would have commanded the
wife to make Sajdah to the husband." However, since Sajdah is none
but for Allah, a woman cannot prostrate to her husband but she
should be obedient towards him.
The husband is the provider and protector of his wife. He should
thus fulfill her needs and keep her pleased. "The best from amongst
you is he who is best to his wife." (Hadith) If there is a conflict,
the husband should not be hasty to give her Talaaq (Divorce), but
should cool his temper, think carefully and take the opinion of
elders before making any decisions as Talaaq is not something which
is liked. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated:
"From those actions that are Halaal, the most disliked is Talaaq."
The wife should also be patient with the husband. She should show
her gratitude for anything that he does. She should understand him
and not be lavish with his wealth. She should always be neatly
attired and loving. She should love and respect his family. That
house in which there is daily conflict is living hell and that home
in which there is love and respect is a blessed home.
The Laws of Shari'ah: If a man passes away, the wife may give him
Ghusal, but the husband cannot give his deceased wife Ghusal, nor
can he touch her deceased body without a cloth. He can, however, see
her face. It is common in the public that the husband cannot carry
the wife's Janazah or lower her into the grave. This is false. He
may see her face, carry her Janazah and lower her into the grave.
Nikah
58
hadith found in 'Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah)'
of Sunan Abu-Dawud.
Marriage and Divorce
(Al-NikAh and Al-TalAq)
BY FAQEER SHAFIQ
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A man came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him),
and said: My wife does not prevent the hand of a man who touches
her. He said: Divorce her. He then said: I am afraid my inner self
may covet her. He said: Then enjoy her.
2045
Narrated Ma'qil ibn Yasar: A man came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
and said: I have found a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not
give birth to children. Should I marry her? He said: No. He came
again to him, but he prohibited him. He came to him third time, and
he (the Prophet) said: Marry women who are loving and very prolific,
for I shall outnumber the peoples by you.
2046
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: Marthad ibn AbuMarthad al-Ghanawi
used to take prisoners (of war) from Mecca (to Medina). At Mecca
there was a prostitute called Inaq who had illicit relations with
him. (Marthad said:) I came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and
said to him: May I marry Inaq, Apostle of Allah? The narrator said:
He kept silence towards me. Then the verse was revealed:"....and the
adulteress none shall marry save and adulterer or an idolater." He
called me and recited this (verse) to me, and said: Do not marry
her.
2047
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: The
adulterer who has been flogged shall not marry save the one like
him. AbuMa'mar said: Habib al-Mu'allim narrated (this tradition) to
us on the authority of Amr ibn Shu'ayb.
2050
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: What is unlawful by reason of consanguinity is unlawful by
reason of fosterage.
2052
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Aflah ibn AbulQu'ays entered upon
me. I hid myself from him. He said: You are hiding yourself from me
while I am your paternal uncle. She said: I said: From where? He
said: The wife of my brother suckled you. She said: The woman
suckled me and not the man. Thereafter the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
entered upon me and I told him this matter. He said: He is your
paternal uncle; he may enter upon you.
2059
Narrated Hajjaj ibn Malik al-Aslami: I asked: Apostle of Allah,
what will remove from me the obligation due for fostering a child?
He said: A slave or a slave-woman.
2062
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
abominated the combination of paternal and maternal aunts and the
combination of two maternal aunts and two paternal aunts in
marriage.
2068
Narrated Saburah ibn Ma'bad al-Juhani: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
prohibited temporary marriage with women.
2070
Narrated Mu'awiyah: AbdurRahman ibn Hurmuz al-A'raj said: Al-Abbas
ibn Abdullah ibn al-Abbas married his daughter to AbdurRahman ibn
al-Hakam, and AbdurRahman married his daughter to him. And they made
this (exchange) their dower. Mu'awiyah wrote to Marwan commanding
him to separate them. He wrote in his letter: This is the shighar
which the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) has forbidden.
2071
Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: (The narrator Isma'il said: I think ash-Sha'bi
attributed this tradition to the Prophet) The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: Curse be upon the one who marries a divorced woman with the
intention of making her lawful for her former husband and upon the
one for whom she is made lawful.
2073
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
If any slave marries without the permission of his masters, he is a
fornicator.
2076
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
One of you must not ask a woman in marriage when his brother has
done so already, and one of you must not sell (his own goods) when
his brother has already sold (his goods) except with his permission.
2077
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at
what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. He (Jabir) said:
I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I
looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.
2078
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of her
guardians is void. (He said these words) three times. If there is
cohabitation, she gets her dower for the intercourse her husband has
had. If there is a dispute, the sultan (man in authority) is the
guardian of one who has none.
2080
Narrated AbuMusa: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: There is no
marriage without the permission of a guardian.
2081
Narrated Umm Habibah: Ibn Az-Zubayr reported on the authority of
Umm Habibah that she was the wife of Ibn Jahsh, but he died, He was
among those who migrated to Abyssinia. Negus then married her to the
Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
2083
Narrated Samurah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Any woman
who is married by two guardians (to two different men) belongs to
the first woman who is married by two guardians (to two different
men) belongs to the first of them and anything sold by a man to two
persons belongs to the first of them.
2084
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: About the Qur'anic verse: "It is not
lawful for you forcibly to inherit the woman (of your deceased
kinsmen), nor (that) ye should put constraint upon them. When a man
died, his relatives had more right to his wife then her own
guardian. If any one of them wanted to marry her, he did so; or they
married her (to some other person), and if they did not want to
marry her, they did so. So this verse was revealed about the matter.
2088
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: An
orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says
nothing that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the
authority of the guardian cannot be exercised against her will. The
full information rest with the tradition narrated by Yazid.
2090
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
Consult women about (the marriage of) their daughters.
2091
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so
the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice.
2095
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
A guardian has no concern with a woman previously married and has no
husband, and an orphan girl (i.e. virgin) must be consulted, her
silence being her acceptance.
2097
Narrated AbuHurayrah: AbuHind cupped the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
in the middle of his head. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
Banu Bayadah, marry AbuHind (to your daughter), and ask him to marry
(his daughter) to you. He said: The best thing by which you treat
yourself is cupping.
2098
Narrated Maymunah, daughter of Kardam: I went out along with my
father during the hajj performed by the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
I saw the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). My father came near
him; he was riding his she-camel. He stopped there and listened to
him. He had a whip like the whip of the teachers. I heard the
Bedouin and the people saying: Keep away from the whip. My father
came up to him. He caught hold of his foot and acknowledged him (his
Prophethood). He stopped and listened to him. He then said: I
participated in the army of Athran (in the pre-Islamic days). The
narrator, Ibn al-Muthanna, said: Army of Gathran. Tariq ibn al-Muraqqa'
said: Who will give me a lance and get a reward? I asked: What is
its reward? He replied: I shall marry him to my first daughter born
to me. So I gave him my lance and then disappeared from him till I
knew that a daughter was born to him and she came of age. I then
came to him and said: Send my wife to me. He swore that he would not
do that until I fixed a dower afresh other than that agreed between
me and him, and I swore that I should not give him the dower other
than that I had given him before. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: How old is she now? He said: She has grown old. He said: I
think you should leave her. He said: This put awe and fear into me,
and I looked at the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). When he
felt this in me, he said: You will not be sinful, nor will your
companion be sinful.
2101
Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: AbulAjfa' as-Sulami said: Umar (Allah
be pleased with him) delivered a speech to us and said: Do not go to
extremes in giving women their dower, for if it represented honour
in this world and piety in Allah's sight, the one of you most
entitled to do so would have been the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him).
The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) did not marry any of his
wives or gave any of his daughters in marriage for more than twelve
uqiyahs.
2102
Narrated Umm Habibah: Urwah reported on the authority of Umm
Habibah that she was married to Abdullah ibn Jahsh who died in
Abyssinia, so the Negus married her to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
giving her on his behalf a dower of four thousand (dirhams). He sent
her to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) with Shurahbil ibn
Hasanah. AbuDawud said: Hasanah is his mother.
2103
Narrated Umm Habibah daughter of AbuSufyan: Az-Zuhri said: The
Negus married Umm Habibah daughter of AbuSufyan to the Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him) for a dower of four thousand dirhams. He
wrote it to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) who accepted
it.
2105
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
If anyone gives as a dower to his wife two handfuls of flour or
dates he has made her lawful for him. AbuDawud said: This tradition
has been narrated by AbdurRahman ibn Mahdi, from Salih ibn Ruman,
from AbuzZubayr on the authority of Jabir as his own statement (not
going back to the Prophet). It has also been transmitted by AbuAsim
from Salih ibn Ruman , from AbuzZubayr on the authority of Jabir who
said: During the lifetime of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
we used to contract temporary marriage for a handful of grain.
2109
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: Masruq said on the authority of
Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: Abdullah (ibn Mas'ud ) was asked about a man
who had married a woman without cohabiting with her or fixing any
dower for her till he died. Ibn Mas'ud said: She should receive the
full dower (as given to women of her class), observe the waiting
period ('Iddah), and have her share of inheritance. Thereupon Ma'qil
ibn Sinan said: I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
giving the same decision regarding Birwa' daughter of Washiq (as the
decision you have given).
2111
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: Abdullah ibn Utbah ibn Mas'ud said:
Abdullah ibn Mas'ud was informed of this story of a man. The people
continued to visit him for a month or visited him many times (the
narrator was not sure). He said: In this matter I hold the opinion
that she should receive the type of dower given to women of her
class with no diminution or excess, observe the waiting period ('iddah)
and have her share of inheritance. If it is erroneous, that is from
me and from Satan. Allah and His Apostle are free from its
responsibility. Some people from Ashja' got up; among them were al-Jarrah
and AbuSinan. They said: Ibn Mas'ud, we bear witness that the
Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) gave a decision for us
regarding Birwa', daughter of Washiq, to the same effect as the
decision you have given. Her husband was Hilal ibn Murrah al-Ashja'i.
Thereupon Abdullah ibn Mas'ud was very pleased when his decision
agreed with the decision of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
2112
Narrated Uqbah ibn Amir: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said to a
man: Would you like me to marry you to so-and-so? He said: Yes. He
also said to the woman: Would you like me to marry you to so-and-so?
She said: Yes. He then married one to the other. The man had sexual
intercourse with her, but he did not fix any dower for her, nor did
he give anything to her. He was one of those who participated in the
expedition to al-Hudaybiyyah. One part of the expedition to al-Hudaybiyyah
had a share in Khaybar. When he was nearing his death, he said: The
Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) married me to so-and-so, and I
did not fix a dower for her, nor did I give anything to her. I call
upon you as witness that I have given my share in Khaybar as her
dower. So she took the share and sold it for one lakh (of dirhams).
2113
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
taught us the address in case of some need: Praise be to Allah from
Whom we ask help and pardon, and in Whom we take refuge from the
evils within ourselves. He whom Allah guides has no one who can lead
him astray, and he whom He leads astray has no one to guide him. I
testify that there is no god but Allah, and I testify that Muhammad
is His servant and Apostle. "You who believe,...fear Allah by Whom
you ask your mutual rights, and reverence the wombs. Allah has been
watching you." ..."you who believe, fear Allah as He should be
feared, and die only as Muslims" ...."you who believe, fear Allah as
He should be feared, and die only as Muslims"....."you who believe,
fear Allah and say what is true. He will make your deeds sound, and
forgive your sins. He who obeys Allah and His Apostle has achieved a
mighty success." The narrator, Muhammad ibn Sulayman, did mention
the word "inna" (verily).
2114
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: When the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
recited the tashahhud....He then narrated the same tradition. In
this version after the word "and His Apostle" he added the words:
"He has sent him in truth as a bearer of glad tidings and a warner
before the Hour. He who obeys Allah and His Prophet is on the right
path, and he who disobeys them does not harm anyone except himself,
and he does not harm Allah to the least.
2120
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: When Ali married Fatimah, the Prophet
(peace_be_upon_him) said to him: Give her something. He said: I have
nothing with me. He said: Where is your Hutamiyyah (coat of mail).
2121
Narrated A man from the Companion of the Prophet: Muhammad ibn
AbdurRahman ibn Thawban reported on the authority of a man from the
Companions of the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him): When Ali married
Fatimah, daughter of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him), he
intended to have intercourse with her. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
prohibited him to do so until he gave her something. Ali said: I
have nothing with me, Apostle of Allah. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: Give her your coat of mail. So he gave her his coat of mail,
and then cohabited with her.
2123
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
commanded me to send a woman to her husband before he gave something
to her.
2124
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: A woman who marries on a dower or a reward or a promise before
the solemnisation of marriage is entitled to it; and whatever is
fixed for her after solemnisation of marriage belongs to whom it is
given. A man is more entitled to receive a thing given as a gift on
account of his daughter or sister (than other kinds of gifts).
2125
Narrated AbuHurayrah: When the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
congratulated a man on his marriage, he said: May Allah bless for
you, and may He bless on you, and combine both of you in good
(works).
2126
Narrated Basrah: A man from the Ansar called Basrah said: I married
a virgin woman in her veil. When I entered upon her, I found her
pregnant. (I mentioned this to the Prophet). The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: She will get the dower, for you made her vagina lawful for
you. The child will be your slave. When she has begotten (a child),
flog her (according to the version of al-Hasan). The version of Ibn
AbusSari has: You people, flog her, or said: inflict hard punishment
on him.
2128
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When a
man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on
the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
2129
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
used to divide his time equally and said: O Allah, this is my
division concerning what I possess, so do not blame me concerning
what Thou possessest and I do not.
2135
Narrated Qays ibn Sa'd: I went to al-Hirah and saw them (the
people) prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, so I said:
The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) has most right to have
prostration made before him. When I came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him),
I said: I went to al-Hirah and saw them prostrating themselves
before a satrap of theirs, but you have most right, Apostle of
Allah, to have (people) prostrating themselves before you. He said:
Tell me , if you were to pass my grave, would you prostrate yourself
before it? I said: No. He then said: Do not do so. If I were to
command anyone to make prostration before another I would command
women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the
special right over them given to husbands by Allah.
2137
Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: Mu'awiyah asked: Apostle of Allah,
what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied:
That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you
clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or
separate yourself from her except in the house.
2138
Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah: I said: Apostle of Allah, how should
we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied:
Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food
when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile
her face, and do not beat her.
2139
Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He
replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them
by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not
revile them.
2141
Narrated Abdullah ibn AbuDhubab: Iyas ibn Abdullah ibn AbuDhubab
reported the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) as saying: Do not
beat Allah's handmaidens, but when Umar came to the Apostle of Allah
(peace_be_upon_him) and said: Women have become emboldened towards
their husbands, he (the Prophet) gave permission to beat them. Then
many women came round the family of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
complaining against their husbands. So the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: Many women have gone round Muhammad's family complaining
against their husbands. They are not the best among you.
2142
Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
A man will not be asked as to why he beat his wife.
2144
Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: to Ali: Do not give a second look, Ali, (because) while you
are not to blame for the first, you have no right to the second.
2153
Narrated Ruwayfi' ibn Thabit al-Ansari: Should I tell you what I
heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say on the day of
Hunayn: It is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the
last day to water what another has sown with his water (meaning
intercourse with women who are pregnant); it is not lawful for a man
who believes in Allah and the Last Day to have intercourse with a
captive woman till she is free from a menstrual course; and it is
not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the Last Day to sell
spoil till it is divided.
2155
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: If one of you marries a woman or buys a slave, he should say:
"O Allah, I ask Thee for the good in her, and in the disposition
Thou hast given her; I take refuge in Thee from the evil in her, and
in the disposition Thou hast given her." When he buys a camel, he
should take hold of the top of its hump and say the same kind of
thing.
2157
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: He who
has intercourse with his wife through her anus is accursed.
2159
Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: Ibn Umar misunderstood (the Qur'anic
verse, "So come to your tilth however you will")--may Allah forgive
him. The fact is that this clan of the Ansar, who were idolaters,
lived in the company of the Jews who were the people of the Book.
They (the Ansar) accepted their superiority over themselves in
respect of knowledge, and they followed most of their actions. The
people of the Book (i.e. the Jews) used to have intercourse with
their women on one side alone (i.e. lying on their backs). This was
the most concealing position for (the vagina of) the women. This
clan of the Ansar adopted this practice from them. But this tribe of
the Quraysh used to uncover their women completely, and seek
pleasure with them from in front and behind and laying them on their
backs. When the muhajirun (the immigrants) came to Medina, a man
married a woman of the Ansar. He began to do the same kind of action
with her, but she disliked it, and said to him: We were approached
on one side (i.e. lying on the back); do it so, otherwise keep away
from me. This matter of theirs spread widely, and it reached the
Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). So Allah, the Exalted, sent
down the Qur'anic verse: "Your wives are a tilth to you, so come to
your tilth however you will," i.e. from in front, from behind or
lying on the back. But this verse meant the place of the delivery of
the child, i.e. the vagina.
2161
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: I and the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
used to lie in one cloth at night while I was menstruating. If
anything from me smeared him, he washed the same place (that was
smeared), and did not wash beyond it. If anything from him smeared
his clothe, he washed the same place and did not wash beyond that,
and prayed with it (i.e. the clothe).
2163
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said
about a man who has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman: He
should give one or half dinar as sadaqah.
2164
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: If a man has sexual intercourse (with
menstruating woman) during her bleeding, he should give one dinar as
sadaqah, and if he does so when bleeding has stopped, he should give
half a dinar as sadaqah.
2166
Narrated AbuSa'id al-Khudri: A man said: Apostle of Allah, I have a
slave-girl and I withdraw the penis from her (while having
intercourse), and I dislike that she becomes pregnant. I intend (by
intercourse) what the men intend by it. The Jews say that
withdrawing the penis (azl) is burying the living girls on a small
scale. He (the Prophet) said: The Jews told a lie. If Allah intends
to create it, you cannot turn it away.
2169
Narrated AbuHurayrah: AbuNadrah reported: An old man of Tufawah
said to me: I was a guest of AbuHurayrah at Medina. I did not find
any one of the companions of the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) more
devoted to worship and more hospitable than AbuHurayrah. One day I
was with him when he was sitting on his bed. He had a purse which
contained pebbles or kernels. A black slave-girl of his was sitting
below. Counting them he was glorifying Allah. When the pebbles or
the kernels in the purse were finished, she gathered them and put
them again in the purse, and gave it to him. He said: Should I not
tell you about me and about the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)?
I said: Yes. He said: Once when I was laid up with fever in the
mosque, the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) came and entered
the mosque, and said: Who saw the youth of ad-Daws. He said this
three times. A man said: Apostle of Allah, there he is, laid up with
fever on one side of the mosque. He moved, walking forward till he
reached me. He placed his hand on me. He had a kind talk with me,
and I rose. He then began to walk till he reached the place where he
used to offer his prayer. He paid his attention to the people. There
were two rows of men and one row of women, or two rows of women and
one row of men (the narrator is doubtful). He then said: If Satan
makes me forget anything during the prayer, the men should glorify
Allah, and the women should clap their hands. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
then prayed and he did not forget anything during the prayer. He
said: Be seated in your places, be seated in your places. The
narrator, Musa, added the word "here". He then praised Allah and
exalted Him, and said: Now to our topic. The agreed version begins:
He then said: Is there any man among you who approaches his wife,
closes the door, covers himself with a curtain, and he is concealed
with the curtain of Allah? They replied: Yes. He said: later he sits
and says: I did so-and-so; I did so-and-so. The people kept silence.
He then turned to the women and said (to them): Is there any woman
among you who narrates it? They kept silence. Then a girl fell on
one of her knees. The narrator, Mu'ammil, said in his version: a
buxom girl. She raised her head before the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
so that he could see her and listen to her. She said: Apostle of
Allah, they (the men) describe the secrets (of intercourse) and they
(the women) also describe the secrets (of intercourse) to the
people. He said: Do you know what the similitude is? He said: The
likeness of this act is the likeness of a female Satan who meets the
male Satan on the roadside; he fulfils his desire with her while the
people are looking at him. Beware! The perfume of men is that whose
smell becomes visible and its colour does not appear. Beware! The
perfume of women is that whose colour becomes visible and whose
smell is not obvious. AbuDawud said: From here I remembered this
tradition from Mu'ammil and Musa: Beware! No man should lie with
another man, no woman should lie with another woman except with
one's child or father. He also mentioned a third which I have
forgotten. This has been mentioned in the version of Musaddad, but I
do not remember it as precisely as I like. The narrator, Musa, said:
Hammad narrated this tradition from al-Jarir from AbuNadrah from at-Tufawi.
TEMPORARY MARRIAGE (Mutah)
Muhammad allowed temporary marriages. �Abdullah b. Mas�ud reports:
�We were on an expedition with Allah�s Messenger and we had no women
with us. We said: Should we not have ourselves castrated? The Holy
Prophet forbade us to do so. He then granted us permission that we
should contract temporary marriage for a stipulated period giving
her a garment [for a dowry].� At this �Abdullah felt happy and
remembered the QurAnic verse: �The believers do not make unlawful
the good things which Allah has made lawful for you, and do not
transgress. Allah does not like transgressors� (3243; QurAn 5:87).
JAbir reports: �We contracted temporary marriage giving a handful of
dates and flour as a dower� (3249). He told another group: �Yes, we
had been benefiting ourselves by this temporary marriage during the
lifetime of the Holy Prophet, and during the time of AbU Bakr and �Umar�
(3248). IYas b. Salama reports, on the authority of his father,
�that Allah�s Messenger gave sanction for contracting temporary
marriage for three nights in the year of AutAs [after the Battle of
Hunain, A.H. 8] and then forbade it� (3251).
Sunni theologians regard this form of marriage as no longer lawful,
but the Shias differ and still practice it in Persia. The Shia
theologians support this with a QurAnic verse: �Forbidden to you
also are married women, except those who are your hands as slaves. .
. . And it is allowed you, besides this, to seek out wives by means
of your wealth, with modest conduct, and without fornication. And
give those with whom you have cohabited their dowry. This is the
law. But it shall be no crime in you to make agreements over and
above the law. Verily, God is knowing, Wise� (QurAn 4:24).
Nikah & Talaq From
Quran And Hadis
TALAQ
BY FAQEER SHAFIQ
Do not treat Allah's Injunctions as a jest. (2-231)
If ye fear a breach between them,
appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from
hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their
reconciliation.[4-35]
O Prophet! When ye do divorce women, divorce them at their
prescribed periods (Iddat). (65-1)
Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves three monthly
periods. (2-229
Such of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for
them the prescribed period, if ye have any doubts, is three months,
and for those who have no courses - it is the same. (65-4)
For those who are pregnant, their period is until they deliver their
burdens. (65-4)
And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that
period, if they wish for reconciliation. (2-228)
And take for witness two persons from among you. (65-2)
A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should
either hold together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness.
(2-229)
So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably), he cannot, after
that, re- marry her. (2-230)
So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably), he cannot, after
that, re- marry her until after she has married another husband and
he has divorced her. In that case there is no blame on either of
them if they re-unite, provided they feel that they can keep the
limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah,
which He makes plain to those who understand. (2-230)
And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them,
according to what is equitable. (2-228)
If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is
no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between
themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are
swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint,
Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do. (4-128)
But if they disagree (and must part), Allah* will provide abundance
for each of them from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He that
careth for all and is Wise. (4-130)
If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the
limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she
give something for her freedom. (2-229)
Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your
oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. (2-225)
For those who take an oath for abstention from their wives, a
waiting for four months is ordained; if then they return, Allah is
Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (2-226)
But if their intention is firm for divorce, Allah heareth and
knoweth all things. (2-227)
Such of your women
as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the prescribed
period, if ye have any doubts, is three months, and for those who
have no courses. (65-4)
Here is the clear, Ultimate Qur'anic Guidance.
Surah 65 At-Talaq
[Author's note] This is the 65th Surah of the Qur'an. It has 12
verses. Allah holds man accountable only to the extent what He has
given to him.
Some very important Laws for divorce are propounded in this Surah in
addition to 2:228-234, 4:3, 4:19, 4:35, 4:128, 33:49, 58:1-3,
65:1-4.
NO ROOM FOR INSTANT DIVORCE:
According to the Qur'an, there is absolutely no room for an instant
divorce. The process must take months in order to allow
reconsideration on the part of the husband and wife.
THE QUR'AN DISREGARDED: It is highly unfortunate and shameful that
Muslim jurists have been ignoring and practically revoking these
clear verses of the Book of Allah for centuries, in favor of their
own conjecture. According to their exploitative and erroneous
edicts, if a husband utters the word "Divorce" three times in anger
or under any kind of duress or even in a stage drama or movie,
divorce takes effect instantly. What a mockery of the Qur'an! They
are then declared unlawful for each other. ANYONE EATING OR DRINKING
IN THEIR HOME COMMITS HARAM!
THE SOMERSAULT: It is interesting to note that the so called "Fuqaha"
(Jurists and Mullahs) who otherwise uphold Hadith in preference to
the Word of Allah, conveniently disregard even their 'treasure'
whenever it suits their whims or purpose. (They even 'abrogate' the
Qur'anic verses against Hadith!)
HADITH IGNORED: In this instance, there is a Hadith in Ibn Majah.
The exalted Prophet is reported to have said, "La talaqa fil Ighlaq"
= There is absolutely no divorce under any kind of duress, coercion,
suddenness, anger etc. This Hadith which is in total harmony with
the Qur'an remains obscure or redundant to the "Ulema".
UPHOLD THE QUR'AN: Incidentally there is another beautiful Hadith
that strikes a cord with 65:2. The exalted Prophet is reported to
have said, "For you O people! Just this verse of the Qur'an could be
sufficient. Anyone who is mindful of Allah, He will always grant a
way out for him (from difficult situations).
THE WAITING PERIOD BEFORE WOMEN REMARRY. HOMES BELONG TO WOMEN:
65:1 O Prophet! When you men intend to divorce women, make sure that
the waiting period is observed. Keep precise account of this
interim. Be mindful of Allah, your Lord. Never expel them from THEIR
homes, nor shall they themselves leave their homes unless they
commit open immorality. These are, then, the limits imposed by
Allah. And whoever crosses Allah's limits, he verily hurts his own
'Self'. You know not that Allah may bring about thereafter a new
situation (help create reconciliation).
WITNESSES:
65:2 And so when they have reached their waiting term, either retain
them in kindness or part with them in kindness. And let there be two
just persons among you to witness, and establish the evidence
straight for Allah. This exhortation is for him who believes in
Allah and the Last Day. And anyone who is mindful of Allah, He will
always grant a way out for him (from difficult situations).
ARBITERS: Three months of attempts to affect reconciliation by
arbiters is one of the pre-requisites for divorce.
ATTEMPTS AT RECONCILIATION:
4:35 (Families and communities must adopt a proactive approach
regarding a husband and a wife in discord). If you fear a breach
between a husband and wife, appoint two arbiters, one from his
family and one from her family. If they decide to reconcile, Allah
will help them get together. Verily, Allah is Knower, Aware.
(2:228-234, 4:3, 4:19, 4:35, 4:128, 33:49, 58:1 65:1-4).
THE ONLY VALID PROCEDURE: The only valid procedure of divorce is
clearly given in 2:224-232
SILLY STATEMENTS DO NOT MATTER:
2:224 Let not your senseless oaths in the Name of Allah deter you
from doing good to others, from being mindful of the Divine Laws,
and from making peace between people. Allah is Hearer, Knower.
2:225 Allah will not task you for your senseless swearing. He holds
you responsible for your intentional doings. Allah is Forgiving,
Clement. (Therefore, a marriage will not be dissolved for senseless
utterances of the husband or the wife).
FOUR MONTHS OF GRACE:
2:226 Men who take an oath that they will not approach their wives
shall have four months of grace. And if they go back on their oath
during these four months, behold, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
(They must rethink their decision during this grace period and
circumstances might change. Similar rules apply for women, since
they have equal rights and obligations, and since no man is
permitted to forcibly keep his wife in wedlock against her will as
stated later in the Book (2:228, 4:19, 4:21, 4:34, 7:189).
BE MINDFUL OF ALLAH'S COMMANDS:
2:227 If they decide upon divorce let them remember that Allah is
Hearer, Knower. (They must bear in mind that since marriage is a
Solemn Covenant 4:21, divorce can take place only in accordance with
this Book of Law).
WAITING TO REMARRY. THEY CAN STILL RECONCILE DURING THE WAITING
PERIOD:
2:228 After divorce, women shall wait three menstruations before
remarriage. There is no waiting period for a woman who is divorced
before intimate relations with her husband (33:49). And it is three
months if they do not habitually menstruate (65:4). They shall not
conceal pregnancy if they believe in Allah and in the Hereafter. In
case of pregnancy, their waiting period shall be until delivery
(65:4). And during this period their husbands would do better to
take them back if both of them desire reconciliation. The husband
and the wife have the right to reconcile during this waiting period
of the wife. Women, by Ordinance, have rights similar to men. Men,
however, do not have a waiting period for remarriage for obvious
physiological reasons. That is where men are on a platform different
from them. (2:228-234, 4:3, 4:19, 4:35, 4:128, 33:49, 58:1, 65:1-4).
THE WHOLE CYCLE OF THREE MONTHS REQUIRED FOR DIVORCE IS PERMITTED
TWICE IN A LIFE-TIME:
2:229 In a given couple's lifetime, a divorce is permissible twice.
(The whole period of divorce i.e. three menstruations / three
months, or until delivery can be taken back twice). Then the
divorced woman must be retained in honor or released in kindness.
She shall be allowed to live in the same home amicably, or leave it
amicably. At or after divorce, it is not lawful for you to take back
anything of what you have ever given to her. However, if both of you
fear that you might (in waves of emotion) transgress the bounds set
by Allah, there shall be no blame on either of you for what the wife
willingly gives back, whatever she chooses. These are the Limits set
by Allah; transgress them not. Whoever transgresses the bounds set
by Allah, such are the wrongdoers.
THE THIRD AND FINAL CHANCE:
2:230 If a man divorces his wife on a third different time during
their marital life, it shall be unlawful for him to remarry her. It
may so happen that the woman marries another man, and those two do
not get along, and the other husband divorces her. In that case,
there is nothing wrong if both (the previous couple) decide to come
together again, if they consider that they will be able to observe
the Limits set by Allah. These Limits have been made clear for
people to make use of the Divine gift of knowledge (and make no
crookedness in the Straight Path).
HALALA OR HARAMA? Here comes the most shameful deed unique to the
Mullahs in the whole world. They maintain that a woman has to go
through HALALA (planned marriage with another man for one night
followed by divorce in the morning) even if the husband uttered
senseless words pointing to separation or divorce. The Mullahs offer
their own "Noble Services" for being the bridegroom for one night
and even charge a hefty fee for it! "Authorized" HALALA offices
abound in many so-called Muslim countries!
WIVES CAN BE RETAINED EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THE WAITING PERIOD
(The first two divorces):
2:231 When you have divorced women, and they have completed their
waiting period, then retain them in kindness or release them in
kindness. You shall allow them to live in the same home amicably, or
let them leave amicably. Do not force them to stay against their
will, as revenge. Anyone who does this wrongs his own "Self". Do not
make the Revelations of Allah a laughing stock. Remember Allah's
Blessings upon you and the Book and Wisdom He has sent down to you
in order to enlighten you. Be mindful of Allah's Commands and know
that Allah is Aware of all things.
NO OBSTRUCTIONS IF THEY WISH TO REMARRY:
2:232 And when you have divorced women, and they have completed
their waiting period, people in the society shall not place
difficulties if both of them wish to remarry each other in kindness.
And do not place difficulties if the woman decides to marry a
different husband upon mutual agreement. This instruction is for all
among you who believe in Allah and the Last Day. Following the
Commands helps you develop your personality and stay clear of vice.
Allah knows, you know not.
THERE IS NO ROOM FOR "KHULA'" (woman going through a court of
law begging for divorce, a process that might take years in the
"Muslim" societies):
4:19 O You who have chosen to be graced with belief! It is not
lawful for you to force women into marrying or holding on to them in
marriage against their will. Pressuring women to remain in wedlock
by threatening to take away the marital gift is forbidden. A wife
could forfeit the right to the marital gift only if she has indulged
in clear lewdness. You shall treat your wives nicely. Even if you
dislike them, it may happen that Allah has placed much good in what
you have failed to realize.
Fate of other Co-Religionist
Q. What is the fate of those people who donot follow Islam and live
their life according to other religions?
A. Allah has not created man to live forever on earth. Earthly life
is but a test to judge people who are fit to fulfill the purpose of
their creation in the eternal next life. Islam was prescribed for
them during their stay on earth from the day one, Islam is the only
religion acceptable by Allah as all the other ways are either
distortions and digressions from Islam or man made isms. Man is not
supposed to follow what ever he likes but submit to the will of his
creator. It is like a transitional phase for a quality control test
by a manufacturer before the product is sent to its final
destination. The rejected goods are discarded as wastage. Similarly
the rejected lot of the human beings will be thrown into hell which
is the waste bin of the real and eternal life Hereafter.
God is one and therefore religion has always been one. In Arabic
language it is Islam, while in earlier times it might have been
called by other names in different languages. Every prophet of Allah
from Adam, Noah, Abraham, Issac, Ismael, Jacob, Moses, David,
Solomon, Job, Jonas, John, Jesus and others to the last Prophet
Muhammad (Pbuh) preached Islam to their followers. While due to the
lack of reliable recording means, the Message brought by earlier
prophets, could not remain safe from being adultrated knowingly or
unknowingly by interested or ignorant followers. The message sent
through Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) came at a time just prior to the
scientific explosion. The followers committed to memory each and
every word with precision till the foolproof methods of recording
were invented a short while later. The final version of Islam
revealed to the last Prophet Muhammad through Holy Qur’an is thus
the only unadultrated Word of God on earth which is to be followed
by every sane humanbeing who hears about it.
Islam requires belief in One God without a partner, belief in all
the Prophets of Allah, belief in the Day of Judgement and the Life
Hereafter besides a prescirbed code of conduct to prepare the man
for the life of submission. It is not enough to be a person of good
conduct without the basic beliefs in One God, all His Prophets and
His Judgement. It is like a man when he is caught as a spy of the
enemy, his good conduct and examplary behaviour with other human
beings cannot rescue him from being caught and punished.
Faithfulness with the Government of the country comes first and his
conduct later. Similarly all the good deeds of a person cannot
rescue him if he is not faithful to Owner of the Kingdon i.e. God.
Is Secret Marriage Permissible
Q.1. What in the real sense Nikah (marriage) is? Is Nikha only that
which a so called Kazi recites infront of every one? Or Nikah is
that which a girl and boy confess with their own hearts? I hope you
understand what I mean. And if they get involved in sex. Is that sex
illicit or illegal? Remember, they have confessed one another as
husband and wife infront of Almighty God.
A. The presence of a Qazi is not necessary for a Nikah. The ‘Khutba’
of Nikah is a recommended Sunnah which may be delivered by anyone,
even by the groom himself but the ‘Khutba’ is not an essential
requisite for a Nikah. However there are other conditions without
which a Nikah is not valid. Nikah cannot be solemnised in secret.
The Qur’an ordains: “Do not make a secret contract with them ..”
(2:235). Although the above order is in context of divorced women in
their waiting period, but as they are illegible for marriage after
the waiting period, the order can be applied to the unmarried girls
as well.
“Ibne Abbas narrated that the Prophet (Pbuh) said: Fornicators are
those women who solemnise their Nikah without witnesses.” (Tirmizi)
Imam Tirmizi says, “In this regard there are also narrations of
Imran Bin Hiseen, Anas and Abu Hurairah. Sahaba (the holy
companions) and Tabi’een (the companions of Sahaba) stand by this.
They have all stated that Nikah is not valid without witnesses.
Prior to it we are not aware of any dispute therein.” (Tirmizi,
Abwabun- Nikah)
The Fiqh scholars do not permit Nikah in secret. Remember, the
essence or spirit is not enough when there are conditions or a
procedure prescribed for an observance. In Salat, its spirit “Taqwa”
is essential but the prescribed procedure has to be gone through.
Procedure for Talaq
Q.2. What is a correct way of pronouncing a Talaq?
A. The procedure prescribed by the Qur’an is following:
a. Appoint mediators from both sides for reproachment.
b. If the mediation fails, the man should pronounce Talaq (once) in
clean days of the wife. Talaq should not be given during the days of
her period.
c. He should not force her out of the house after the Talaq but care
for her, should not tease or harass her and afford her maintenance
till the completion of her three normal periods (and in the case of
missed periods, for three months and ten days). This is called ‘Iddat’,
(waiting period) of Talaq. (The Iddat of a pregnant woman lasts till
the baby is delivered).
d. During the waiting period, they should refrain from sex but if
they have sex or decide for a reproachment, they can do so and they
are again husband and wife. This is called Rujat.
e. If there no “Rujatie reproachment during the waiting period, then
the Talaq is enforced. The woman can no longer live with him and the
man should see her off in a decent manner with appropriate gifts.
f. A Hadith reported in Abu Dawood insposes the condition of Talaq
and Rujat to be made in the presence of (at least two) witnesses.
g. Abud Dawood also reports Hadith which states that there is no
Talaq in the state of wrath the fiq’h scholars decree otherwise on
the basis of other narrations in the books of Hadith.
Easy Talaq
Q.3. Why Talaq can be so easily given?
A. If by easy Talaq you mean that the Talaq is enforced in a short
while by simply pronouncing the word thrice, you may observe in the
above question-answer that it is not so. Although a majority of four
Sunni Fiq’h scholars opine that Talaq thus pronounced is Haram but
valid and they also based their contention on some narrations in the
books of Hadith but it may safely be argued that the stand of
Ahle-Hadith and Ja’afri Fig’h scholars in this regard is more
judicious. Muslim and Abu Dawood have reported Ibne Abbas saying
that Triple Talaq of one occasion was considered as on Talaq in the
Prophets and Abu Bakar’s time and during the first three years of
Umar’s Caliphdom.
It is an accepted principle in Shariat that Hadiths contradictory to
Qur’an are not considered correct. In the presence of contradictory
narrations, those in consonance with Qur’an are acceptable and
others should be rejected. It is significant that among all the
procedure based laws, the procedure of Talaq is the single most
detailed described procedure in Qur’an. Contravention of the
procedure is not only a grave sin and a punishable crime but the
Talaq is also invalidated without the proper procedure being
adopted.
If by Talaq easily given’, you mean that the husband should not have
a right to give divorce on his own without the consent of a judicial
authority, the Law of God does not agree with you, Shariah has
announced normal deterrents but has not imposed any legal binding
upon it. The Qur’an advised.
..”Live with them (the wives) on a footing of kindness and equity.
If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing and
Allah brings about through it a great deal of good” (4:19)
The Prophet (Pbuh) declared: “Of all permitted acts, Talaq is the
most disliked by Allah”. (Abu Dawood)
There are ills in Muslim society due to acceptance of validity of
Talaqs which should be invalid but there are much greater evils in
other societies where a husband has no way of getting rid of his
wife except murdering her or vice versa.
Divorce by Woman
Q.1. In Islam doesn’t a woman have any right to take divorce
unilaterally even if her husband is an absolute disgrace, criminal
and involved in many crimes? Does she need the consent of such a
person for divorce, particularly if she has been misled into
marrying him and now she has come to know of his true character and
criminal nature and dealings?
2. Is being the wife of a drunkard a sin and what is the way of out
of such a marriage for the hapless woman? The man was a drunkard at
the time of marriage, which the man’s parents hid from the mother of
the girl, a widow. The man’s parents also hid his real occupation,
that of Kalasi with a criminal record. The parents of the man also
hid the fact that their son already had a non-Muslim woman who has
borne him two sons. The Muslim girl works and the in-laws snatch her
entire salary leaving her just enough for her bus fare and for fees
for her son. The drunkard beats her everyday and even in the morning
before she leaves for office. He does not give her any money for
anything. The marriage was in 1990. Is such a marriage void because
of fraud? what must she do to cut the gordian knot?
A. The surest way of getting out of such situations is foregone by
the girls at the time of their marriage itself. The girl or their
parents these days should insist on Tafweez-e Talaq at the time of
their Nikah. Tafwee-ze-Talaq is a written agreement in presence of
witnesses at the time of Nikah that the wife would be subjected to a
single Talaq whenever she pronounces taking a Talaq. The wife in a
marriage under such agreement would automatically get a Talaq
whenever she pronounces it. This remedy at this juncture is not
available to the women in question. The marriage is a contract and
if it is proved that one of the parties had acted fraudulently, a
Qazi, or a Mufti of Darul-Ifta should annul the contract on woman’s
appeal after giving due time to the offender to mend his ways, he is
not found to do so. But the difficulty is that normally it cannot be
proved even after a short while of marriage that the girl or her
parents were deceived at the time of marriage.
A Qazi and a Mufti heading a panel is empowered to effect a
separation on many other counts also but usually they act so in
cases of impotence of the husband or his refusal to provide the wife
the maintenance ( If she has no other means of supporting her ) but
not for the crimes in questions. In my opinion the wife of a
perpetual sinner of the nature in question should get relief of
separation by a Qazi or a Mufti heading a panel, in the light of the
following verse of Qur’an: “ Women impure are for men impure and men
impure for woman impure, and woman of purity are for men of purity
and men of purity are for women of purity..” (24:26)
Marriage and
Divorce
63 hadith found in 'Divorce
(Kitab Al-Talaq)'
of Sunan Abu-Dawud.
(Al-NikAh and Al-TalAq)
BY FAQEER SHAFIQ
2170
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Anyone
who incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his
master is not one of us.
2172
Narrated Muharib: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Allah did
not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.
2173
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.
2180
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: AbdurRahman ibn Ayman, the client of
Urwah, asked Ibn Umar and AbuzZubayr was was listening: What do you
think if a man divorces his wife while she is menstruating? He said:
Abdullah ibn Umar divorced his wife while she was menstruating
during the time of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).So Umar
asked the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) saying: Abdullah ibn
Umar divorced his wife while she was menstruating. Abdullah said: He
returned her to me and did not count it (the pronouncement)
anything. He said: When she is purified, he may divorce her or keep
her with him. Ibn Umar said: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) recited
the Qur'anic verse: O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them
in the beginning of their waiting period."
2181
Narrated Imran ibn Husayn: Mutarrif ibn Abdullah reported:Imran ibn
Husayn was asked about a person who divorces his wife, and then has
intercourse with her, but he does not call any witness to her
divorce nor to her restoration. He said: You divorced against the
sunnah and took her back against the sunnah. Call someone to bear
witness to her divorce, and to her return in marriage, and do not
repeat it.
2182
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Umar ibn Mu'tab reported: AbuHasan, a
client of Banu Nawfal asked Ibn Abbas: A slave had a wife who was a
slave-girl. He divorced her by two pronouncements. Afterwards both
of them were freed. Is it permissible for him to ask her in marriage
again? He said: Yes. This is a decision given by the Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
2183
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The aforesaid tradition (No. 2182) has
also been transmitted by Ali (ibn al-Mubarak) through a different
chain of narrators to the same effect. This version adds: Ibn Abbas
said: There remained one more pronouncement of divorce for you. The
Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) took the same decision.
2184
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: The divorce of a slave-woman consists in saying it twice and
her waiting period is two menstrual courses (qur') AbuAsim said: A
similar tradition has been narrated to me by Muzahir and al-Qasim on
the authority of Aisha from the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), except
that he said: And her waiting period ('iddah) is two courses.
2185
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: There is no divorce except in what you possess; there is no
possession, there is no sale transaction till you possess. The
narrator Ibn as-Sabbah added: There is no fulfilling a vow till you
possess.
2188
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Muhammad ibn Ubayd ibn AbuSalih who
lived in Ayliya said: I went out with Adi ibn Adi al-Kindi till we
came to Mecca. He sent me to Safiyyah daughter of Shaybah who
remembered a tradition (that she had heard) from Aisha. She said: I
heard Aisha say: I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
say: There is no divorce or emancipation in case of constraint or
duress (ghalaq).
2189
Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: There
are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are
treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after
a divorce which is not final)
2190
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Divorced women shall wait concerning
themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to
hide what Allah hath created in their wombs. This means that if a
man divorced his wife he had the right to take her back in marriage
though he had divorced her by three pronouncements. This was then
repealed (by a Qur'anic verse). Divorce is only permissible twice.
2191
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Abdu Yazid, the father of Rukanah and
his brothers, divorced Umm Rukanah and married a woman of the tribe
of Muzaynah. She went to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said:
He is of no use to me except that he is as useful to me as a hair;
and she took a hair from her head. So separate me from him. The
Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) became furious. He called on Rukanah and
his brothers. He then said to those who were sitting beside him. Do
you see so-and-so who resembles Abdu Yazid in respect of so-and-so;
and so-and-so who resembles him in respect of so-and-so? They
replied: Yes. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said to Abdu Yazid:
Divorce her. Then he did so. He said: Take your wife, the mother of
Rukanah and his brothers, back in marriage. He said: I have divorced
her by three pronouncements, Apostle of Allah. He said: I know: take
her back. He then recited the verse: "O Prophet, when you divorce
women, divorce them at their appointed periods."
2194
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Tawus said: AbusSahba' said to Ibn
Abbas: Do you know that a divorce by three pronouncements was made a
single one during the time of the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), and
of AbuBakr and in the early days of the caliphate of Umar? He
replied: Yes.
2198
Narrated AbuHurayrah: Hammad ibn Zayd said: I asked Ayyub: Do you
know anyone who narrates the tradition narrated by Al-Hasan about
uttering the words (addressing wife). "Your matter is in your hand"?
He replied: No, except something similar transmitted by Qatadah from
Kathir, the client of Samurah, from AbuSalamah on the authority of
AbuHurayrah from the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him). Ayyub said: Kathir
then came to us; so I asked him (about this matter). He replied: I
never narrated it. I mentioned it to Qatadah who said: Yes (he
narrated it) but he forgot.
2202
Narrated Rukanah ibn Abdu Yazid: (Rukanah) divorced his wife
absolutely; so he came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
He asked (him): What did you intend? He said: A single utterance of
divorce. He said: Do you swear by Allah? He replied: I swear by
Allah. He said: It stands as you intended.
2204
Narrated Tamimah al-Hujayni: A man said to his wife: O my younger
sister! The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)said: Is she your
sister? He (the Prophet disliked it and prohibited saying so.
2207
Narrated Salamah ibn Sakhr al-Bayadi: I was a man who was more
given than others to sexual intercourse with women. When the month
of Ramadan came, I feared lest I should have intercourse with my
wife, and this evil should remain with me till the morning. So I
made my wife like my mother's back to me till the end of Ramadan.
But one night when she was waiting upon me, something of her was
revealed. Suddenly I jumped upon her. When the morning came I went
to my people and informed them about this matter. I said: Go along
with me to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him). They said: No,
by Allah. So I went to the Prophet (peace be upon him and informed
him of the matter. He said: Have you really committed it, Salamah? I
said: I committed it twice, Apostle of Allah. I am content with the
Commandment of Allah, the Exalted; so take a decision about me
according to what Allah has shown you. He said: Free a slave. I
said: By Him Who sent you with truth, I do not possess a neck other
than this: and I struck the surface of my neck. He said: Then fast
two consecutive months. I said: Whatever I suffered is due to
fasting. He said: Feed sixty poor people with a wasq of dates. I
said: By Him Who sent you with truth, we passed the night hungry;
there was no food in our house. He said: Then go to the collector of
sadaqah of Banu Zurayq; he must give it to you. Then feed sixty poor
people with a wasq of dates; and you and your family eat the
remaining dates. Then I came back to my people, and said (to them):
I found with you poverty and bad opinion; and I found with the
Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) prosperity and good opinion. He has
commanded me to give alms to you. Ibn al-Ala' added: Ibn Idris said:
Bayadah is a sub-clan of Banu Zurayq.
2208
Narrated Khuwaylah, daughter of Malik ibn Tha'labah: My husband,
Aws ibn as-Samit, pronounced the words: You are like my mother. So I
came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him), complaining to him
about my husband. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) disputed
with me and said: Remain dutiful to Allah; he is your cousin. I
continued (complaining) until the Qur'anic verse came down: "Allah
hath heard the words of her who disputeth with thee concerning her
husband...." till the prescription of expiation. He then said: He
should set free a slave. She said: He cannot afford it. He said: He
should fast for two consecutive months. She said: Apostle of Allah,
he is an old man; he cannot keep fasts. He said: He should feed
sixty poor people. She said: He has nothing which he may give in
alms. At that moment an araq (i.e. date-basket holding fifteen or
sixteen sa's) was brought to him. I said: I shall help him with
another date-basked ('araq). He said: You have done well. Go and
feed sixty poor people on his behalf, and return to your cousin. The
narrator said: An araq holds sixty sa's of dates.
2212
Narrated Urwah: Khawlah was the wife of Aws ibn as-Samit; he was a
man immensely given to sexual intercourse. When his desire for
intercourse was intensified, he made his wife like his mother's
back. So Allah, the Exalted, sent down Qur'anic verses relating to
expiation for zihar.
2214
Narrated Ikrimah: A man made his wife like the back of his mother.
He then had intercourse with her before he atoned for it. He came to
the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and informed him of this matter. He
asked (him): What moved you to the action you have committed? He
replied: I saw the whiteness of her shins in moon light. He said:
Keep away from her until you expiate for your deed.
2218
Narrated Thawban: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If any
woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the
odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her.
2219
Narrated Habibah, daughter of Sahl al-Ansariyyah: Amrah, daughter
of AbdurRahman ibn Sa'd ibn Zurarah, reported on the authority of
Habibah, daughter of Sahl al-Ansariyyah: She (Habibah) was the wife
of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shimmas. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
came out one morning and found Habibah by his door. The Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Who is this? She replied: I am
Habibah, daughter of Sahl. He asked: What is your case? She replied:
I and Thabit ibn Qays, referring to her husband, cannot live
together. When Thabit ibn Qays came, the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said to him: This is Habibah, daughter of Sahl, and she has
mentioned (about you) what Allah wished to mention. Habibah said:
Apostle of Allah, all that he gave me is with me. The Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said to Thabit ibn Qays: Take it from her.
So he took it from her, and she lived among her people (relatives).
2220
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Habibah daughter of Sahl was the
wife of Thabit ibn Qays Shimmas He beat her and broke some of her
part. So she came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) after morning,
and complained to him against her husband. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
called on Thabit ibn Qays and said (to him): Take a part of her
property and separate yourself from her. He asked: Is that right,
Apostle of Allah? He said: Yes. He said: I have given her two
gardens of mine as a dower, and they are already in her possession.
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Take them and separate
yourself from her.
2221
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The wife of Thabit ibn Qays separated
herself from him for a compensation. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
made her waiting period a menstrual course.
2228
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Barirah was emancipated, and she
was the wife of Mughith, a slave of Aal AbuAhmad. The Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him) gave her choice, and said to her: If he
has intercourse with you, then there is no choice for you.
2229
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Al-Qasim said: Aisha intended to
set free two slaves of her who were spouses. She, therefore, asked
the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) about this matter. He commanded to
begin with the man before the woman. The narrator Nasr said: AbuAli
al-Hanafi reported it to me on the authority of Ubaydullah.
2230
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A man came after embracing Islam
during the time of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
Afterwards his wife came after embracing Islam. He said: Apostle of
Allah, she embraced Islam along with me; so restore her to me.
2231
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A woman embraced Islam during the time
of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him); she then married. Her
(former) husband then came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and
said: Apostle of Allah, I have already embraced Islam, and she had
the knowledge about my Islam. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
took her away from her latter husband and restored her to her former
husband.
2232
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
restored his daughter Zaynab to Abul'As on the basis of the previous
marriage, and he did not do anything afresh.
2233
Narrated Al-Harith ibn Qays al-Asadi: I embraced Islam while I had
eight wives. So I mentioned it to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him).
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Select four of them.
2235
Narrated Fayruz ad-Daylami al-Yamani: I said: Apostle of Allah, I
have embraced Islam and two sisters are my wives. He said: Divorce
any one of them you wish.
2236
Narrated Rafi' ibn Sinan: AbdulHamid ibn Ja'far reported from his
father on the authority of his grandfather Rafi' ibn Sinan that he (Rafi'
ibn Sinan) embraced Islam and his wife refused to embrace Islam. She
came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: My daughter; she
is weaned or about to wean. Rafi' said: My daughter. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said to him: Be seated on a side. And he said to her: Be seated on a
side. He then seated the girl between them, and said to them: Call
her. The girl inclined to her mother. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: O Allah! guide her. The daughter then inclined to her father,
and he took her.
2247
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: When the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
ordered a man and his wife to invoke curses on each other, he
ordered a man to put his hand on his mouth when he came to the fifth
utterance, saying that it would be the deciding one.
2247a
Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: Hilal ibn Umayyah was one of three
people whose repentance was accepted by Allah. One night he returned
from his land and found a man with his wife. He witnessed with his
eyes and heard with his ears. He did not threaten him till the
morning. Next day he went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
in the morning, and said: Apostle of Allah! I came to my wife at
night and found a man with her. I saw with my own eyes and heard
with my own ears. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) disliked
what he described and he took it seriously. Thereupon the following
Qur'anic verse came down: "And those who make charges against their
spouses but have no witnesses except themselves, let the testimony
of one of them...." When the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
came to himself (after the revelation ended), he said: Glad tidings
for you, Hilal. Allah, the Exalted, has made it easy and, a way out
for you. Hilal said: I expected that from my Lord. The Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Send for her. She then came. The
Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) recited (the verses) to them
that the punishment in the next world was more severe than that in
this world. Hilal said: I swear by Allah, I spoke the truth against
her. She said: He told a lie. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: Apply the method of invoking curses on each other. Hilal was
told: Bear witness. So he bore witness before Allah four times that
he spoke the truth. When he was about to utter a fifth time, he was
told: Hilal, fear Allah, for the punishment in this world is easier
than that in the next world; and this is the deciding one that will
surely cause punishment to you. He said: I swear by Allah. Allah
will not punish me for this (act), as He did not cause me to be
flogged for this (act). So he bore witness a fifth time invoking the
curse of Allah on him if he was one of those who told lies. Then the
people said to her: Testify. So she gave testimony before Allah that
he was a liar. When she was going to testify a fifth time, she was
told: Fear Allah, for the punishment in this world is easier than
that in the next world. This is the deciding one that will surely
cause punishment to you. She hesitated for a moment, and then said:
By Allah, I shall not disgrace my people. So she testified a fifth
time invoking the curse of Allah on her if he spoke the truth. The
Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) separated them from each other,
and decided that the child would not be attributed to its father.
Neither she nor her child would be accused of adultery. He who
accused her or her child would be liable to punishment. He also
decided that there would be no dwelling and maintenance for her
(from the husband), as they were separated without divorce. He then
said: If she gives birth to a child with reddish hair, light
buttocks, wide belly and light shins, he will be the child of Hilal.
If she bears a dusky child with curly hair, fat limbs, fat shins and
fat buttock he will be the child of the one who was accused of
adultery. She gave birth to a dusky child with curly hair, fat
limbs, fat shins and fat buttocks. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: Had there been no oaths I should have dealt with her severely.
Ikrimah said: Later on he became the chief of the tribe of Mudar. He
was not attributed to his father.
2255
Narrated AbuHurayrah: A bedouin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him),
and said: My wife has given birth to a black son, and I disown him.
He then narrated the rest of the tradition to the same effect.
2256
Narrated AbuHurayrah: AbuHurayrah heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
say when the verse about invoking curses came down: Any woman who
brings to her family one who does not belong to it has nothing to do
with Allah (i.e. expects no mercy from Allah), and Allah will not
bring her into His Paradise. Allah, the Exalted, will veil Himself
from any man who disowns his child when he looks at him, and
disgrace him in the presence of all creatures, first and last.
2257
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said:
There is no prostitution in Islam. If anyone practised prostitution
in pre-Islamic times, the child will be attributed to the master (of
the slave-woman). He who claims his child without a valid marriage
or ownership will neither inherit nor be inherited.
2258
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
decided regarding one who was treated as a member of a family after
the death of his father, to whom he was attributed when the heirs
said he was one of them, that if he was the child of a slave-woman
whom the father owned when he had intercourse with her, he was
included among those who sought his inclusion, but received none of
the inheritance which was previously divided; he, however, received
his portion of the inheritance which had not already been divided;
but if the father to whom he was attributed had disowned him, he was
not joined to the heirs. If he was a child of a slave-woman whom the
father did not possess or of a free woman with whom he had illicit
intercourse, he was not joined to the heirs and did not inherit even
if the one to whom he was attributed is the one who claimed
paternity, since he was a child of fornication whether his mother
was free or a slave.
2260
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
entered upon me. The version of Musaddad and Ibn as-Sarh has: one
day looking pleased". The version of Uthman has: "The lines of his
forehead were realised." He said: O Aisha, are you not surprised to
hear that Mujazziz al-Mudlaji saw that Zayd and Usamah had a rug
over them concerning their heads and letting their feet appear. He
said: These feet are related.
2262
Narrated Zayd ibn Arqam: I was sitting with the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him).
A man came from the Yemen, and said: Three men from the people of
the Yemen came to Ali, quarrelling about a child, asking him to give
a decision. They had had sexual intercourse with a woman during a
single state of purity. He said to two of them: Give this child to
this man (the third person) with pleasure. But they (refused and)
cried loudly. Again he said to two of them: Give the child to the
man (the third person) willingly. But they (refused and) cried
loudly. He then said: You are quarrelsome partners. I shall cast
lots among you; he who receives the lot, will acquire the child, and
he shall pay two-thirds of the blood-money to both his companions.
He then cast lots among them, and gave the child to the one who
received the lot. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) laughed
so much that his canine or molar teeth appeared.
2263
Narrated Zayd ibn Arqam: Three persons were brought to Ali (Allah
be pleased with him) when he was in the Yemen. They and sexual
intercourse with a woman during a single state of purity. He asked
two of them: Do you acknowledge this child for this (man)? They
replied: No. He then put this (question) to all of them. Whenever he
asked two of them, they replied in the negative. He, therefore, cast
a lot among them, and attributed the child to the one who received
the lot. He imposed two-third of the blood-money (i.e. the price of
the mother) on him. This was then mentioned to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
and he laughed so much that his molar teeth appeared.
2267
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: A man got up and said:
Apostle of Allah, so-and-so is my son; I had illicit intercourse
with his mother in the pre-Islamic period. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: There is no unlawful claiming of paternity in Islam. What was
done in pre-Islamic times has been annulled. The child is attributed
to the one on whose bed it is born, and the fornicator is deprived
of any right.
2268
Narrated Uthman ibn Affan: Rabah said: My people married me to a
Roman slave-girl of theirs. I had intercourse with her, and she gave
birth to a black (male) child like me. I named it Abdullah. I again
had intercourse with her, and she gave birth to a black (male) child
like me. I named it Ubaydullah. Then a Roman slave of my people,
called Yuhannah, incited her, and spoke to her in his own
unintelligible language. She gave birth to a son like a chameleon
(red). I asked her: What is this? She replied: This belongs to
Yuhannah. We then brought the case to Uthman (for a decision). I
think Mahdi said these words. He inquired from both of them, and
they acknowledged (the facts). He then said to them: Do you agree
that I take the decision about you, which the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
had taken? The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) decided that the
child was to attributed to the one on whose bed it was born. And I
think he said: He flogged her and flogged him, for they were slaves.
2269
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: A woman said: Apostle of
Allah, my womb is a vessel to this son of mine, my breasts, a
water-skin for him, and my lap a guard for him, yet his father has
divorced me, and wants to take him away from me. The Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: You have more right to him as long
as you do not marry.
2270
Narrated AbuHurayrah: Hilal ibn Usamah quoted AbuMaymunah Salma,
client of the people of Medina, as saying: While I was sitting with
AbuHurayrah, a Persian woman came to him along with a son of hers.
She had been divorced by her husband and they both claimed him. She
said: AbuHurayrah, speaking to him in Persian, my husband wishes to
take my son away. AbuHurayrah said: Cast lots for him, saying it to
her in a foreign language. Then her husband came and asked: Who is
disputing with me about my son? AbuHurayrah said: O Allah, I do not
say this, except that I heard a woman who came to the Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him) while I was sitting with him, and she
said: My husband wishes to take away my son, Apostle of Allah, and
he draws water for me from the well of AbuInabah, and he has been
good to me. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Cast lots
for him. Her husband said: Who is disputing with me about my son?
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: This is your father and this
your mother, so take whichever of them you wish by the hand. So he
took his mother's hand and she went away with him.
2271
Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: Zayd ibn Harithah went out to Mecca and
brought the daughter of Hamzah with him. Then Ja'far said: I shall
take her; I have more right to her; she is my uncle's daughter and
her maternal aunt is my wife; the maternal aunt is like mother. Ali
said: I am more entitled to take her. She is my uncle's daughter.
The daughter of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) is my wife,
and she has more right to her. Zayd said: I have more right to her.
I went out and journeyed to her, and brought her with me. The
Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) came out. The narrator mentioned the
rest of the tradition. He (i.e. the Prophet) said: As for the girl,
I decided in favour of Ja'far. She will live with her maternal aunt.
The maternal aunt is like mother.
2273
Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: When we came out from Mecca, Hamzah's
daughter pursued us crying: My uncle. Ali lifted her and took her by
the hand. (Addressing Fatimah he said:) Take your uncle's daughter.
She then lifted her. The narrator then transmitted the rest of the
tradition. Ja'far said: She is my uncle's daughter. Her maternal
aunt is my wife. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) decided in favour
of her maternal aunt, and said: The maternal aunt is like mother.
2274
Narrated Asma bint Yazid al-Ansariyyah: Amr ibn Muhajir reported on
the authority of his father: Asma', daughter of Yazid ibn as-Sakan
al-Ansariyyah, was divorced in the time of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
No waiting period was prescribed for a divorced woman (at that
time). When Asma' was divorced, Allah, the Exalted, sent down the
injunction of waiting period for divorce. She is the first of the
divorced women about whom the verse relating to waiting period was
sent down.
2275
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: Women who are divorced shall wait,
keeping themselves apart, three monthly courses; and then said: And
for such of your women as despair of menstruation, if ye doubt,
their period (of waiting) shall be three months. This was abrogated
from the former verse. Again he said: (O ye who believe, if ye wed
believing women) and divorce them before ye have touched them, then
there is no period that ye should reckon."
2276
Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
divorced Hafsah, but he took her back in marriage.
2282
Narrated Fatimah daughter of Qays: AbuSalamah reported on the
authority of Fatimah daughter of Qays who said to him that she was
the wife of AbuHafs ibn al-Mughirah who divorced her by three
pronouncements. She said that she came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
and sought his opinion about her going out from her house. He
commanded her to shift to (the house of )Ibn Umm Maktum who was
blind. Marwan denied to confirm the tradition of Fatimah about the
going out of a divorced woman from her house. Urwah said: Aisha
objected to Fatimah daughter of Qays.
2285
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Urwah said: Aisha (Allah be pleased
with her) severely objected to the tradition of Fatimah daughter of
Qays. She said: Fatimah lived in a desolate house and she feared for
her loneliness there. Hence the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
accorded permission to her (to leave the place).
2286
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Urwah ibn az-Zubayr said: Aisha was
asked: Did you not see (i.e. known) the statement of Fatimah? She
replied: It is not good for her to mention it (to others).
2288
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Al-Qasim ibn Muhammad and Sulayman
ibn Yasar reported: Yahya ibn Sa'id ibn al-'As divorced the daughter
of AbdurRahman ibn al-Hakam absolutely. AbdurRahman shifted her
(from there). Aisha sent a message to Marwan ibn al-Hakam who was
the governor of Medina, and said to him: Fear Allah, and return the
woman to her home. Marwan said (according to Sulayman's version):
AbdurRahman forced me. Marwan said (according to the version of al-Qasim):
Did not the case of Fatimah daughter of Qays reach you? Aisha
replied: There would be no harm to you if you did not make mention
of the tradition of Fatimah. Marwan said: If you think that it was
due to some evil (i.e. reason), then it is sufficient for you to see
that there is also an evil between the two.
2292
Narrated Umm Salamah ; Umm Habibah ; Zaynab bint Jahsh: Humayd ibn
Nafi' reported the following three traditions on the authority of
Zaynab, daughter of AbuSalamah: Zaynab said: I visited Umm Habibah
when her father AbuSufyan, died. She asked for some yellow perfume
containing saffron (khaluq) or something else. Then she applied it
to a girl and touched her cheeks. She said: I have no need of
perfume, but I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say:
It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day
to observe mourning for one who has died, more than three nights,
except for four months and ten days in the case of a husband. Zaynab
said: I also visited Zaynab, daughter of Jahsh, when her brother
died. She asked for some perfume and used it upon herself. She then
said: I have no need of perfume, but I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
say when he was on the pulpit: It is not lawful for a woman who
believes in Allah and the Last Day to observe mourning for one who
has died, more than three nights, except for four months and ten
days in the case of a husband. Zaynab said: I heard my mother, Umm
Salamah, say: A woman came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
and said: Apostle of Allah, the husband of my daughter has died, and
she is suffering from sore eyes; may we put antimony in her eyes?
The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: No. He said this
twice or thrice. Each time he said: No. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
said: The waiting period is now four months and ten days. In
pre-Islamic days one of you used to throw away a piece of dung at
the end of a year. Humayd said: I asked Zaynab: What do you mean by
throwing away a piece of dung at the end of a year. Zaynab replied:
When the husband of a woman died, she entered a small cell and put
on shabby clothes, not touching perfume or any other thing until a
year passed. Then an animal such as donkey or sheep or bird was
provided for her. She rubbed herself with it. The animal with which
she rubbed herself rarely survived. She then came out and was given
a piece of dung which she threw away. She then used perfume or
something else which she desired.
2293
Narrated Furay'ah, daughter of Malik ibn Sinan: Zaynab, daughter of
Ka'b ibn Ujrah narrated that Furay'ah daughter of Malik ibn Sinan,
told her that she came to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
and asked him whether she could return to her people, Banu Khidrah,
for her husband went out seeking his slaves who ran away. When they
met him at al-Qudum, they murdered him. So I asked the Apostle of
Allah (peace_be_upon_him): "Should I return to my people, for he did
not leave any dwelling house of his own and maintenance for me? She
said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) replied: Yes. She
said: I came out, and when I was in the apartment or in the mosque,
he called for me, or he commanded (someone to call me) and,
therefore, I was called. He said: what did you say? So I repeated my
story which I had already mentioned about my husband. Thereupon he
said: Stay in your house till the term lapses. She said: So I passed
my waiting period in it (her house) for four months and ten days.
When Uthman ibn Affan became caliph, he sent for me and asked me
about that; so I informed him, and he followed it and decided cases
accordingly.
2297
Narrated Umm Salamah, Ummul Mu'minin: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him)
said: A woman whose husband has died must not wear clothes dyed with
safflower (usfur) or with red ochre (mishq) and ornaments. She must
not apply henna and collyrium.
2298
Narrated Umm Salamah, Ummul Mu'minin: Umm Hakim, daughter of Usayd,
reported on the authority of her mother that her husband died and
she was suffering from sore eyes. She therefore applied collyrium (jala').
Ahmad said: The correct version is "glittering collyrium (kuhl al-jala').
She sent her slave-girl to Umm Salamah, and she asked her about the
use of glittering collyrium (kuhl al-jala'). She said: Do not apply
it except in the case of dire need which is troubling you. In that
case you can use it at night, but you should remove it in the
daytime. Then Umm Salamah said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
came to visit me when AbuSalamah died, and I had put the juice of
aloes in my eye. He asked : What is this, Umm Salamah? I replied: It
is only the juice of aloes and contains no perfume. He said: It
gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in
daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a
dye. I asked: What should I use when I comb myself, Apostle of
Allah? He said: Use lote-tree leaves and smear your head copiously
with them.
2300
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: I can invoke the curse of Allah on
anyone who wishes: The smaller surat an-Nisa (i.e. Surat at-Talaq)
was revealed after the verse regarding the waiting period of four
months and ten days had been revealed.
2301
Narrated Amr ibn al-'As: Do not confuse us about his Sunnah. Ibn
al-Muthanna said: The Sunnah of our Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) is
that the waiting period of a slave-mother whose husband has died is
four months and ten days.
2302
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him)
was asked about a man who divorced his wife three times, and she
married another who entered upon her, but divorced her before having
intercourse with her, whether she was lawful for the former husband.
She said: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) replied: She is not lawful
for the first (husband) until she tastes the honey of the other
husband and he tastes her honey.
2304
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: Musaykah, a slave-girl of some Ansari,
came and said: My master forces me to commit fornication. Thereupon
the following verse was revealed: "But force not your maids to
prostitution (when they desire chastity)."
Women After
Marriage - Part I
Page Content: Part 1-Part 2-Part
3-Part 4- Part 5
The Institution of Marriage
The Quranic point of view with regard to the institution of marriage
is based on the following principles and laws:
Interdependence of man and woman in ensuring fullness of life for
each other through mutual affection, mutual confidence and mutual
protection, as husband and wife has been stressed by using a
metaphor of profound beauty: "They are a garment unto you and you
are a garment unto them" (2:187)
For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation. The Quran
says: "Marry those among you who are single, and the pious among
your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give
them means out of His Grace: Allah is of ample means, and He is
aware of all things." (24: 32)
Contrast it with the attitude of those religions, which advocate
celibacy and idolize it as the ideal of perfection, considering
sexual satisfaction even in the bond of marriage as a positive evil
from the spiritual point of view. Thus, in Christianity: "As an
institution, Jesus regards marriage as essentially physical and
intended only for the present age. Those who were to share in the
blessings of the eschatological kingdom would neither marry nor be
given in marriage but would be possessed of the non-physical body in
the resurrection." [1].
It was this outlook on sex which led to the rule that no man or
woman, married or unmarried, who had performed the sex act the
previous night, should take part in a Church festival or in the
Eucharist. [2].
Christianity, writes the Sociologist Ludovici, "preaches that sex is
to be deplored, to be avoided, and, if possible, negatived. And the
Puritan, who may be regarded as the extreme Christian, is notorious
for his implacable loathing of sex." [3]
Marriage is a social contract. The word Nikah, used for marriage in
the Holy Quraan, originally means Aqd, according to Imam Raaghib
Asfahaani [4] (alaihir rahmah). Thus, the very word Nikah implies
that marriage is a social contract, and not a sacrament, although it
is a sacred contract. Moreover, the Quraanic permission to terminate
the relation of marriage, if it becomes absolutely impossible for
the husband and the wife to continue that relation, proves that the
Quraan regards marriage as a social contract only.
Women are not to be treated as property [5]. The Quraan says: "O ye
who believe! You are forbidden to inherit (as property) the women
against their will." (4:19)
Marriage with persons of certain categories has been prohibited. The
Holy Quraan has prohibited marriage with all those who may stand in
the relations of consanguinity, or affinity, or fosterage. Almighty
Allah states; "Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters
and sisters and your father's sisters and mother's sisters and your
brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your mothers
who have such to you and your foster sisters and the mothers of your
wives and daughters (your step-daughters) who are in your care from
the wives with whom you had intercourse but if you had no
intercourse with them, then there is no Haraam in their daughters,
and the wives of your sons who are of your loins and to have two
sisters together except what has already passed [6]. Undoubtedly,
Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (4: 23)
Choosing a Husband
Islam has established that every marriage must be preceded by the
consent of the woman who is to be married, whether she is a virgin
or a woman who had a previous marriage. Her consent must be obtained
before her father or the guardian can act for her in any marriage
contract.
Indeed, when a marriage is conducted, the government registrar or
other official or the Qaadi must satisfy himself that he has the
woman's full agreement. If someone is acting for her as her
guardian, the Qaadi will ask him to produce two witnesses who
testify that she has authorized him to act for her in this marriage.
Several Hadith tell us that a previously married woman has more
authority over herself than her guardian. A virgin must be asked
concerning her marriage. Her consent may be given by keeping quiet.
[7] The distinction here between a previously married woman and a
virgin is merely in the form of how consent is granted. A virgin may
be too shy to state in words that she accepts to be married, while a
previously married woman has learned practically that there is
nothing to be shy about in marriage.
Matchmaking
After the girl attains adulthood, her parents should find a good
match and marry her. During the matchmaking exercise, the parents
should abstain from establishing matrimonial relations with families
of wrongdoers like Wahabis, Deobandis, Shi'ites, Ahl-e-Hadith [8],
etc. They should give the hand of their daughter into the hand of a
Sunni boy who sincerely follows the Sharee'ah and the ways of the
Ahle-Sunnah wa Jama'at [9].
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: See four
things before marrying a woman:
Wealth,
Status of the family,
Physical looks and
Piety.
The Holy Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) added that
religiousness should be given priority at the time of matchmaking.
Marriage fulfils the purpose of expanding the generation. It also
saves man from illicit relations with other women. Nikah carries
high rewards.
A Hadith says: It is written in the Torah, "If a man's daughter
attains the age of twelve and he does not arrange her wedding and if
the girl gets involved in immoral activities, the father will be
punished for the sins of his daughter."
Another Hadith says: The Apostle of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi
wasallam) said, "Allah the Almighty has taken the responsibility of
helping three persons:
The slave who pledges to pay an amount to his master to get freedom
and has total conviction to fulfill the pledge.
One who fights in the way of Allah.
The man or women who intends to go for marriage to avoid illicit
relations with the opposite sex."
Forced Marriage is not acceptable
The idea of a woman being forced into a marriage against her own
wishes is not acceptable from the Islamic point of view. A woman
came to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) and
complained that her father had married her to his nephew without
asking her consent first. She stated that the purpose of that
marriage was that her father wanted his reputation enhanced through
that marriage. The Glorious Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi
wasallam) annulled that marriage. When he had done so, and the woman
was free again, she said to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi
wasallam): Now I am free. I willingly consent to this marriage. I
only wanted it to be known that men have no say over
women in their marriages.
It is often thought that because a father acts for his daughter in
marriage, he can marry her to whomever he likes, without seeking her
consent. People, who suggest this, make a very superficial judgment.
By requiring a father or a guardian to act for the woman in her
marriage, Islam emphasizes the woman's honor. Marriage in Islam is
the way to establish a family, and this is conducted through
families. Therefore, the woman appears to have the consent of her
family to her own marriage. She does not appear as the weaker party
in a civil contract.
There is no rigid process of choosing a husband. If a man proposes
to a family seeking to marry one of their daughters, then he must
have based his choice on either first hand knowledge or proper
investigation. Similarly, if the woman's family makes the approach,
then it must be based on a good knowledge of the man and his
character.
As we all know, Islam does not permit the sort of free-mixing
between the sexes, which is known in Western societies. If some
aspects of that social mixing is practiced among certain sections of
society in Muslim countries, then that is something Islam disallows.
In a certain situation, a woman is able to know the character and
nature of a man and she feels, on the basis of her knowledge, that
he can make her a very good husband. It is perfectly conceivable
that a woman can acquire such knowledge of a man, either because he
is her colleague at work, or because she has had a chance to see him
acting in different situations. Such knowledge would enable her to
understand his character and to find out that he can be a good
family man.
When a woman has known such a man and wishes to marry him, she
should speak to her family about it. Her father or guardian will
take over and speak to the man either directly or through
intermediaries. All this is appropriate. What is not appropriate
from the Islamic point of view is that the woman should try to get
the man into a love relationship with her as it happens in films or
in Western societies.
If a woman selects a man as her future husband and he is considered
to be good for her from the social point of view, then the father is
required to facilitate her marriage.
Sayyidah Hafsah bint Omar (radi Allahu anha), Sayyiduna Omar's -
radi Allahu anhu daughter, became a widow when her husband, Khunais
bin Huthafah (radi Allahu anhu), who was a companion of Sayyiduna
Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), passed away in Madinatul
Munawwara Munawwara. Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) reports: I
went to Uthman bin Affaan (radi Allahu anhu) and offered him Hafsah
(radi Allahu anha) saying, If you wish, I will give you Hafsah (radi
Allahu anha) as a wife. He said, I will consider the matter. I
waited for a few days, then Uthman (radi Allahu anhu) met me and
said, I have considered the matter and I do not wish to be married
now.
Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) goes on in his report: I then met
Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and said, If you wish, I will give you
Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) in marriage. Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu)
kept quiet and gave no answer whatsoever. I felt more aggrieved with
him than I was with Uthman (radi Allahu anhu). After a few days,
Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) proposed to marry
Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) and I gave her away in marriage to him. I
then met Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and he said, You might have
felt something against me when you offered me Hafsah (radi Allahu
anha) and I gave no reply. I answered in the affirmative. He said,
What prevented me from answering your proposal was that I had
learned that Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) had
expressed his wish to marry her. I am not one who reveals the
Prophet's (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) secret.
Witnesses are necessary in Nikah
Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is quoted to
have said: "No marriage may be made without the presence of the
woman's guardian and two responsible witnesses."
The majority of Ulama concur that a woman may not give herself away
in marriage, but her guardian (as a representing Wakeel) must act on
her behalf by the virtue of her permission in her Nikah to a man.
Nor can she give an authority to anyone else to act for her in
marriage. Moreover, a woman cannot act (as a Wakeel) for another
woman in a marriage contract. (That is to say: even a mother
cannot.)
As for the person who should be her guardian for marriage purposes,
there is no doubt that it is her father. If he is available, then no
one else may act for her. If her father is not available, either
because he is dead or mentally deranged, then her paternal
grandfather or great grandfather may act for her. If she has no
father or grandfather, her brother will act for her or any family
elder as agreed by the family and woman.
It should be said that the condition of a guardian to act for a
woman in her marriage does not detract from her the ability or the
qualification to make the right choice. Indeed, any such guardian
should have her consent before he goes ahead with the marriage
arrangements. His presence is required not as a witness but as her
representative. This is an aspect of the honorable position that
Islam assigns to women. Moreover, it reflects on the seriousness
with which Islam views marriage. It is a family matter, which is
conducted by families. Moreover, when family represents the woman,
this is more conducive to ensuring that her husband respects her
rights. Besides, the nature of society Islam builds is one in which
the woman normally takes her natural position, looking after the
future generation. That is bound to limit her social activities a
little. Her judgment of people, especially of men and their
characters may, as a result, needs to be supplemented by that of
other men in her family.
If a woman marries herself away without the presence of her father
or appointed guardian, then her marriage is invalid because there no
witnesses as required by the Sharee'ah. The Beloved Habeeb (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam) is quoted to have said: "A woman does not
marry another woman away and a woman does not marry herself away.
Only an adulteress gives herself away in marriage." [10]
Sayyiduna Imam Ahmad (alaihir rahmah) and Abu Da'ood relate on the
authority of Sayyidah Ayesha (radi Allahu anha) that the Messenger
of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Any woman who marries
herself away without the consent of her guardian, her marriage is
invalid, invalid, invalid!" [11]
Thus we are to understand that the Sharee'ah requires one to
announce Nikah either in public or in the presence of witnesses so
that the Muslim society does not fall into any doubt about the
legitimate relation of two individuals.
A woman, until she gets married, is called the daughter of her
parents. After the marriage, she becomes somebody's wife. Now she
has much more responsibilities and duties than ever. She has to
fulfill additional duties towards her husband. She should be sincere
and faithful to her husband and serve him with utmost dedication.
[1] Hastings, Dictionary of the Bible, II, p.138
[2] Scott: History of Prostitution, pp.72, and 73
[3] Woman, p.5
[4] Refer Mufradaat-ul-Qur'an by Imam Raaghib Asfahaani; Aqd means
contract
[5] A woman in marriage is not a slave but a partner in trust which
should not be abused in any way. They should the coolness of the
husband's eye and likewise, the wife should not do things to offend
the husband and become a thorn in his eye.
[6] To have two blood sisters in marriage at the same time is Haraam
in Islam. One may marry another sister only after the death of one.
[7] Nisaai, Ibn-e-Majah
[8] The corrupted Sects that have deviated from Islam due to their
false Aqaa'id.
[9] The Group of Salvation or the Majority Group about whom
Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said would
enter Jannah.
[10] This Hadith Shareef refers to those who marry in secrecy
without any witnesses. This is forbidden in Islam as such secrecy
creates great doubts in the Muslim society and the identity of the
child.
[11] This Hadith Shareef supports the above Hadith Shareef.
Women After Marriage - Part 2
The Holy Quraan says: "So the righteous women are obedient (to Allah
and submissive to their husbands), and guard in (the husband's)
absence what Allah would have them guard (i.e., their chastity and
the prestige and property of the husband)" (4: 34)
As a wife, side by side with enjoying equal fundamental human
rights, a woman has been placed one degree below the husband in the
matter of administering the affairs of the family. The Quraan says:
"but men have a degree (of advantage) over them" (2:228)
For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation. The Quran
says: "Marry those among you who are single, and the pious among
your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give
them means out of His Grace: Allah is of ample means, and He is
aware of all things." (24: 32)
Compare this with the following verdicts of the exponents of modern
scientific thought on this problem.
Says Nemilov: "Man, perhaps even down to the protein molecules of
his tissue cells, is biologically different from woman. From the
very moment of sex formation in the embryo, the biological ducting
of the sexes develops along entirely divergent paths. We must
recognize the unquestionable existence of the biological inequality
of the sexes. It goes deeper and is of far greater import than it
would appear to those not familiar with natural science." [1]
The desires and conduct of the two sexes, says Mercier, "are not
similar but are complementary and reciprocal. In courtship the male
is active: his role is to court, to pursue, to possess, to control,
to protect, to love. The role of a female is passive. Consequent on
this fundamental difference are certain others. For pursuit, greater
ardor is necessary than for mere reception; and the courting
activity of the male is, throughout the whole animal kingdom, more
ardent than that of the female; and this greater ardor is connected
with certain other differences." [2].
Julian Huxley observes: "I venture to prophesy not only that the
inherent differences between the sexes will not tend to diminish in
the course of evolution but that man will continue, as now and in
the past, to emphasize them by custom and convention." [3]
It should, however, be clearly kept in mind that, in the Quraanic
teaching, the husband and the wife stand in complementary relation
to each other, and never in the relation of the ruler and the ruled.
The Quraan enjoins upon men: "They (women) are your garments and you
are their garments." (2:187)
In the presence of the husband, the Holy Quraan has not chosen her
to function as the head of the family, because owing to his
masculine constitution and appropriate mental make-up, the husband
is better equipped to earn livelihood for the family, to bear the
physical strains, and to avert dangers to the family in general. The
Holy Quraan refers to these functions of the husband when, speaking
of his role for the wife. It says: "Men are the protectors and
maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more
(strength) than the other, and because they spend of their wealth
(for supporting them and other members of the family)." (4: 34)
Of course, the husband has to administer the family jointly with the
wife, according to the Quraanic Law: "(Believers are those) who
conduct their affairs by mutual consultation (and not arbitrarily)."
(42: 38)
As a follower of the Quraan, it is only in extreme cases that the
husband may differ irreconcilably with the wife. But, then too, he
cannot transgress the bounds of justice and mercy of the Holy Quraan,
which commands him to be always just, merciful and considerate.
The second position of the wife as administrator is, thus, not a
source of suffering for her but a source of strength and a blessing.
Every woman must obey the legitimate commands of her husband.
Appeasement of husband is a great virtue while the displeasure of
the husband carries heavy prosecution. The Holy Prophet of Islam (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "If I were to command humans to
prostrate before anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded the
women to bow down before their husbands."
The Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said:
"If a woman dies in a state that her husband is happy with her, she
would enter the Paradise".
The Glorious Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said:
"When the husband calls his wife for some work, she should
immediately attend his call even if she may be sitting by the side
of her hearth (for cooking)". The Hadith means that the wife should
give top priority to attend to her husband.
Another Hadith says: "If a husband says to his wife to transform a
yellow mountain into a black one or turn a black mountain into a
white one, she should obey his orders". The Hadith means that the
woman should try to perform the hardest of the hard job assigned by
her husband.
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Allah's
Angels curse the woman throughout the night whose husband calls her
to bed but she refuses and the husband goes to sleep in anger".
Relations between husband and wife have been conceived as based on
mutual cooperation, love and compassion. The Holy Quraan says: "And
among His Signs is this that He created your mates from among
yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has
put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs
for those who reflect." (30: 21)
It means that: -
marriage is essentially a spiritual bond of union, rather than a
mere physical relationship;
marriage should be contracted with the firm resolve of maintaining
the relation for life;
Monogamy should be ideal, because that is the ideal condition in
which mutual cooperation, the common man can practice harmony and
love normally and smoothly.
Polygamy
The Holy Quraan has permitted polygamy on humanitarian grounds,
under exceptional circumstances, and with severe restrictive
conditions. The only Quraanic verse which contains the permission
for polygamous marriage, says: "And if you fear that you shall not
be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry of the women who seem
good to you, two and three and four; and if you fear that (in case
of having more wives than one) you shall not be able to deal justly
(with them) then (marry) only one (free woman) or (a captive) that
your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you
from doing injustice." (4: 3)
'Polygamy', says Roberts, "was the rule among the Eastern peoples
before Mohammad's time." [4]
Important points, worthy of being carefully noted are:
This verse doe not enjoin polygamy, but only permits it.
Unrestricted polygamy, which had been rampant among the pre-Quraanic
Arabs and many other nations of the world, has been restricted to
the maximum four. Fixing the maximum at four seems to be based on
the natural law relating to monthly courses, whereby the husband can
do justice in respect of conjugal relations even if he has the
maximum of four wives.
The permission relates to situations of emergency, and not to normal
conditions of life and society. This verse was revealed after the
Battle of Uhud, which gave rise to a situation of emergency.
Appreciable numbers of Muslim men were killed in the battle, leaving
behind orphans and widows, and giving rise to many adult females.
Also, there were some women captives of war. Polygamy was prescribed
for those who were Allah-fearing and whose sole mission in life was
spiritual refinement and pursuit of Divine Pleasure. Notice the
conditional clause about orphans, introducing the rules about
marriage. This reminds us of the immediate occasion of the
promulgation of this verse. It was after the Battle of Uhud, when
the Muslim community was left with many orphans and widows, and some
captives of war. Their treatment was to be governed by principles of
the greatest humanity and equality. The occasion is past, but the
principles remain. Marry the orphan if you are quite sure that you
will in that way protect their interests and their property, with
perfect justice to them and to your own dependants, if you have any.
If not, make other arrangements for the orphans.
The permission is based, not on considerations of lust, nor on any
benefit accruing to the marrying male, but on the principle of
sacrifice - of providing protection and support to orphans, while
undergoing a severe tension of dealing with all the wives.
The permission is conditioned by one's ability to deal equitably
with his wives, which even at the formal level is an extremely
difficult condition to fulfill except for those who are thoroughly
disciplined, stick to spiritual and moral values above everything
else, and enter into marriage for spiritual considerations - for the
sake of obtaining Divine Pleasure.
Thus, this verse, instead of inducing the men to practice polygamy,
recommends to them monogamy.
Finally, looking at the Quraanic permission for polygamy with an
unbiased mind, every rational person is bound to be convinced that
in situations of emergency, namely, whenever there is an abundance
of females - as it happens after the wars - and whenever there is
the problem of the uncared for and unsolicited widows and orphans,
it becomes a moral duty of Allah-fearing people to practice
polygamy, whereby alone the individuals can be saved from disaster
and the community can escape the horrors of prostitution.
There is, wrote Dr. Annie Besant, the renowned English leader of the
Theosophical Movement, "pretended monogamy in the West, but there is
really a polygamy without responsibility; the 'mistress' is cast out
to be the woman of the street, for the first lover has no
responsibility for her future and she is a hundred times worse off
than the sheltered wife and mother in the polygamous home. When we
see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of western
towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in
the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for
woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman, to live in
polygamy, united to one man only, with the legitimate child in her
arms, and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced, cast out into
the street perhaps with an illegitimate child outside the pale of
law unsheltered and uncared for, to become the victim of any
passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood,
despised by all." [5]
The Holy Quraan repudiates polyandry (or, plurality of husbands) and
the Hindu custom of Niyoga (or, loaning the wife to another person
for getting an issue), and the custom of exchanging wives practiced
by certain savage tribes.[6]
Temporary conjugal relations are prompted purely by lust, and in no
case for establishing that sublime spiritual relation between man
and woman, which alone can form the basis of building up the family.
Therefore, the Holy Quraan disallows temporary and compassionate
marriages. It says: "Except for these (prohibited relations), all
others (i.e., other women) are lawful, provided ye seek (them in
marriage) with gifts from your property (as dower-money), desiring
chastity (in permanent companionship), not lust (in any form of
temporary marriage)" (4: 24)
The wife has several duties towards her husband. Following are some
very important duties:
The wife should not go out of the house without the permission of
her husband. She should seek prior permission of her husband to
visit her relatives and friends.
It obligatory on her part to safeguard her husband's house and other
properties in his absence. She should not allow anybody to enter the
house without her husband's permission. She should not give her
husband's minor or major belongings to anybody without his
permission.
She should not indulge in any activity that her husband may dislike.
She should look after his children carefully.
She should keep herself and her house clean. She should decorate
herself with ornaments and suitable make-up to attract the attention
of her husband and to win over his love and affection. A Hadith
says: "Best is that woman who comforts her husband by her good looks
and loving gestures and fulfils the pledge of her husband and plays
the role of a guardian and a well-wisher in safeguarding her
chastity and the belongings of her husband in his absence."
Women After Marriage - Part 3
There are various incidents in our society when the husband refuses
to allow his wife to visit her parents. What right does a man think
he has over his wife's feelings and duties to stop her from seeing
her parents. Does he, by chance, think that by marrying her he has
come to own her. Does he put her in the same category or the same
relationship to a goat he buys. If so, he is certainly mistaken.
From the Islamic point of view, the relationship between a man and
his wife is one between two human beings of equal status. Each of
them has certain duties, but neither of them can negate the
independent personality of the other.
It is simply unacceptable from the Islamic point of view that a
husband should consider that the marriage divides his wife's life
into two separate stages and that each stage is completely isolated
from the other. If he tries to impose this situation, then he will
have a wife who is disillusioned, broken-hearted and totally lacking
in the ability to impart to her children the proper values of
kindness to family relations and dutifulness to parents. How could
she, when she herself is denied the right to maintain her
relationship with her parents.
The fact is that dutifulness to parents is a duty imposed by Allah
on all children, boys and girls, men and women, single or married.
This dutifulness does not stop at any particular stage in anyone's
existence. It extends throughout the parents, and the children's
lives. Being dutiful to one's parents is not considered to have been
completed when they die. Their children are required to continue to
show dutifulness to them by showing respect and kind treatment to
their friends and relatives, supplicating on their behalf, praying
to Allah to have mercy on them, reciting the Holy Quraan and giving
Sadaqah or charitable donations on their behalf, etc. When parents
have such a claim against their children, how is it possible that a
husband prevents his wife from visiting her parents.
If he does, then he is certainly unjust to her, unless he has a very
good reason for his action that can only be imagined in isolated
cases. A man should consider what his feelings would be like if her
unreasonable husband prevented his sister from seeing their parents.
He should extend to his wife the same treatment he would like to see
extended to his dearest sister.
If an elderly couple has only daughters and they all are married,
and the couple needs to be looked after, then their daughters should
try their best to look after them. Islam does not accept that such
elderly parents should be abandoned simply because their daughters
are married.
If a husband threatens his wife with divorce for visiting her
parents, he is unjust to her and to them. Injustice is forbidden in
Islam. Almighty Allah says in a Qudsi Hadith: "My servants, I have
forbidden injustice and have made injustice forbidden to you. Do not
be unjust to one another."
Nor is it permissible for a Muslim to obey anyone encouraging him to
be unjust to his wife, not even his parents. If your parents insist
that you treat your wife harshly or unjustly, you should realize
that injustice represents disobedience to Almighty Allah. The Holy
Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) says: "No creature may be
obeyed in what constitutes disobedience to the Creator."
The Best Wife
The best wife is she,
Who considers attending her husband as her foremost duty.
Who never leaves any requirement of her husband unfulfilled.
Who appreciates the merits of her husband and neglects his demerits.
Who takes pains in comforting her husband.
Who does not put any demand before her husband that is beyond his
capacity and leads a life of contentment.
Who never looks at strange and unknown men nor allows them to look
at her.
Who lives in Pardah and keeps her chastity safe.
Who safeguards the wealth, the property and other belongings of her
husband including herself.
Who proves her dedication to her husband by sacrificing everything
to salvage her husband from any calamity.
Who keeps patience over the atrocities inflicted to her by her
husband.
Who is looked upon respectfully both in her father's house and in
her husband's house.
Who is humble and kind to the neighbors and whose humility everyone
appreciates.
Who carries out her religious duties with punctuality and fulfills
the rights of the Creator and creatures.
Who tolerates with cool mind the bitterness of the members of her
husband's family.
Who first feeds the other members of the house and eats herself in
the last.
Conflict with mother-in-law
This is one of the darkest chapters in human history. The conflict
between mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law has been a centuries
old tradition. Almost every house faces this crisis. How surprising
is the matter that the mother brings up her son with utmost care and
love. She longs for her son to grow up soon and when the son reaches
his youth, she as the mother sets out to choose a suitable bride for
her son. In the process of matchmaking she insists on the most
beautiful girls of the world to be her daughter-in-law.
But when that most beautiful girl leaves her father's house and
enters her new house, the mother of her husband suddenly appears as
an avowed enemy. The reason of this conflict is purely a
psychological one. The mother, who has been reigning over this house
for the last so many years, suddenly finds that a new woman has come
to share not only the monopolistic authority of this house but also
the love and affection of her son. The newcomer woman not only
diverts the attention of her father-in- law but also the attention
of other male members of the house. The son also gets more involved
in her newly-wed lady than his mother. He does not call her mother
for attending his requirements. The father-in-law also gets immense
pleasure to call his daughter-in-law for his needs. This becomes
unbearable for the old lady and she develops a feeling of jealousy
against the new comer. Gradually, this feeling takes the shape of
severe hatred. The newcomer lady is quite young and enthusiastic in
her approach to life. She wants to bring about some innovation in
the old style of the house. The mother cannot tolerate this as she
thinks that the house still belongs to her. She is not prepared for
being neglected by the members of the family. Thus, starts a cold
war between the old lady and the new lady. Slowly and quite
unknowingly the entire house gets involved in this conflict.
The only way to end this conflict is that all the parties of this
conflict - the mother, her son and the daughter-in-law should
appreciate their respective rights and duties.
How the Mother-in Law should behave
Every mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as her own
daughter. If the daughter-in-law, due to her inexperience, commits a
mistake, she should not be rebuked or admonished. Rather, the
mother-in-law should gently teach her the correct way of doing
things. The old mistress of the house should always bear in mind
that this new lady has come to this house by leaving her parents and
relatives and friends. She is facing a new environment here with so
many strange faces around. The old lady should come forward and
become a useful companion of the new comer. She should accept the
wife of her son as her own daughter. Once this relationship develops
between the two ladies, the house will surely turn into a heaven on
earth.
How the Daughter-in-Law should behave
Every daughter-in-law should treat her mother-in-law as her own
mother. She should pay due respect to her, obey her commands and
attend to her needs. If the old mistress of the house rebukes her on
some matters, she should not answer back. Similarly, she should
treat her father-in-law as her own father and look after his
requirements. During the lifetime of her husband's parents, she
should never think of dividing the family by raising the demand of a
separate house for herself and her husband. She should be kind to
other ladies in her husband's family such as the wives of her
husband's elder and younger brothers. She should be friendly with
the sisters of her husband.
How the son should behave
The son should treat his bride with love and kindness. But at the
same time, he should not neglect his parents. He should show the
same vigor in loving his parents as was before his marriage. He
should not make his mother feel that her authority has been
minimized following the arrival of a new lady member. He should
carry out all transactions through his mother. He should also
instruct his bride not to undertake any work without the permission
of his parents. This would give the mother a confidence that she is
still the mistress of the house and both the son and the
daughter-in-law have allegiance to her authority.
Women After Marriage - Part 4
The Rights of the Wife
Almighty Allah has prescribed certain rights of the husband towards
their wives. The Holy Quraan says: "The women have almost the same
rights over men as men have certain rights over the women in
kindness."
Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Best
among you are those who behave well with the women." [1]
The Prophet of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said:
"I make a Wasiyyat to you about the women, so obey my will." [2]
In another Hadith, the Beloved Habeeb (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam)
is reported to have said: "No believing man should have enmity and
hatred against a believing woman. If he dislikes certain habits of
that woman, there would certainly be some virtues in her too." [3]
The Hadith means that the woman must be having both good and bad
habits. Man should not always point out her bad habits only. He
should also appreciate her good habits.
There are certain obligations that men owe to the women and these
obligations should be fully appreciated.
Every husband has the obligation to provide for the sustenance of
his wife. She should be provided with adequate food, a comfortable
home, suitable clothes and other basic amenities of life. He should
always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from
her parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends and has
joined him to share all the ups and downs of life. Hence, it has
become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts.
It should be remembered that husbands, who never bother for the
sustenance of their wives, commit a severe crime of depriving
Allah's creatures of their rights. Such people would be dealt with
severely in the Court of Allah. The Holy Quraan says: "Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one
more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from
their means." (4:34)
The husband should satisfy his wife's physical needs. The Sharee'ah
has not prescribed any limit for this. But, he has to ensure that
woman's minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may not
commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst.
There are certain men who, after marriage, do not take care of the
sexual needs of their wives. Such people are great sinners and will
be severely convicted in the Court of Allah. Almighty Allah has
granted women the right to conjugal relations with their husbands.
The importance of this right can be well understood by the following
example of Ameerul Mohmineen Sayyiduna Omar al-Farouk (radi Allahu
anhu): It is reported that he was on his routine inspection round at
night in Madinatul Munawwara when he heard an old lady moaning and
reciting melancholic couplets. The Caliph stopped there and listened
to the wailing lady. He investigated the matter and came to know
that the husband of the woman had gone for Jihad long time ago and
this woman has been remembering her husband with these sad couplets.
The Ameer was deeply moved and immediately issued an official Decree
to all chiefs of his army that no married man should be away from
his wife for more than four months. [4]
The husband should not beat up his wife without her committing a
most severe crime. The Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi
wasallam) has said: "Nobody should beat up his wife as he does beat
up his slave. He should make love with her later some time." [5]
However, if the woman commits a bigger crime, the husband can beat
her not in vengeance but with the intention of reforming her and as
a warning. While beating, he should take care that she should not be
hurt seriously. The Books of Fiqhah have mentioned that the husband
can punish his wife for four things:
If the husband orders his wife to decorate herself with ornaments
and legitimate make-up but she disobeys and remains dirty.
If the husband invites her to bed and she refuses without any
legitimate reason.
If she does not take bath to purify herself after menses.
If she abstain from performing Salaah without a legitimate reason
In the above circumstances, the husband should first persuade the
wife. If she does not agree to comply with his requests, he may
threaten her. If she still does not obey him, he can beat her
barring her face. He should not beat her so severely to the extent
of a fracture or a severe wound.
In order to bring peace and prosperity in the married life, both the
wife and the husband should take care of each others sentiments and
emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife nothing but
tension, depression and confusion. Similarly, the anger of the wife
brings to the husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture,
frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore, advisable to both
husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.
The husband should never appreciate the beauty and other merits of
strange woman in front of his wife. This may lead to create jealousy
and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think that her
husband has some illicit relations with that woman. This thought is
a poison that kills matrimonial relations. If a man cannot tolerate
that his wife should wrongly be associated with another man, the
wife also cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband. The
woman cannot listen to praise and admiration of another woman
through the lips of her husband even if that another woman happens
to be his mother or sister or some other close relative.
Man is, undoubtedly, made a ruler over the woman but it does not
mean that he should ask her to do a work, which is beyond her
capacity, or a work which she would not like to do. If the husband
still insists his wife to do the work against her will, she would
accomplish that job unwillingly and this would create a sort of
disgust against her husband, which would ultimately mar their
matrimonial life.
The husband should from time to time censure the life style of his
wife - sometimes in a harsh tone, sometimes with love and affection
and sometimes with persuasion. There are husbands who always keep a
rod hanging with their moustaches and never treat their wives in a
good manner other than rebuking and beating them. Such wives get
frustrated and start hating their husbands. There are other
hen-pecked husbands who over-pamper their wives even after they
commit severe blunders. Their wives become stubborn and outspoken.
The husband should implement this couplet of Sa'di of Shiraz in
their life. He says: "Strictness and pampering are very good things
but at appropriate times". For example, the surgeon cuts open the
wound but at the same time apply soothing ointment. Likewise, the
husband should not be very strict nor very soft. A middle path
always brings good results.
The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and
informally seek her consent in a loving manner and as a matter of
goodwill. He may ask her to invoke the Almighty Allah that the
journey may prove safe and beneficial for him. Similarly, while
returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for
her. This gesture would encourage the wife to think with
satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if he
was away engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus,
a simple initiative on the part of the husband will win over the
heart of his wife.
If the woman brings anything from her father's house or prepares
herself and presents it to the husband, he should express gratitude
and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband should never
reject or discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.
If the wife falls sick, the husband should dedicatedly look after
her. He should take extra pain in her nursing, feeding, etc. This
little service will win over the heart of the wife and she will be
very grateful to the husband.
The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife
and, to prove this, he should hand over the domain of the house to
her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The Holy Prophet of
Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that the woman is the
guardian and caretaker of her husband's house and Almighty Allah
will take an account from her in this regard on the Day of Judgment.
The very benefit of relying on the wife would be that she would feel
herself responsible for a vital department in the set up of the
household. This will give the husband an opportunity to freely think
of other things regarding the promotion and progress of his
business.
The husband should never share the secrets of her wife with others.
Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said:
"Worst is the person in the sight of Allah who goes to his wife and
then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of
others." [6]
The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his
wife. He should look smart, dynamic and a loveable person.
The husband should provide her with the paraphernalia of personal
hygiene such as soap, hair oil, comb, Mehndi, perfumes, etc. so that
the wife may keep herself neat and clean and in better looks.
The husband should not level charges of corrupt practices against
his wife without going into the depth of the matter. The
relationship between a husband and a wife is based purely on mutual
understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion
against each other would mar the relations of the husband and wife.
A Hadith says: "One Bedouin came to the court of the Holy Prophet (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam) and said, "O Allah's Apostle (sallal laahu
alaihi wasallam), my wife has delivered a child who is dark
complexioned and does not resemble me. I am sure it is not my child.
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "Do you have
some camels? He said, Yes, I have many camels. The Holy Prophet (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam) asked, What is the color of those camels? He
said, They are brown. The Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi
wasallam) asked, Are there some grey camels among them? He said,
Yes, a few of them are grey. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi
wasallam) said, Tell me how those brown camels gave birth to these
grey camels? He said, Some camel among the ancestors of my brown
camels would have been of grey color and these grey camels might
have taken their origin from that particular camel. The Holy Prophet
(sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, Similarly, it is possible that
anyone among your ancestors would have been of black complexion and
your child might have inherited his genetic influence. [7]
If there is some difference of opinion between the husband and wife,
the husband should not make a hurry to pronounce divorce to her. He
should exercise restraint. After his anger subsides, he should
ponder over the entire matter with a cool mind. He may seek the
advice of his elders in this matter and decide whether or not there
is a chance of reconciliation and settlement. If a point of
understanding and reconciliation emerges, he should act accordingly
and refrain from breaking the wedlock. The Beloved Habeeb (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that the divorce is the most
disliked things among the permissible things in the sight of
Almighty Allah. [8]
If both husband and wife feel that there is no way out except the
separation, the husband should pronounce one Talaaq after the woman
clears her menses. There will be a temporary separation between
them. This period will give them enough time to review their
decision of separation. If they think that reconciliation is in
their interest, the husband should take his wife back in his arms
and forget what had happened between them. But if they think that
they can no more live together, the husband should pronounce the
second Talaaq after she clears her menses. The second pronouncement
separates both of them. They have still a time to think of
reconciliation. If they decide to live together, they have to
perform the Nikah afresh after the period of Iddat is over. If they
do not go for any reconciliation till the completion of the Iddat
period, the third Talaaq will automatically come into force bringing
a permanent separation between them. They cannot enter wedlock
unless they go for Halalah. Halalah means that the woman should
marry another man and have physical intercourse with him. The
husband number two should divorce her. After the completion of the
period of Iddat, she can marry the husband number one again.
There are some ignorant persons who play with the word Talaaq. They
pronounce the divorce over minor clashes with their wives. After the
pronouncement of divorce they repent and rush to the theologians and
Muftis and force them to give a verdict in their favor. Some
persons, while approaching the theologians, tell a lie that they had
pronounced only one Talaaq. The Mufti has to allow them to retain
their wives according to the Law of Sharee'ah. Thus, these ignorant
people get themselves involved in establishing relations with a
woman who is otherwise not to be taken as wife without Halalah.
If a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do
justice with them. There should be equal treatment among wives in
respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal attention. He
has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Holy Prophet (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that if a man has two wives and does
not treat them equally, he would be raised on the Day of Judgment
with half his body paralyzed. [9]
If the husband faces some trouble because of the misbehavior of his
wife, he should try to avoid her and keep patience. Woman's
arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The Glorious
Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Woman has
been created from the bent rib of Adam. If somebody tries to make
the bent bone straight, it will rather break instead of becoming
straight. Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there
will be more a chance of separation instead of improvement in her
nature.
The husband should not behave as a miser in meeting the
materialistic requirements of his wife nor should he go for
extravagance in her maintenance. He should define his expenditure as
per his capacity.
The husband should not confine his wife within the four walls of his
house. She should be taken to her parents and relatives from time to
time provided these visits do not bring any trouble to the peace of
his house.
[1] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[2] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[3] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[4] Tareekhul Khulafa, page 95
[5] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280
[6] Muslim Shareef, Vol. 1, page 464
[7] Bukhari, Vol. 2, pg. 799
[8] Abu Da'ood, Vol. 1, pg. 303
[9] Tirmidhi, Vol. 1, pg. 136
From the Blessed LIPS of the PIOUS
Subjects are not the slaves of their rulers, they remain as free as
they be when they are born to their mothers. (Hazrat Umar - radi
Allahu anhu)
Moderation is most meritorious in affluence and pardon most
praise-worthy in power. (Hazrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz - radi Allahu
anhu)
A student who learns half-heartedly and ungratefully can never
succeed. A student who is humble and weak often reaches his goal.
(Imam Shaafa'i - radi Allahu anhu)
The test of a true Muslim's mind is that it is always, and to all
intents, strictly obedient to the Will of Allah, is constantly
afraid of behaving in a manner which is apt to displease Him
resulting in the withdrawing of His Grace. (Hazrat Kwaja Moinuddin
Chisti - radi Allahu anhu)
If patience and gratitude had been two she-camels, it would have
mattered little on which I rode. (Hazrat Umar Farooq - radi Allahu
anhu)
A person is not worthy of leadership in any capacity at all if he
has never memorised or recited the Quran on a regular basis and is
not familiar with the Hadith at a recognised level. This has to be
so because all knowledge for the sincere seeker is totally bound
within our Holy Book and the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam). (Hazrat Junaid Baghdadi -radi Allahu anhu)
If you come across anyone who claims to have divine inner
experiences which at the same time contravene the limits imposed by
the Holy Shariah, then, ignore him and never go near him. (Hazrat
Abu al-Hussain Noori - radi Allahu anhu)
The believer may be cheated out of his property, but never out of
his religion. And while the religion of the hypocrite could easily
be taken away from him, it is impossible to take away any of his
property. (Hazrat Yahya ibn Mu'adh al-Razi - radi Allahu anhuma)
The honour of man is his learning. Wise people are the torches,
lighting the path of truth. In knowledge lies man's opportunity for
immortality. While man may die, wisdom lives eternally. (Hazrat Ali
Murtudha radi Allahu anhu)
Sleep with the remembrance of death, and rise with the thought that
you will not live long. (Hazrat Uwais al-Qarni radi Allahu anhu)
To sit in the company of pious people is better than doing good and
to sit in the company of evil (immoral) people is worse than doing
evil. (Hazrat Khwaja Ghareeb-un-Nawaaz radi Allahu anhu)
A person who does in secret what he would be ashamed to do in public
has no self-respect; in fact, he does not even consider himself
being a human being. (Hazrat Dhu Nun al-Misri radi Allahu anhu)
As long as you do not see your virtues, you are virtuous; if you see
your merits, you have no merits. (Hazrat Abu Abdullah al-Sajazi radi
Allahu anhu)
The first thing which a man of intelligence should see is the
condition and composition of his own self and then all the creations
and inventions. (Hazrat Abul Qaadir Jilaani - radi Allahu anhu)
The company of a shameless man in this world will bring shame to you
on the Day of Judgement. (Imam Shafi'i - radi Allahu anhu)
A learned man who has many friends may be a fraud, because if he
were to tell them the truth, they would no longer be his friends. (Hazrat
Sufyan Thauri - radi Allahu anhu)
Do not regret the past and do not worry about the future. (Hazrat
Dhun Nun Misri - radi Allahu anhu)
There are some people who only talk of piety but they indulge in
worldly pleasures. They prevent others from loving this world but
they love this world too much. (Hazrat Ali - radi Allahu anhu)
"It puzzles me that a man should perish when he possesses the means
to save himself". When they asked him to explain, he said: "The
Prayer for forgiveness!" (Hazrat Ali - radi Allahu anhu)
The body that has defect in it's spirit will never become sweet
(even) if you smear it with honey. (Hazrat Jalaaluddin Rumi - radi
Allahu anhu)
Conceal your good deeds as you conceal your evil deeds. (Hazrat
Rabia Basri - radi Allahu anha)
If a person cannot be rectified by expressing good manners and
behaviour, he can be rectified by ill-treatment. (Hazrat Ali al-Murtudha
- radi Allahu anhu)
He is a hardened sinner who commits sins and yet simultaneously
entertains the belief that he is one of Allah's "chosen few." (Hazrat
Kwaja Mu'inuddin Chisti - radi Allahu anhu)
Even the Angels in the Heavens pray for him who, having performed
his morning Namaaz, remains sitting there engaged in the meditation
of Allah. (Kwaja Mu'inuddin Chisti - radi Allahu anhu)
The meanest of all people is one who busies himself exclusively in
feeding and clothing himself. (Hazrat Baba Farid-ud-Din - radi
Allahu anhu)
A pious and sincere Aalim always exercises humility but when the
vulgar and wicked possesses knowledge, he begins to boast. (Hazrat
Ali al-Murtuda - radi Allahu anhu)
There are three signs in a young sincere man: (1) He will praise
without an ulterior motive, (2) He will give charity before being
approached, and (3) He will fulfil all his promises. (Sheikh Maroof
Karkhi - radi Allahu anhu)
One who has not learnt the Quran and written the Hadith, that is,
one who is ignorant about the Laws of Shariah, never follow him in
anything pertaining to Tariqah and do not take him as your Peer
because our knowledge of Tariqah is strictly in accordance with the
Quran and Hadith (ie. Shariah).(Sheikh Abul Qasim Junaid Baghdadi -
radi Allahu anhu)
If the destitute or needy come to you, regard it as a gift from
Allah and value it by fulfilling their needs. (Hazrat Imam Hussein -
radi Allahu anhu)
No virtue is greater that piety and silence, no enemy greater than
ignorance and no sickness is greater than lies. (Hazrat Imam Jafer
as-Sadiq - radi Allahu anhu)
The only treatment for solving grief and misfortune is concealing it
by patience. (Sheikh Ma'roof Karkhi - radi Allahu anhu)
Respect and honour at all times the descendants, Ulama and
Mashaa'ikhs who are on the path of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam). (Hazrat Sha Ale Ahmed Ach'che Mia - radi
Allahu anhu)
Keep your heart in attendance so that none else could find entrance.
(Hazrat Owais Qarni - radi Allahu anhu)
Renounce the world and you will find the way of Allah paved for you.
(Hazrat Junaid Baghdadi - radi Allahu anhu)
Take account of your deeds before you are accounted for them on the
day of Judgement. (Hazrat Dhun Nun Misri - radi Allahu anhu)
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is a bankless river.
Even if a single drop of this river is out the entire world will get
drown in it. (Hazrat Abul Hasan Khirqani - radi Allahu anhu)
A few days spent in the company of Friends of Allah are better than
a hundred years of sincere obedience to Allah. If thy seekest Divine
Vicinity, spend your time with Saints! The further thou art with
them, the further thou will be from Allah. If yours is a stony heart
it will turn into pearl in the company of the Ecstatics. (Moulana
Jalaluddin Rumi - radi Allahu anhu)
A mystic is like a sun which shed its light on all; he is like earth
which sustains the burden of all; and he is like water which
enlivens the hearts. (Hazrat Sirri Saqti - radi Allahu anhu)
Anyone who is desirous of name and fame can never get peace and
comfort in life. (Hazrat Bishar Hafi - radi Allahu anhu)
Do not associate with one whose association will not help you after
death. (Hazrat Malik bin Dinar - radi Allahu anhu)
Weep more and laugh less; keep silent more, talk less. (Hazrat Abul
Hassan Kirqani - radi Allahu anhu)
When your sustenance narrows and decreases, repent (Istighfaar) to
Allah and read your Kalima, Allah will increase His bounties and
sustenance for you. (Hazrat Ali al-Murtuda - radi Allahu anhu)
One who exercises love and affection for his brother today will
enjoy its reward tomorrow. (Hazrat Imam Hussain - radi Allahu anhu)
Never ever go to the home of those who pass their time in play and
amusement. (Hazrat Sheikh Barkatullah Sha - radi Allahu anhu)
Never make an unclear or controversial statement that can be
misinterpreted thus leading to embarrassment and problems. (Hazrat
Sha Ale Ahmed Ache Mia - radi Allahu anhu)
A person who is mean to part with his wealth is always first and
quick in giving his honour and respect (Izzat). (Hazrat Ali al-Murtuda
- radi Allahu anhu)
No virtue is greater than piety and silence, and no enemy is greater
than ignorance, and no sickness is greater than lies. (Hazrat Imam
Jaffer as-Sadiq - radi Allahu anhu)
Worldly people run behind the Duniya while the Duniya runs behind
those who seek Allah. (Hazrat Sheikh Sayyid Abdul Qaadir Jilani -radi
Allahu anhu)
Value nobleness and excellence and hasten to achieve them. (Hazrat
Imam Hussein - radi Allahu anhu)
A Sufi is like the earth - even if impurities are thrown on it, it
will flourish with lush greenery. (Hazrat Sheikh Abul Qasim Junaid
al-Baghdadi - radi Allahu anhu)
That person can never become perfect until he does not give
preference to Deen (religion) over his personal desires. (Hazrat
Sheikh Sirri Saqti - radi Allahu anhu)
Guard your tongue from self-praise as you guard it from sins. (Hazrat
Sheikh Ma'roof Karkhi - radi Allahu anhu)
One who cannot discipline ones self can never discipline others. (Hazrat
Sheikh Sirri Saqti - radi Allahu anhu)
Always abstain from the company of five people:-
A liar who always keeps you in doubt.
An idiot who will try and do good for you that will turn out to be
disastrous.
A miser who, for his personal insignificant gain, will put you into
great problems.
A coward who will leave you in the lurch at the time of crisis.
An evil-doer or sinner who will betray you for a morsel and accept a
much less reward. (Hazrat Imam Jaffer as-Sadiq - radi Allahu anhu)
A true believer (Mu'min) will never be unfaithful, treacherous or a
liar. (Hazrat Imam Moosa Kazim - radi Allahu anhu)
Conceal hardship because you can achieve proximity (closeness) to
Allah by it. (Hazrat Sheikh Sayyid Abdul Qaadir Jilani - radi Allahu
anhu)
To seek Paradise without good practice (Amal) is a sin, to wait for
intercession (Shafa'at) without practising Sunnah is a type of
pride, and depending on Allah's Mercy by malpractice (disobedience)
is ignorance and stupidity. (Hazrat Sheikh Ma'roof Karkhi - radi
Allahu anhu)
An Arif (mystic) is he who at times cannot defend himself against a
meek mosquito, but at times can carry the seven skies and earths
with the tip of his eyebrow and throw them aside. (Hazrat Sheikh
Jafar Abubakr Shibli - radi Allahu anhu)
Always speak softly and lovingly with the creation of Allah. (Hazrat
Sheikh Barkatullah Sha - radi Allahu anhu)
Women After Marriage - Part 5
How to live happily with the husband
Remember, the relationship between a husband and his wife is a very
strong and life long association. The affinity and understanding
between the two is the greatest grace of the Almighty Allah. Once
this understanding gets disturbed, the life on both the sides gets
spoiled.
The domestic quarrels between husband and wife have become very
common these days. Several Muslim houses are burning in this fire.
The difference of opinion between wife and husband reaches a stage
when both of them pray for death. It is very easy to eliminate this
difference of opinion and a state of civil war within the household.
Here are some ways to establish permanent peace on the home front:
Every wife should try to appease her husband day and night. This
would satisfy his ego and he would feel that there is someone in the
house that cares for him. A husband likes a wife who obeys his
orders without arguments and without asking why and how. If the
husband asks her to massage him throughout the night, she should
bear that much pain and patiently obey his command. This little
trouble would bring to her immense love from her husband.
Every wife should understand the temperament of her husband. She
should know the likes and dislikes of her husband. By living with
him for years together she may excel in knowing what makes him happy
and what annoys him. She should master in her husband's habits and
tastes.
It is obligatory on the part of the wife never to fight with her
husband. She should not pass sarcastic comments to him nor should
she criticize him bitterly. She should not give him a sharp and
rigid reply nor should she pass any left-handed comment. She should
also not find out defects in things brought by him nor should she
describe his house and other property as useless and base. She
should not pass adverse comments about the parents of her husband as
this may lead to unnecessary arguments and will ultimately end in
hatred towards each other. This hatred gradually aggravates to the
extent of separation. The wife will leave her husband's house and go
to her parent's house where her brother's wife and unmarried sisters
may make her life miserable by taunting at her. This may lead to a
bigger fight between the family of the woman and the family of man.
The matter ultimately goes to the Court and drags for years
together.
The wife should not ask her husband to give her money beyond his
capacity. Whatever her husband gives her for running the house; she
should accept it smilingly and run the household within the budget.
Let the husband himself ask her what she would like him to bring for
her. And when the husband brings something for her, she should
appreciate it and express happiness in accepting the gift.
The wife should never pass comments on the looks and physique of her
husband nor should she ever be ungrateful to him. She should not
complain: "I have never been happy in your house. Oh Allah! My whole
life spent out in sorrows and hardships. What I saw after coming to
this ruined house. My parents have thrown me into this hell. They
married me to a pauper and unlucky man like you." This sort of
groaning will make the husband disappointed and disgusted. This
frustration gradually will lead to constant fights and face-to-face
confrontation and finally to the divorce. The Glorious Prophet of
Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "I saw plenty of women in
the Hell". The Companions asked: "How come, O Allah's Apostle (sallal
laahu alaihi wasallam)" He said: "For two reasons: First, the women
indulge much in taunting and criticizing others. Secondly, the
husbands may be treating them well for years but once they
experience something less than their expectations they would say:
"We have never seen any good from you."
The wife should show utmost restraint and respect in front of her
husband. Whenever the husband returns home, she should welcome him
leaving all the work aside. She should arrange for his comforts. She
should not talk to him in a way that may annoy or confuse him. If
the husband gets annoyed with the wife over some issue, she should
keep silence and should not utter anything that may aggravate his
anger.
If the husband gets annoyed over some of her mistake and rebukes
her, she should not feel it bad. She should unconditionally beg his
pardon and bring him back to his good mood by persuasive methods. If
the husband rebukes her without any fault, she should not repay him
in the same coin. This would be her greatness to make her husband
happy.
The wife should not ask her husband the account of his debit and
credit. The husband gets irritated over this accountability and this
irritation leads to conflicts. Similarly, the wife should not
investigate her husband's whereabouts and engagements nor should she
express any doubt on the character of her husband, as it would
disturb the mutual trust.
As long as her husband's parents are alive, she should obey them and
attend their requirements. The husband is their son and if they
incite him against the wife, he will be annoyed at her that will
ultimately result in deterioration of relations. Similarly, she
should treat her husband's brothers and sisters nicely. She should
never try to divide the family. She should never insist on her
separate household. However, if the parents of her husband
themselves decide to live separately; she should welcome their idea
happily. But after this separation she should always visit her
in-laws and find out their difficulties and help them promptly.
If the wife faces any hardship in her husband's house, she should
never narrate it to her parents and relatives. This creates tension
between the two families.
The wife should concentrate more on her looks - her clothes and
personal hygiene. She should take into account her husband's likes
and dislikes. She should occasionally apply Mehndi (Henna) in her
hands and feet. She should not keep her hair shattered and
disturbed. A little carelessness with regard to the physical fitness
may compel the husband to go to other women who make special
arrangements to look good to the husbands of careless women.
The wife should take food last of all in her husband's house. She
should arrange food for her husband, his parents, his brothers and
sisters. She should always play a hostess at the dining table.
The wife should not develop a habit of admiring her parents and
other relatives in her husband's house. This would create an
impression in the minds of her in-laws that she is lowering their
status.
The wife should not spy upon her in-laws. She should not try to
listen secretly to the conversation of other women in her husband's
house. It is very foolish of her to presume that they might be
talking bad about her.
The wife should share housework with the mother-in-law and the
sisters-in-law/s. This would create a feeling of helpfulness in the
hearts of the women in her husband's house. The women folk will
start liking her and cooperate with her in all matters. She should
attend to her ailing mother-in-law or other sick members in her
husband's house, as this would give her a dignified status in that
house.
If the husband is poor and has no capacity to employ a maid-servant,
the wife should not make any complaint of doing the work herself.
Many tradition of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi
wasallam) reported in Bukhari indicate that the beloved daughter of
the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), Sayyidah Faatima az-Zahra
(radi Allahu anha) personally attend to the domestic affairs of her
home. She went to the community well herself, filled up the
container with water and carried it on her back to her home. She
used to grind the flour at home and due to this rugged exercise, her
palms got wounded. Similarly, Sayyidah Asma (radi Allahu anha), the
daughter of Sayyiduna Abu Bakr Siddique (radi Allahu anhu) did the
entire domestic work alone in the house of her husband Sayyiduna
Zubair (radi Allahu anhu). She brought date seeds from distant
orchards to feed the camels and massage the horses.
The wife should keep a balance between the income of her husband and
the expenditure of the house. If the husband is very poor, she
should not insist upon him to bring items of luxury. She should be
content with whatever is available within the limited resources.
The wife should not demonstrate any obstinacy and stubbornness in
her husband's house. This is a general habit of women that they get
furious very soon. Their parents may bear this fury but the in-laws
will not bear this. The stubbornness of a woman in her husband's
house becomes an issue of great criticism. Her obstinacy earns her a
very bad name.
The house of the husband is a new place for every woman. She comes
across with so many strange faces with different habits and
behaviors. There is a possibility of difference of opinion and a
clash of interests between the two parties. But the wife should keep
patience and be kind to the mother-in-law and other members of her
husband's house. One day or the other, the family of her husband
itself will feel ashamed of their rude behavior and extend a hand of
friendship and cooperation towards the new comer.
The wife should live in her husband's house with discipline. She
should neither talk too much nor too less. She should talk sense.
Her diction and intonation should be soft, clear and sublime. Her
speech should not hurt any body.
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